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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

Ok, but name one conversation we've had in a straight line.

[splinten]

I can name a thing that doesn't exist, but I can't point to it.

[yeah no there was none]

[parodeity]

Can we - [ he cuts himself off before he voices the request, because no, that's stupid. ]

What are we doin'.

[splinten]

What did you want to ask?

[parodeity]

Somethin' stupid that would cause more problems?

[ so like, par for the course ]

[splinten]

At this point there's maybe an obligation to voice the stupidest thoughts. We're in it deep, dude. You just watched me try to make Dogville watchable.

[Can anything more stupid and full of problems than that effort? He thinks not.]

[parodeity]

It's pointless. I was just gonna ask if we could go on a road trip, but we, uh, can't. So.

[ it's was a Dumb Impulse. ]

[splinten]

[A pause.]

Why can't we?

[parodeity]

Whenever I do that I find more plot shit.

[splinten]

And you don't want to get sucked into us havin' to tell everyone. [That makes sense. He doesn't know if he can fix it.] Does it still hold as bad if we go together and I report the plot shit. Like, if we make it 'mine' to decide? Or does that make it worse.

[parodeity]

I...don't know.

[ his gaze goes opaque, staring at the television screen and through it. ]

Sometimes I think I'd like it better if you just made all my decisions for me.

[splinten]

[Dirk watches him, and sees the unreadability slip over his expression.]

I can imagine. If it's any comfort, I think I trust myself with my own decisions as much as you trust yourself with yours. I just have really shitty control freak tendencies, putting my brain in a perpetual lockdown like the battle between a North-Going Zax and a South-Going Zax while highways are built around my psyche.

[parodeity]

[ there's a huff of dry laughter for the seuss reference, at least. ]

A version of you used to make all my decisions for me. Or I based 'em off of whatever I thought he wanted. It was...

[ he doesn't come up with a word, and shrugs. ]

So anyway it was a stupid request so I didn't make it.

[splinten]

Was it easier?

[Or something else.]

[parodeity]

I don't know that either option was ever easy. I don't know if many things in my life are generally cleancut like that?

[ he has to think about it. ]

The things that are easy always get complicated by the things that aren't.

[splinten]

That checks out philosophically and in terms of actual experience.

[You trade off an easy thing for a hard thing. Nothing ever really ends up easy.]

If you decide you want a road trip and that it would be okay for me to decide how the information spreads, or if you're fine with it let me know. [Hm...] It might be somethin' Rose could help untangle. I could listen to your reasoning on it, but I don't know if I could advise you.

[parodeity]

It's chill. I won't ask you on shit like that until I - fix it.

[ him. dave doesn't draw back but he slouches in place, still staring at the tv screen aimlessly. ]

What did you want my reasonin' on? Missed that.

[splinten]

Until you fix what?

[Whoops.]

[parodeity]

Me?

[ even as he says it he's pretty sure dirk's going to flip their ages again. ]

[splinten]

[Yup Dirk's now older.

He frowns, but it isn't unexpected, either. He swallows back.]

From the perspective of a guy who wants to fix everythin', I don't think of you as somethin' to be fixed.

[parodeity]

[ for now ]

I want to be able to do stupid shit with you without worryin' about hurtin' you or other people. My brain gets in the way of that. I'd sign up for a lobotomy immediately if a shady doctor started advertisin' them on the streets? Like sure Frankenstein, make me a real boy.

[splinten]

[It's the second reference to puppets. The second time Dave's implied he's walking on strings.]

Pretty sure a lobotomy isn't how Pinocchio gets saved.

[parodeity]

[ okay, but: ]

I miss you.

[ it's lonely and who cares if he has to cut pieces of himself away to fit a mold if he can just get the things he won't let himself have back. if they just don't hurt anyone else, if he just changes that much, he can have those things again. maybe. for at least until he's permanently locked out. ]

[splinten]

[For a moment, Dirk is dead quiet.

Then he pulls Dave into his arms and he hugs him, and he presses his face into his shoulder and holds him tight.]

I miss you too.

[parodeity]

[ dave doesn't shove him off. he curls into the hug and thinks that time powers are useless when they can't fix the mistakes that hurt worst. ]

So I can fix it.

[ and maybe if he's desperate enough to pretend things are fine they'll suddenly be fine, or maybe just once no one else will notice and care and at least he won't be lonely in the bargain of being caught up in his own head. ]