We can resume work on that kind of thing. Sorey was doing work on it, I know. I'd always figured I'd eventually end up having to handle ISHMAEL but this is more urgent.
[Nothing about it is more urgent except it now directly threatens Dave.]
Ok, one, you did not mean just you for dealin' with ISHMAEL, did you, because I just reheard that and it kinda sounded like that.
[ and if so he has words, but also: ]
Two, that's only if the planet finds out before we fix the fish, and people've been workin' on it for ages and they've been sick for ages and I think we're makin' what progress we can. Three, Rose still thinks it's possible to get a balanced end and I believe her on that shit.
I wasn't going to one-v-one it in a Strife. I am a reformed dude. I do not solo bosses.
[Just.]
My assumption was that the work of analysing, locating, and strategizing a method of interfering with and either rewriting or destroying ISHMAEL would be on me. And that also I'd probably be the one to build the program or system that would handle it.
Roxy and Jade and Jake. Hinata. [ he hates saying it because he hates hinata and doesn't trust him and he doesn't like admitting it but he already did this conversation, so - it's not like he's smart enough to help, can't offer himself, and dirk clearly knew that well enough to not even bring up the possibility, but other people can. ] URSULA, even. Naoko would probably not be opposed to givin' at least some help, we've done a ton of shit for her and I actually kinda trust the lady.
[ john and karkat try to code but they suck so dave doesn't even bother to mention them. ]
There are people smart and capable enough to pitch in.
I thought you were tryin' to learn to give yourself a break sometimes.
[ how many times can they throw one another's words at the other in this conversation with only a change in who is doing the tossing. stay tuned 2 find out. ]
I'm currently tryin' to think of a time when you actually asked me for help on a thing.
[ this isn't even censure he's just legitimately pausing to try to figure out if dirk has ever actually asked or if it has mostly been dave offering or insisting.
god why are they exactly the same in the worst fucking ways ]
I definitely ask you for help. We do the majority of our missions together, and several of those were initiated by me. [Can he think of a specific time.] I asked you to be my back-up and get us out of there if somethin' happened to me when we went to visit the planet's soul.
That isn't what I meant, though. I meant with things like this. For problems you have, not missions - usually I think you just deal with 'em in house like I would do, or other people who ain't me end up takin' care of you so you don't really need to.
[The frown deepens.] You really have no clue how I rely on you. I'm not going to argue that I don't try to take on too much for myself. It's a pretty well-documented character flaw of mine. I don't ask anyone for help on those, so it's sort of to part of your point, but not the other one you seem to be makin'.
I depend on you for help on a day-to-day basis, Dave. You train me in Strifin', you train my Heart powers, you get me to sleep, you prevent me from overworkin' myself, you keep me fed. You are regularly, constantly helpin' me.
I mean...that's true now, I guess, but it hasn't always been?
[ and it wasn't really his main concern and he didn't really mind. he only meant that the few times dirk has actually been ill enough to require care, he hasn't needed to ask dave for anything since other people have taken charge of said care. this isn't a bad thing as the main issue was > was dirk getting care at all? ]
That wasn't the point I was makin', that part was pretty much irrelevant. The whole problems thing was more to the point? But if you're gonna ask for help with the probably-murderous AI who is probably gonna call URSULA out someday, that's my objection on the matter cleared.
That's true because we met less than a year ago and have been since slowly workin' out all the things we need each other's help on and how best to implement that help. [So yes it hasn't always been the case. Dirk has no idea that Dave is talking about illness, at which point Dirk would refer to the time he told Dave he was tired and let Dave tuck him in.
But fine, the other thing. So be it.]
Do you want to learn about AIs and nanites and help me?
Correct. The examples I'm referrin' to were all - I guess less than half a year ago but yeah.
[ he also would not have asked himself for help with illness, though he also would not ask himself now, so probably that's a questionable judgement call on dirk's part.
the question gets a look of blank surprise. ]
You want to teach me about AIs and nanites? [ ????? like yes that's what dirk just said but ] Wouldn't it be easier to use any of the ridic geniuses with at least half the trainin' necessary for this rather than workin' ground up with me??
What, where other people helped out? When you were sick durin' the storm that one time, but I was avoidin' gettin' caught out so whatever. I barely got to see you when you had a concussion. And I guess you never really approach me ever about stuff that ain't my lookout like - I dunno, whenever Mom fucks off into the void I'm never the one you ask for help from, and that makes sense? Or who you really talk to about any of it, or like, when you're upset sometimes I assume. I wasn't qualifyin' any of that as an issue since at least you get help which is the main thing I want at any given time. There are always gonna be things I'm a shit choice for helpin' for and I kind of assumed you knew that too since you like, made the appropriate choices.
[ well. no, he thinks he probably could have helped with the concussion, but so could anyone else with basic medical training so w/e. ]
But those are the sorts of things I was referrin' to when I said other people end up helpin' so you never have to ask me, or you ask whoever else. I don't think they matter so much as the times you don't ask anyone at all for help.
[ which. dave does too? but whatever. ]
If you want me to help I will, sure. Even though I'm p sure you should use the bat signal to alert the other techies left over, too.
[It hits him by surprise, and then the frown sinks in. So much of it is wrong.]
You wouldn't be a bad choice for helping when I'm unwell or upset. I've gone to you for that kind of thing. Yes, you avoided me when we were both sick, and Jake had dibs on me for the concussion since I scared him shitless in the process of gettin' it. You're overlookin' that you were the one who looked after me post Dream Journey To The Centre of the Earth, which is the only other time I've been sick here.
I don't ever ask for help when Rox vanishes into the void. People occasionally tag along when they catch me going into the most dangerous part of the ocean, but that's one of the not-askin' things, so you'll need to disqualify it under that umbrella. I'll give you that there are times when I've been upset and gone to someone else for emotional support. I'd like to point out that those are invariably times when you are in one way or another avoidin' me, and unlike you I don't have Time powers.
What you're really discountin' unfairly is that I talk to you about things that upset or disturb me all the time. They come up in various conversations touching on what are more or less the most essential issues of my existence, and they actually fuckin' help. Plus, you know, there's that little thing where I contact you to help me when I want to die.
If this is the kind of thing you're talkin' about, then you are seriously mistaken in your frame of reference. I can't tell if you're discountin' your own help or disqualifyin' my requests for your support, but you're either way I ask for your help all the time and get it. And you do a really good job of it.
[ discounting his own help, mostly, because it's always easier to see the ways in which he does not help than the ones in which he does. his left hand eases up to the back of his neck, rubbing at it. why did he have his head at an awkward angle for movie watching, shit. ]
I always just figured you didn't trust me with the void stuff. [ honestly. ] As like, backup or support or whatever. I didn't realize you didn't ask for help with the people who go with you when you went either. I take back not bein' concerned about it if you go alone a lot though?
[ shit. that's not the main thing here at all. but it's the only thing in all of it he feels equal to answering. ]
I feel like I am doin' the opposite of helpin' right this second, not gonna lie.
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Dunno? I never offered to like...see what was up with them. When they got sick.
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[Nothing about it is more urgent except it now directly threatens Dave.]
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[ dirk, reprioritize ]
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[...that wants to kill his brother]
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[ and if so he has words, but also: ]
Two, that's only if the planet finds out before we fix the fish, and people've been workin' on it for ages and they've been sick for ages and I think we're makin' what progress we can. Three, Rose still thinks it's possible to get a balanced end and I believe her on that shit.
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This feels like one of the moments where you grab the shaggy textile under my feet and suddenly I'm the younger brother.
[In other words: it is yes to 1, and now he knows he's in trouble, and also being scolded via 2 and 3.]
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[ this is in fact one of those moments where dirk is suddenly the younger brother, what up ]
Without any help from the rest of us. The murderous maybe final-boss AI? That one?
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[Just.]
My assumption was that the work of analysing, locating, and strategizing a method of interfering with and either rewriting or destroying ISHMAEL would be on me. And that also I'd probably be the one to build the program or system that would handle it.
There are barely any tech people left.
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[ john and karkat try to code but they suck so dave doesn't even bother to mention them. ]
There are people smart and capable enough to pitch in.
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[It's a weird response but once Dave starts rattling off people as teammates, Dirk instantly thinks he wants Dave on his.]
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[ i.e. Not A Smart Tech Person ]
I can provide snacks and moral support though, yeah.
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[He doesn't, usually. He directs people to others when he can't do something, but if he can he takes the entire responsibility on for himself.]
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[ how many times can they throw one another's words at the other in this conversation with only a change in who is doing the tossing. stay tuned 2 find out. ]
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[so there!
how to get dirk to insist it's okay for him to fail: call him a hypocrite]
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[ this isn't even censure he's just legitimately pausing to try to figure out if dirk has ever actually asked or if it has mostly been dave offering or insisting.
god why are they exactly the same in the worst fucking ways ]
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[ however: ]
That isn't what I meant, though. I meant with things like this. For problems you have, not missions - usually I think you just deal with 'em in house like I would do, or other people who ain't me end up takin' care of you so you don't really need to.
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I depend on you for help on a day-to-day basis, Dave. You train me in Strifin', you train my Heart powers, you get me to sleep, you prevent me from overworkin' myself, you keep me fed. You are regularly, constantly helpin' me.
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[ and it wasn't really his main concern and he didn't really mind. he only meant that the few times dirk has actually been ill enough to require care, he hasn't needed to ask dave for anything since other people have taken charge of said care. this isn't a bad thing as the main issue was > was dirk getting care at all? ]
That wasn't the point I was makin', that part was pretty much irrelevant. The whole problems thing was more to the point? But if you're gonna ask for help with the probably-murderous AI who is probably gonna call URSULA out someday, that's my objection on the matter cleared.
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But fine, the other thing. So be it.]
Do you want to learn about AIs and nanites and help me?
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[ he also would not have asked himself for help with illness, though he also would not ask himself now, so probably that's a questionable judgement call on dirk's part.
the question gets a look of blank surprise. ]
You want to teach me about AIs and nanites? [ ????? like yes that's what dirk just said but ] Wouldn't it be easier to use any of the ridic geniuses with at least half the trainin' necessary for this rather than workin' ground up with me??
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[He's confused. As to the blank surprise, though, Dirk is not confused.]
Yeah, I want you on my team in that capacity. You learn fast, you follow how I think better than anyone, and you are the most creative cheater I know.
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[ well. no, he thinks he probably could have helped with the concussion, but so could anyone else with basic medical training so w/e. ]
But those are the sorts of things I was referrin' to when I said other people end up helpin' so you never have to ask me, or you ask whoever else. I don't think they matter so much as the times you don't ask anyone at all for help.
[ which. dave does too? but whatever. ]
If you want me to help I will, sure. Even though I'm p sure you should use the bat signal to alert the other techies left over, too.
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You wouldn't be a bad choice for helping when I'm unwell or upset. I've gone to you for that kind of thing. Yes, you avoided me when we were both sick, and Jake had dibs on me for the concussion since I scared him shitless in the process of gettin' it. You're overlookin' that you were the one who looked after me post Dream Journey To The Centre of the Earth, which is the only other time I've been sick here.
I don't ever ask for help when Rox vanishes into the void. People occasionally tag along when they catch me going into the most dangerous part of the ocean, but that's one of the not-askin' things, so you'll need to disqualify it under that umbrella. I'll give you that there are times when I've been upset and gone to someone else for emotional support. I'd like to point out that those are invariably times when you are in one way or another avoidin' me, and unlike you I don't have Time powers.
What you're really discountin' unfairly is that I talk to you about things that upset or disturb me all the time. They come up in various conversations touching on what are more or less the most essential issues of my existence, and they actually fuckin' help. Plus, you know, there's that little thing where I contact you to help me when I want to die.
If this is the kind of thing you're talkin' about, then you are seriously mistaken in your frame of reference. I can't tell if you're discountin' your own help or disqualifyin' my requests for your support, but you're either way I ask for your help all the time and get it. And you do a really good job of it.
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[ discounting his own help, mostly, because it's always easier to see the ways in which he does not help than the ones in which he does. his left hand eases up to the back of his neck, rubbing at it. why did he have his head at an awkward angle for movie watching, shit. ]
I always just figured you didn't trust me with the void stuff. [ honestly. ] As like, backup or support or whatever. I didn't realize you didn't ask for help with the people who go with you when you went either. I take back not bein' concerned about it if you go alone a lot though?
[ shit. that's not the main thing here at all. but it's the only thing in all of it he feels equal to answering. ]
I feel like I am doin' the opposite of helpin' right this second, not gonna lie.
[ no acronyms. we're making progress. ]
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don't call dirk out on my mistakes lucy i hate you
I DISTRACTEDLY THOUGHT IT WAS ON PURPOSE
NO
ok thats my bad i can't multitask RETCONS IT SO DIRK GOT IT RIGHT AND THAT EXCHANGE NEVER HAPPEND
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