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[parodeity]

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[splinten]

I had a feelin' he would. I also knew that that would be the exact point at which he'd never get a straight answer.

[parodeity]

Like, too quick as in said my name and demanded one off the bat. How could I not give him a hard time?

[ he is only human. and like godtier whatever ]

[splinten]

There's somethin' to be said for havin' mercy.

[Then why did Dirk send him to Dave.]

[parodeity]

Says the guy who sent a dude to get a straight answer from me.

[ it's not like dave is under any illusions he's a disaster conversationally? and also, dirk knows about his internet troll impulses. ]

[splinten]

I gave him a chance.

[yuri COULD have possibly succeeded]

[parodeity]

What were you gonna do if he won, anyway. I'm pretty sure the guy wanted you to summon seals with like, mermaid magic?

[ ?????????????????? yuri ]

[splinten]

We apparently have alien seals around. I was just going to ask the girl who mention them to me where they were, and take him to them.

I hadn't decided if I'd asked Sanson to look into genetically modifying me into a mermaid for the sake of that moment.

[parodeity]

You'd be locked out of livin' on land if you went that far for a joke.

[ not that this means dirk Would Not, but. ]

Didn't know about the seals. That would be cool to see, I guess. I'll look around.

[splinten]

Max Caulfield mentioned them to me. The locations are probably in the database.

[parodeity]

Maybe I'll make a day trip out of it or somethin' post makin' a post. I can take a ball and teach them to balance it adorably on their noses.

[splinten]

That would be adorable as hell. The planet absolutely would consider it a great service to the ecosystem.

[parodeity]

Lbr [ STOP ACRONYMING OUT LOUD CHRIST ] I peaked at farmin' and everythin' else is just me fuckin' around for the hell of it.

[splinten]

I'd buy that, except you are literally our primary ambassador to a race of alien hivemind conquerers.

[parodeity]

That's more me just bein' their friend. And apparently the planet will fuckin' lose it at them and us if we don't fix the sick fish.

[ it's one of the many things he's concerned about but Unsure what to do with. he's not a healer? ]

[splinten]

All of them or just the Emperor and the Dragon?

[parodeity]

Rose didn't specify. We just have to fix who's sick, or they all fuckin' die. Probs I would not do so hot there either since it ain't like I didn't help 'em with everything at this point.

[ but that is less important than the whole kharaa obliteration thing. ]

[splinten]

Okay. That's gettin' reprioritized. [He wants to make a public broadcast RIGHT NOW demanding everyone FIX THOSE SICK FISH DAMMIT which Dave can possibly tell from, you know, Dirk being Dirk and actually an open book to Dave.]

[parodeity]

I would've mentioned her vision sooner but like right after she had it the whole idiotic language thing occurred.

[ he was not gonna mime it. ]

[splinten]

It's not a problem. We'll just double down now.

[he knows he can't leap out of the couch and save all the fish right now all on his own

but he wants to]

[parodeity]

...Chill, dude, you ain't a doctor either. Rose'll say if it's an immediate concern, just...I don't think anyone should mention the Kharaa to the planet 'till we fix shit.

[ maybe. ]

[splinten]

Agreed. [The second part, obviously, because—] I can gather fish for study. There are probably medical things we can teach ourselves to help out. There might be a way for the Heart thing to work the way it did with Kharaa infection although the disease may not apply.

[the planet might go after dave]

[parodeity]

[ ok maybe he should have left out the part where he figures he'd be in trouble with the planet. that may have been a miscalculation. ]

Dunno? I never offered to like...see what was up with them. When they got sick.

[splinten]

We can resume work on that kind of thing. Sorey was doing work on it, I know. I'd always figured I'd eventually end up having to handle ISHMAEL but this is more urgent.

[Nothing about it is more urgent except it now directly threatens Dave.]

[parodeity]

Uh, I'm pretty sure the potentially murderous AI ranks higher on the list of concerns?

[ dirk, reprioritize ]

[splinten]

Not against a potentially murderous planet.

[...that wants to kill his brother]