parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 3.0;

You suck and I hate you.

[ a wry return before dave grumbles, rolls onto his back so he doesn't have to look at dirk's Smug Face which isn't even smug. ]

Not actually. Except the first half.

Not arguin' with that.

[He does, in fact, suck. It is a truth about Dirk Strider and he would be the first to own up to it.]

You agreein' with mean shit I say to you takes literally all the fun out of it.

[ not that it's like the reason he exists or that he even says things that are that mean on the regular. probably if he did more than half-hearted insults when irritated he'd get more of a fight in return? ]

For the record that is a way in which you suck.

[ this isn't even actually true since dave generally is fine without pointless bickering? ]

Not what I'd put top of the list, but sure.

[Honestly, Dirk finds it funniest to agree and then watch Dave get more petulant.]

[ there is a reason this annoys him, and it is: ]

You need to stop copyin' my playbook, holy shit.

[ HE PULLED THIS ON PEOPLE ALL THE TIME and still does tbh but no one ever pulled it on him until dirk? this is bullshit? like rose would edge close to it but mostly if he gave her a hard time she'd throw it back in his face, not just agree ]

Sorry to disappoint you, bro, but this is something they call 'convergent evolution.' These moves are self-taught.

[Well, as much as that's true about anything. But it was a very effective way to deal with their particular aliens, and anything else.]

They were my moves first, so therefore they were stolen.

[ since he's pretty sure bro never did this shit to anyone since --> bro. ]

As soon as we meet up with Pyrope again I'm hirin' her to sue you for plagiarism. She will get me everythin' in the settlement, and also possibly hang you and eat a box of chalk in the process?

You'll have to get me to show up for legal proceedings first. And since I have no interest in the corrupted institutions of a rotted society, I think I'll take a hard pass.

[fuck da clown police 2422 or whatever]

[ ok but ]

What if I said please?

[ he's never sure how far that goes. for things that are complete jokes, though? dave will waste the effort on that. just not in a serious situation. ]

[...]

I'll see you in court.

[instant ko]

[ dave is still not sure why the fuck that works. ]

Idk how manners negate the corrupted institutions of a rotted society bein' a thing.

[ it is probably more along the lines of dave actually bothering to ask for something, but he's decided it's clearly the "please" that worked. ]

[jfc dave]

Yes. Manners. Clearly, it's manners that sway me when push comes to shove. I'm a sucker for a well-used cutlery set.

Do you think we need a cutlery set?

[ not because of the manners thing just because he literally never considered it before just this moment, and now that the thought exists it's a perfect time to discuss it? ]

Or like. Shit what else do sophisticated people even have in their houses. An iron is still a thing that needs to exist, but like...ok this isn't even a thing but I just keep thinkin' of those rotary phones. Why is that what comes to mind when I try to think "sophistication".

I can't pin it to a specific movie, but archaisms often carry cultural prestige in the form of the refusal to update. The traditional, if done at the right time and the right way, moves a person outside of the post-Industrial Revolution market of constant improvement and development, and maintains a connection of tradition that implies old money and old power. It only works with certain kinds of symbols, obviously. You probably weren't imagining a neon pink rotary phone. But if the phone you imagined was already designed for appeal to the upper classes, then the distance in terms of technological advancement allows it to become a status symbol.

No like one of those like gold filigree ones with the like ivory numbers on the rotary dial. With the really thin tapering part between the two big bells?

[ this is not actually important? ]

Are you tryin' to say there is some cultural prestige to dumb shit you do just to refuse to update yourself.

I figured it'd be something like that. [one that already looks fancy.] And no, I'm not saying that it happens just if you decide to not update. You have to have the financial ability and intellectual competence to update, first of all. A certain amount of time is needed before the prestige comes in, also. For a less prestigious example, a poloroid camera was the new thing, and then it was old news. At a certain point, though, it became an object of value again because technology had already moved so far past it. The same could be said for typewriters. It's the bizarre kind of prestige that comes out of uselessness. Uselessness, a specific type of uselessness, can be seen as the ultimate signifier of prestige because of the power required. It's the power in not needing to make everything useful or contemporary, the power of not being beholden to that kind of worldly demand.

Ok, so what we're sayin' is that I could definitely start a cultural prestige trend but you could not. Because of the whole, like, finances and time shit that I can for sure sink into a thing.

[ that is not what dirk is saying but that is what dave is choosing to say. ]

I never got to work with poloroids really but I think it would be fun. Not because, like, of cultural prestige, but because you'd have to get the shot right the first time and you can see if you did straight away. Like - digital cameras make that obsolete, but if I had my druthers I'd have an analog SLR instead. But like, there's a certain feel to poloroid photography I don't think you can really like, replicate fully - like picture booths at malls or whatever. There's a tone and you can mimic it, but you can't get it exact except in the chosen media, y'know? There's just somethin' special about it. And maybe that's why it became the new thing or whatever. Sure your reasons came into it, but I think that it was a new thing also because like - you know, there's just feelings and shit you can't duplicate or update.

[ it's a rambling circle of thoughts with no real direction, but dave doesn't frequently feel the need to absolutely have a point. oops. ]

Fuck typewriters though who has the time to white out every single mistake they make?

There's a value to the physical experience of things too. That's come up more and more as digital culture advances: the value of analog. It's the weird physical satisfaction of holding a book instead of putting it on a device.

[Dirk guesses he'll have to make Dave a poloroid camera then?]

I couldn't start a trend because the context doesn't work for me. Literally anything that made it 400 years post-apocalypse is a fuckin' treasure from my perspective.

Rose'd be more help there. I never much cared what form I read shit in, but she, you know, has opinions. But if we're still talkin' photography? Yeah, I can agree. There's an element you miss when you just do it all digitally. It was, like, relaxin' to develop the film on my own. Kind of fucked it up the first time or so before I got the hang of spooling the film right and then there's the whole, like, chemicals shit and how you decide to develop it and you can get it too dark or too light and make so many mistakes that computers can catch for you. But the thing about photography, and music, and a lot of other shit like that? The thing is, in those realms mistakes aren't always wrong. They can enhance what you're doin' or be the focal point or just be part of it. Sometimes you want to develop shit just a little bit wrong because that's how it makes whatever you're lookin' at work. Maybe it's how you see things and other people can't see it 'till it's a little bit off, you know?

[ apparently

dave has a lot of feelings about photography ]

Your trend thing doesn't work as an argument any longer on account of you can start them now 'cause no more apocalypse. Well, not currently anyway. Any more than usual.

[Dave, did you know you were just Deep about photography and music.]

Yeah. I know.

[Definitely making him camera stuff. Which, on that point.]

Which room are we going to make the dark room?

[ no fuck off he does it Ironically and his sincere enjoyment and interest is like

ironic

or something ]

What? I don't have anythin' that'd need that. Still no more certain on how to make chemicals from scratch than I was last time you asked me that, dude.

[ but he will discuss it because at least it isn't discussing anything else? ]

Anyway I can do all that in a closet.

We can look it pretty easily, bro.

[Dirk shuffles closer to him again, hugs him. His arms move around him, he tucks Dave's head under his chin.]

I accept that proposal.

To the closet thing? Obviously you do since that's how I did it for like, ever.

[ he is Not asking for a dark room? or actually any of the cameras he's mentioned oops.

ok dirk is doing his koala thing again and dave just. lets it happen. this is his life now ]

No. To Tuesday nights.

[Thus why he koalad.]

I didn't propose it.

[ or agree to it? the thing he apparently fairly obviously wants and that dirk has agreed to multiple times. that is a thing he definitely did not agree to?

it's so unfair and he's back to frowning because how could he ever? ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject