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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

The stock market was run by crocodiles, it wasn't exactly rocket science.

[ dave disagrees with this assessment, although admittedly he tends to disagree with most positive assessments of himself unless...tricked into it like dirk, sometimes? wow. at least he used to pretend to believe the positive assessments of himself and talked them up, back when he was thirteen. ]

I mean, some monster movies deliver for a given value of deliver? But I guess it's hard to name one that has monster-to-monster combat that's, like, stellar?

[splinten]

You're completely ignoring the kind of mental mathematics you had to do, dude.

[Dirk knows what he sees. Dave is smart. He will fight on this.]

My theory is that the lake of a real sense of scale through the human perspective diminishes all monster vs monster fights.

[parodeity]

That wasn't anythin' special. It wasn't, like, calculus.

[ dave will fight back? though there's literally no ire in his tone. it's matter-of-fact. ]

I think that's bullshit. You could totally make a good monster vs monster movie, you just, like...have to give them maybe more backstory, I guess? And like...well that might diminish the monster movie genre cliches?

[splinten]

It was advanced statistics mentally computing numbers at a level very few people are capable of.

[So it's good.]

How would you do a monster vs monster movie?

[parodeity]

That's just time player shit.

[ real questions: does caliborn do this kind of math ]

Like, here? Probably claymation would be cool to do.

[splinten]

It's more than that. You adapt quickly to new circumstances and acquire new skills and knowledge fast.

[that means rereading caliborn's sections and i won't do it]

That'd be cool. I think the loss of practical special effects really hurt the industry.

[parodeity]

Not the kinda fast that'd match up to you.

[ he will keep up this calm debate? ]

I like oldschool special effects. Besides, I'd kill it at stop motion shit.

[ he is. really good at remembering how things should be in a given scene and like

time powers

yeah ]

[splinten]

You're already better at math than I am. Why wouldn't you catch up to me in tech while I catch up to you in math?

[He worries about having this debate right now but he is. Really bad at letting people be Wrong.

Dirk sucks.]

Would you give the monsters backstories?

[parodeity]

[ dirk gets a blank stare. what. ]

I'm not better at math than you?

[ sounds fake? ]

And yeah, probably. But not like...easily understood ones. They gotta be mysterious. Just enough to go on so you can fill in the blanks yourself, you know?

[splinten]

[There's a pause.]

You are? Is this like you not realizin' you're faster than me.

[It keeps happening.]

I follow. Any in mind?

[parodeity]

Since when? You knew math shit I didn't when we went through those textbooks.

[ still sounds fake ]

Yeah. A few. I'd have to give it more thought, but probably I'd draw from shit I know.

[splinten]

You knew math shit I didn't. The math I know is just the stuff I integrate into my computing and technology things.

[this is a silly debate.]

Can I hear one?

[parodeity]

Which requires, like, smart-person math. Not street-person math.

[ continuing the silly debate. ]

I think it'd be more impactful if you saw it.

[splinten]

People on the street cannot do your math.

[Why won't Dave believe him. He knows why but why.]

...You're gonna make it?

[dirk don't sound so excited]

[parodeity]

Do you wanna call up everyone we know, 'cause I'm sure they can.

[ .............

well, maybe not john? sorry john ]

It ain't like I got a whole lot else on my plate aside from, like, farmin' and tryin' to teach the Kharaa to chill the fuck out. Which...I guess includes healin' the huge sick fish now, somehow? But it probably wouldn't be, like, that great. It'd be an ok way to kill time though.

[splinten]

We don't know people on the street. We know freaks of nature and weirdos. We are basically the least representative sample imaginable.

[yeah not john though]

I want to see it.

[HE REALLY WANTS TO SEE IT]

[parodeity]

Right, who are all better at math than me, so there you go.

[ he wins!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok but realistically dave is. probably better at math than a lot of them. not science? but math. ]

I think you're gettin' your hopes up on quality here.

[splinten]

No, they aren't. [Like. They aren't?] You're definitely better at math than John, Rose, Kanaya, and Karkat. I'd bet you're better than Jake and Jade. You'd also have me and Roxy beat. None of us are idiots. [...Well.] Okay, maybe John and the trolls aren't as intellectually-minded. But Rose's thing is arts and humanities, and Jake and Jade are into sciences. Me and Roxy do tech and mechanics.

You're also totally glossing over what I think is your best quality, in terms of intelligence, which is your creativity and adaptability. You're maybe the most creative dude I know.

[Which leads us to—]

My hopes are fine. I want to see your movie.

[parodeity]

But on that list like three or four people can do rocket science, you realize.

[ that's. the only defensive he can come up with because honestly, he's never even considered the remote possibility he might be better at a book-thing than anyone else except maybe. john? the fighting thing he's considered but powers complicate things - he's sure rose could kick his ass with her magic bullshit if she tried, and has never contemplated what adding his powers would be like, john's a fucking op menace, jade is even worse. dirk he can just about handle but it's not like that's a cakewalk. ]

Maybe? You always see a little too much.

[splinten]

People who develop expertise in a field get really good at that field, but that doesn't automatically transfer over to other fields. A rocket scientist can't do brain surgery. Unless they're a rocket scientist brain surgeon, which would be cool, but that would only happen if they also studied rocket science. We're all reasonably adept in the areas we've decided to work on, but I'm pretty sure none of us have mastered the kind of math you do like it's nothin'. I know I can't.

[If he practiced, maybe, but he can't juggle those huge numbers the way Dave did. That was something he exported to AR because a computer could.]

Do you not want me to watch it?

[parodeity]

It's just...stuff I have to be able to do, though. It still doesn't translate to the kind of smarts I admire you for havin', was my point. Before, like, we started debatin' it.

[ he thinks that was his point, anyway. dave considers the question and shifts a little, arms crossing over his chest as he tips his head back against the couch. ]

Dunno. You're the only person who ever questioned me about "are you next".

[splinten]

My point is that it is the same kind of intelligence, and it will translate to practically applicable knowledge more and more if you decide to pursue that line of education.

[Hm. Well. For this at least, Dave sort of has a point.]

Sorry. I kinda got into the habit of tryin' to read someone through the lens of their work. I can try to turn the metaphorical blinders on for you if that's what you want. Mostly, I just enjoy the things you create more than anything else so I like to think about them a lot.

[parodeity]

I don't think that's an offer you can actually carry through with.

[ it's dirk. he lives to overanalyze??? ]

But it wasn't a complaint so much as I don't know what I'd want to say. I'd have to think about it when I was more sure. [ and he isn't sure if it'd be something he'd want dirk to see or not. ] If you want to know about that ever I can probably tell you.

[splinten]

Sort of, but sort of not. Like how if I look at a vehicle, I can't not think about how it works and what parts it probably has, but I'm not actually going to know in more detail until I get inside. My offer was to refrain from trying to go under the metaphorical hood.

[That said, he briefly squeezes Dave's hand before letting go.]

Sure thing, though. Just let me know.

[He can stay away from it if Dave wants. He's understanding even, because he does understand. He hates himself a little for ruining good things for them both by seeing these things, and there's that stupid desperate clingy instinct but he tells that instinct to calm down because Dave needs space and privacy and if one version of Dirk Strider wouldn't give it, then he damn well owes it to let Dave have it now.]

[parodeity]

I meant about the Halloween special.

[ to clarify.

the brief hand holding and hand squeeze doesn't really get much in return but dave doesn't, like, fight it? so. ]