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[parodeity]

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[splinten]

Okay. That's gettin' reprioritized. [He wants to make a public broadcast RIGHT NOW demanding everyone FIX THOSE SICK FISH DAMMIT which Dave can possibly tell from, you know, Dirk being Dirk and actually an open book to Dave.]

[parodeity]

I would've mentioned her vision sooner but like right after she had it the whole idiotic language thing occurred.

[ he was not gonna mime it. ]

[splinten]

It's not a problem. We'll just double down now.

[he knows he can't leap out of the couch and save all the fish right now all on his own

but he wants to]

[parodeity]

...Chill, dude, you ain't a doctor either. Rose'll say if it's an immediate concern, just...I don't think anyone should mention the Kharaa to the planet 'till we fix shit.

[ maybe. ]

[splinten]

Agreed. [The second part, obviously, because—] I can gather fish for study. There are probably medical things we can teach ourselves to help out. There might be a way for the Heart thing to work the way it did with Kharaa infection although the disease may not apply.

[the planet might go after dave]

[parodeity]

[ ok maybe he should have left out the part where he figures he'd be in trouble with the planet. that may have been a miscalculation. ]

Dunno? I never offered to like...see what was up with them. When they got sick.

[splinten]

We can resume work on that kind of thing. Sorey was doing work on it, I know. I'd always figured I'd eventually end up having to handle ISHMAEL but this is more urgent.

[Nothing about it is more urgent except it now directly threatens Dave.]

[parodeity]

Uh, I'm pretty sure the potentially murderous AI ranks higher on the list of concerns?

[ dirk, reprioritize ]

[splinten]

Not against a potentially murderous planet.

[...that wants to kill his brother]

[parodeity]

Ok, one, you did not mean just you for dealin' with ISHMAEL, did you, because I just reheard that and it kinda sounded like that.

[ and if so he has words, but also: ]

Two, that's only if the planet finds out before we fix the fish, and people've been workin' on it for ages and they've been sick for ages and I think we're makin' what progress we can. Three, Rose still thinks it's possible to get a balanced end and I believe her on that shit.

[splinten]

[...]

This feels like one of the moments where you grab the shaggy textile under my feet and suddenly I'm the younger brother.

[In other words: it is yes to 1, and now he knows he's in trouble, and also being scolded via 2 and 3.]

[parodeity]

You've been plannin' to take on the murderous AI alone.

[ this is in fact one of those moments where dirk is suddenly the younger brother, what up ]

Without any help from the rest of us. The murderous maybe final-boss AI? That one?

[splinten]

I wasn't going to one-v-one it in a Strife. I am a reformed dude. I do not solo bosses.

[Just.]

My assumption was that the work of analysing, locating, and strategizing a method of interfering with and either rewriting or destroying ISHMAEL would be on me. And that also I'd probably be the one to build the program or system that would handle it.

There are barely any tech people left.

[parodeity]

Roxy and Jade and Jake. Hinata. [ he hates saying it because he hates hinata and doesn't trust him and he doesn't like admitting it but he already did this conversation, so - it's not like he's smart enough to help, can't offer himself, and dirk clearly knew that well enough to not even bring up the possibility, but other people can. ] URSULA, even. Naoko would probably not be opposed to givin' at least some help, we've done a ton of shit for her and I actually kinda trust the lady.

[ john and karkat try to code but they suck so dave doesn't even bother to mention them. ]

There are people smart and capable enough to pitch in.

[splinten]

Would you help?

[It's a weird response but once Dave starts rattling off people as teammates, Dirk instantly thinks he wants Dave on his.]

[parodeity]

There's kind of a reason you didn't ask me to start with?

[ i.e. Not A Smart Tech Person ]

I can provide snacks and moral support though, yeah.

[splinten]

The reason I didn't ask you is I had assumed it would all fall on me alone. You'll note I didn't ask a single other person either.

[He doesn't, usually. He directs people to others when he can't do something, but if he can he takes the entire responsibility on for himself.]

[parodeity]

I thought you were tryin' to learn to give yourself a break sometimes.

[ how many times can they throw one another's words at the other in this conversation with only a change in who is doing the tossing. stay tuned 2 find out. ]

[splinten]

I said 'try.' Also learn. That implies a learning curve and allowance for failure.

[so there!

how to get dirk to insist it's okay for him to fail: call him a hypocrite]

[parodeity]

I'm currently tryin' to think of a time when you actually asked me for help on a thing.

[ this isn't even censure he's just legitimately pausing to try to figure out if dirk has ever actually asked or if it has mostly been dave offering or insisting.

god why are they exactly the same in the worst fucking ways ]

[splinten]

I definitely ask you for help. We do the majority of our missions together, and several of those were initiated by me. [Can he think of a specific time.] I asked you to be my back-up and get us out of there if somethin' happened to me when we went to visit the planet's soul.

[parodeity]

Oh. Yeah, I guess you did ask all of us for that.

[ however: ]

That isn't what I meant, though. I meant with things like this. For problems you have, not missions - usually I think you just deal with 'em in house like I would do, or other people who ain't me end up takin' care of you so you don't really need to.

[splinten]

[The frown deepens.] You really have no clue how I rely on you. I'm not going to argue that I don't try to take on too much for myself. It's a pretty well-documented character flaw of mine. I don't ask anyone for help on those, so it's sort of to part of your point, but not the other one you seem to be makin'.

I depend on you for help on a day-to-day basis, Dave. You train me in Strifin', you train my Heart powers, you get me to sleep, you prevent me from overworkin' myself, you keep me fed. You are regularly, constantly helpin' me.

[parodeity]

I mean...that's true now, I guess, but it hasn't always been?

[ and it wasn't really his main concern and he didn't really mind. he only meant that the few times dirk has actually been ill enough to require care, he hasn't needed to ask dave for anything since other people have taken charge of said care. this isn't a bad thing as the main issue was > was dirk getting care at all? ]

That wasn't the point I was makin', that part was pretty much irrelevant. The whole problems thing was more to the point? But if you're gonna ask for help with the probably-murderous AI who is probably gonna call URSULA out someday, that's my objection on the matter cleared.

[splinten]

That's true because we met less than a year ago and have been since slowly workin' out all the things we need each other's help on and how best to implement that help. [So yes it hasn't always been the case. Dirk has no idea that Dave is talking about illness, at which point Dirk would refer to the time he told Dave he was tired and let Dave tuck him in.

But fine, the other thing. So be it.]

Do you want to learn about AIs and nanites and help me?