parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 3.0;

My biology knowledge covers what I thought I'd need to know to keep myself alive, both in terms of combat and living on my own.

[If Dave's going to close his eyes, Dirk will, too. He curls closer to him.]

Since you were buildin' people random prosthetics, I assumed it'd be more than that.

[ dave won't shove him away, at least? he's still not, like, explaining anything about why he woke up apparently on his own or what he thinks he's doing, but it probably was just a nightmare. ]

[Dave said he wasn't fine; it might be too much for one night to say more. Dirk hasn't decided if he'll ask or not, but he thinks this kind of idle talk won't hurt.]

I looked up what the knee bone was attached to before I started on that. Information like that, I tend to learn as it comes up.

Do you actually know what to do if someone loses a limb in front of you?

[ it's an important life skill

especially if the limb is like a head and you hang out with dirk ]

Assumin' no immediate healing abilities, slow blood loss with pressure and possibly a tourniquet, plus raising the limb. Keep them from going into shock, keep them breathing, and so on.

[Also look sometimes a person loses their head and this isn't. a fair comment to make?]

That one was potential Sburb research. In truth, my biggest fear was something like that happening to one of my friends before the game started.

[The Batterwitch's assassination efforts. Jake's monsters. Roxy in the same hellhole Earth he knew. All of them entirely out of reach, except for what intermediaries he could send them in the form of his robots.]

I guess I never had to worry 'bout that. None of them were ever gonna get that injured. Most damage that ever got done before the game was meteors, and that wasn't really "before".

[ the only person in danger of that sort of shit was pretty much dave. none of bro's cuts had ever been that deep. it'd been a minor concern of his for years, but it'd never worked up into a fullblown fear.

if it happened, it'd happen. whatever. ]

The helplessness was not my favourite thing. For an ironic twist, it felt to me like the Strider was the safest of us. [The opposite of Beta kid situation.]

What'd that feel like?

[ being like. safe. dave's mouth twists after a second. ]

Stupid question. Nevermind.

[Hm. Dirk doesn't immediately answer; he's mulling it over.]

I don't know that I ever felt it right, then. There was still always the risk of things going wrong for me that no one could help me with. If anything, I felt guilty being relatively safe when Jane had assassination attempts on the regular and Jake couldn't step outside his room without encountering monsters. I never really felt a real experience of safety until Iniidae, where admittedly it can be touch-and-go. If I compare how I feel right here, though, to how I felt there, right now blows back then out of the lusii-infested waters.

I guess we only had the one assassination attempt. On Derse, I mean. Although I am pretty sure you mean IRL assassination attempts? And we took care of that dude.

[ That Dude made the mistake of trying to fucking assassinate rose while dave was within range. even if he hadn't been, that probably wouldn't have ended so well for the chess guy. ]

Yeah, the Condesce periodically tried to assassinate Jane. Other people did too, but the Condesce was the one Rox and me worried most about. [Even though the Batterwitch needed Jane alive to play the game, and therefore it couldn't fully succeed, it could succeed enough to be dangerous.] We had Dersite assassination attempts from her later, right before game start. They actually got Jake, but Jane managed to get away. They couldn't find Roxy, and I took out the one sent to kill me.

Uhhhh. Yeah, I guess I was the only one in constant mortal peril pre-game, and then John was like, the one who got into the shit constantly during the game by virtue of wanderin' the fuck off on his own to do dumb shit a lot? Jade lived alone but she had her dog who I guess was the guardian of our universe or somethin' and also omnipotent, so it's not like anythin' ever happened to her really.

[ monster-wise. ]

And our Derse was like, whatever. No one did jack shit until we were around to handle it. But I guess that could have gone poorly for 'em since at least two of us were awake super early and Rose wouldn't have been that hard to wake up.

[Dirk thinks about the dog that the Condesce apparently killed, the one that Jake's Grandma had loved. He decides not to think about it; their universe had that weirdass cat and that was enough.]

The Derse treatment of their players always seemed pretty bizarre to me. Like, the weird mix of adulation for their sleeping royalty and commitment to killing us some time later. And why did the game have a set up of Derse versus Prospit and then dump half its players on the eventual enemy moon anyway? What did that even give us anyway? Maybe I'm missing the point for lack of a properly played game, but it seems entirely pointless.

Ehh. We kind of like, skipped our politics shit, on the grounds we instead broke the game to fuckin' hell, but the politics were important. We skipped our Reckoning entirely, but also, Jack killed like.......all our royalty, soooooo. The trolls had it nearer to the damn purpose, which was like, you all build your houses up to your gates - check - do the denizen shit - semi-check - do the frog breeding - check plus - then you gotta confront, like the Black Queen and King who should have their ring thingies and after that you get to the platform, but like, again: we skipped through most of that shit at the tail end and wouldn't have been able to do it anyway, on account of all the random teleportation murder.

[ jack killed a lot of people that sure was a fucking thing ]

All of that makes a certain amount of cohesive sense in terms of personal journeys, self-discoveries, shapin' us into Gods. Right up until the politics of the moons, which just comes off as arbitrary and without nuance. Anything else could have been substituted in there, and I guess in the case of the final battle it mostly was.

I'd really like to give that game a bad review. [HE THINKS ABOUT IT A LOT. HE HAS SO MANY CRITIQUES. He wants to sit with Rose and her GameFAQ and just wreck it.]

Can't think of a single damn person who'd stop you. Have at it.

[ did anyone actually enjoy their gaming experience? ]

We'd manage to make a better game.

[It may be a bad game they'd make, but it'd be better.]

First step there is not botherin'.

[ who wants to play any more life-altering games? not dave. ]

I told you I'm doin' shit with Rose tomorrow, right. She wants an office.

[ he's labor. it's as decent an excuse as any to avoid being home, but also, he promised he'd be labor for this exact thing whenever she got around to it months ago. ]

You did.

[Among other things he tossed at Dirk, things that shouldn't have hurt and normally wouldn't, but things that thudded dull against his chest now. He opens his eyes.]

You aren't fine.

She probably won't murder me and hide the body or anythin'. Though she may make me lie on a couch and tell her about my dreams.

[ deflection is second nature. dave had spent years making jokes about shit just so he never had to address it or think about the things he actually thought.

his kneejerk reaction is to say he is fine, but he already admitted he wasn't. ]

I will be. [ maybe, probably, someday. it was hard enough to say the "i'm not" part. ]

That falls under 'worse than murder.'

[Not really. Not when it's Rose. But.

Dirk is quiet again. Trying to find a way to put it right.]

If you can tell me... I'll try not to make it worse. I can just stay quiet and listen if you want.

I had that marionette dream again. Except instead of gettin' tangled up in threads and not bein' able to move at all, the strings were cut, and there was nowhere to go.

[ it's not the worst nightmare he's ever had. ]

They were cut on purpose, I mean. Then I was just kinda left there, in the dark, and I couldn't move.

[ not really what dirk was asking for, probably. ]

[It isn't what he was asking for, but it isn't the opposite of it either.]

That's a shitty dream.

[He would hate it. Cut strings, solitude, darkness. Still and quiet and helpless and alone.]

Eh. The worst part was wishin' it'd just start up again, the puppeteering, because at least then I wouldn't be - you know.

[ some abandoned wooden toy in the dark. at least it'd be something. ]

I've had way worse.

An Everest of shit does not make the Rockies any less made of crap.

[A phrase is at the back of his throat. I promise. I promise to be here for you, I promise never to abandon you. I promise not to make you a puppet, I promise to protect you to care about you to stay.

Dave asked him not to make promises but there are so many he wants to. And of course he'll fail at them. He is so good at failing. And how can he ask Dave to trust him if he so often fails?]

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