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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

Teachin' yourself shit that mattered? Like...the smart stuff. School-y stuff.

[ dave can fake a bunch of knowledge and has an eclectic base, but he never really taught himself an entire branch of science or anything. ]

Bein'...I don't know, competent at shit that's actually useful.

[splinten]

I never invented anything new or advanced any of the fields I picked up. I just learned what other people had left behind, like I did with everything else. Anyone can do that. We've definitely had tech people in here better than me, more than once. People use me for it mostly because I've been here longest and am the most workaholic tech left around.

[Dirk isn't modest but he doesn't think it's that remarkable. The only robot he ever felt was truly worthwhile was Huggy Bear/Lil Seb, and that was because of the bunny he put inside.]

[parodeity]

I think you underestimate how difficult that kind of shit can be to learn. Or like...I'm pretty sure you're underestimatin' some of what I know you can do?

[splinten]

You're already catchin' up fast, and you're operatin' in multiple fields. The only reason you won't be able to do what I can do in a couple years would be if you decided you weren't interested in the subject.

[As simple as that. Dave is at least as smart as Dirk, if not smarter.]

[parodeity]

And now we're into the overestimatin' me portion of the morning.

[ there's simply no way he's going to ever come close to anything dirk or roxy or even rose can do intellectually, but it's nice dirk is deluded enough to think so, he supposes? ]

I am not sure this battle is as epic as was advertised.

[splinten]

My estimates on this front are extremely accurate. Your aptitude with statistics and the stock market already proves that you're capable of processing and analysing large amounts of data complexly, on the fly.

[Dave is smart?]

Are they ever?

[parodeity]

The stock market was run by crocodiles, it wasn't exactly rocket science.

[ dave disagrees with this assessment, although admittedly he tends to disagree with most positive assessments of himself unless...tricked into it like dirk, sometimes? wow. at least he used to pretend to believe the positive assessments of himself and talked them up, back when he was thirteen. ]

I mean, some monster movies deliver for a given value of deliver? But I guess it's hard to name one that has monster-to-monster combat that's, like, stellar?

[splinten]

You're completely ignoring the kind of mental mathematics you had to do, dude.

[Dirk knows what he sees. Dave is smart. He will fight on this.]

My theory is that the lake of a real sense of scale through the human perspective diminishes all monster vs monster fights.

[parodeity]

That wasn't anythin' special. It wasn't, like, calculus.

[ dave will fight back? though there's literally no ire in his tone. it's matter-of-fact. ]

I think that's bullshit. You could totally make a good monster vs monster movie, you just, like...have to give them maybe more backstory, I guess? And like...well that might diminish the monster movie genre cliches?

[splinten]

It was advanced statistics mentally computing numbers at a level very few people are capable of.

[So it's good.]

How would you do a monster vs monster movie?

[parodeity]

That's just time player shit.

[ real questions: does caliborn do this kind of math ]

Like, here? Probably claymation would be cool to do.

[splinten]

It's more than that. You adapt quickly to new circumstances and acquire new skills and knowledge fast.

[that means rereading caliborn's sections and i won't do it]

That'd be cool. I think the loss of practical special effects really hurt the industry.

[parodeity]

Not the kinda fast that'd match up to you.

[ he will keep up this calm debate? ]

I like oldschool special effects. Besides, I'd kill it at stop motion shit.

[ he is. really good at remembering how things should be in a given scene and like

time powers

yeah ]

[splinten]

You're already better at math than I am. Why wouldn't you catch up to me in tech while I catch up to you in math?

[He worries about having this debate right now but he is. Really bad at letting people be Wrong.

Dirk sucks.]

Would you give the monsters backstories?

[parodeity]

[ dirk gets a blank stare. what. ]

I'm not better at math than you?

[ sounds fake? ]

And yeah, probably. But not like...easily understood ones. They gotta be mysterious. Just enough to go on so you can fill in the blanks yourself, you know?

[splinten]

[There's a pause.]

You are? Is this like you not realizin' you're faster than me.

[It keeps happening.]

I follow. Any in mind?

[parodeity]

Since when? You knew math shit I didn't when we went through those textbooks.

[ still sounds fake ]

Yeah. A few. I'd have to give it more thought, but probably I'd draw from shit I know.

[splinten]

You knew math shit I didn't. The math I know is just the stuff I integrate into my computing and technology things.

[this is a silly debate.]

Can I hear one?

[parodeity]

Which requires, like, smart-person math. Not street-person math.

[ continuing the silly debate. ]

I think it'd be more impactful if you saw it.

[splinten]

People on the street cannot do your math.

[Why won't Dave believe him. He knows why but why.]

...You're gonna make it?

[dirk don't sound so excited]

[parodeity]

Do you wanna call up everyone we know, 'cause I'm sure they can.

[ .............

well, maybe not john? sorry john ]

It ain't like I got a whole lot else on my plate aside from, like, farmin' and tryin' to teach the Kharaa to chill the fuck out. Which...I guess includes healin' the huge sick fish now, somehow? But it probably wouldn't be, like, that great. It'd be an ok way to kill time though.

[splinten]

We don't know people on the street. We know freaks of nature and weirdos. We are basically the least representative sample imaginable.

[yeah not john though]

I want to see it.

[HE REALLY WANTS TO SEE IT]

[parodeity]

Right, who are all better at math than me, so there you go.

[ he wins!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok but realistically dave is. probably better at math than a lot of them. not science? but math. ]

I think you're gettin' your hopes up on quality here.

[splinten]

No, they aren't. [Like. They aren't?] You're definitely better at math than John, Rose, Kanaya, and Karkat. I'd bet you're better than Jake and Jade. You'd also have me and Roxy beat. None of us are idiots. [...Well.] Okay, maybe John and the trolls aren't as intellectually-minded. But Rose's thing is arts and humanities, and Jake and Jade are into sciences. Me and Roxy do tech and mechanics.

You're also totally glossing over what I think is your best quality, in terms of intelligence, which is your creativity and adaptability. You're maybe the most creative dude I know.

[Which leads us to—]

My hopes are fine. I want to see your movie.

[parodeity]

But on that list like three or four people can do rocket science, you realize.

[ that's. the only defensive he can come up with because honestly, he's never even considered the remote possibility he might be better at a book-thing than anyone else except maybe. john? the fighting thing he's considered but powers complicate things - he's sure rose could kick his ass with her magic bullshit if she tried, and has never contemplated what adding his powers would be like, john's a fucking op menace, jade is even worse. dirk he can just about handle but it's not like that's a cakewalk. ]

Maybe? You always see a little too much.