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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

But you were tryin' to persuade me.

[ look. he just had to know it was a tactic, honest or not, because it felt like one and he had to prod it accordingly. ]

Your accent has been gettin' worse this entire talk.

[ that's unrelated to anything else. ]

[splinten]

Persuade, sure, but it isn't—manipulative. [He thinks? No. He can't doubt it.] It's manipulative only if telling the truth about how we feel it is manipulative. And we agreed it isn't, so unless you want to retract on that.

I have been tryin' to get you to listen. [Beat.] Trying. Now you're criticizing how I'm saying things. [Leave him alone??]

[parodeity]

Wait, wait, wait. Do you do our accent worse when you're tryin' to get me to pay attention to you?

[ and now he just sounds amused. he completely ditched the first topic - he doesn't think it's manipulative so much as it's a fair move in a fight? - because this is suddenly more important. ]

[splinten]

No. [Wait. Does he?] ...I don't know.

[Maybe? It just. Happens sometimes?]

That isn't important. I just do it sometimes.

2/2

[splinten]

[wait he gets it]

I meant that the point of what I've said is to get you to actually hear what I've been saying, not that my accent is for that.

COPY PASTES THIS OVER

[parodeity]

[ this is completely the most important thing in the universe suddenly because it's hilarious ]

No, you do it a lot of the times. When we start talkin' and things are gettin' tense or you're arguin' a point you start slippin' up even though you start all not droppin' letters and shit. It ain't a one-time thing or even a sometimes thing.

[ at least dirk isn't saying "ain't" yet. regularly. ]

But it's not slippin' like I slip 'cause that's not the natural slippage, is it? So it's a thing you do at least subconsciously on purpose.

sometimes the keywords are special

[splinten]

No? [Probably not? Shit.] I don't know. I've never given any attention to it. [wait. Wait, HEY.] You said before that I drop the accent when I'm upset. [So??? He doesn't do this???]

[parodeity]

Yeah but you're not upset upset right now, you're tryin' to get my attention upset, that's two different varieties of upset.

[ now dave's actually just

laughing

which he hasn't done straight up in a few days but of course it's AT dirk rather than, like, with him ]

[splinten]

[It is Dirk's turn to put a pillow on Dave. This time he just straight-up pulls back to drop it on Dave's head.]

[parodeity]

[ even laughing he can still block it about as easily as dirk blocked his own pillow attack attempt? so? ]

Do you do it with other people or just me??

[splinten]

I don't know! It—[THERE IS A MICROSECOND PAUSE]—isn't as if anyone else has ever commented on something as stupid and pointless as this.

[parodeity]

[ dave grins. it's the genuine one. ]

You were gonna say ain't.

[splinten]

[FUCK YOU?]

Do you agree to the proposal or not?

[parodeity]

Were you gonna say ain't or not?

[ THESE TOPICS ARE UNRELATED, SUPPOSEDLY? ]

[splinten]

Why does that matter? 'Ain't as if' doesn't even sound right. [Because the phrasing he was going to use was 'ain't like.']

[parodeity]

'Cause I'm not gonna give you an answer 'till you spill.

[ dave ]

[splinten]

[UGH]

Yeah, I was! Okay? I was gonna say ain't.

[parodeity]

[ he wins

although

he has to give an answer now so he loses? uh. dave didn't totally think this one through.

he still wins, though. ]

I love you. [ that also has nothing to do with the topic. it's just said with amused contentment because the other shit they've been talking about aside it's hilarious to watch dirk get progressively more annoyed about being called out on his accent.

the other stuff still kind of matters, though. dave still doesn't feel like he's allowed to say yes, but. ]

Okay.

[splinten]

[Wait. What.]

You're done accusing me about my accent.

[Is that what the 'okay' is for.]

[parodeity]

Oh, no chance in hell. I'm not droppin' that ever.

[ like. that's going to be a thing for the rest of eternity if they stick around together for that long? sorry? ]

[splinten]

You said okay.

[You can't keep attacking him after the okay!!]

[parodeity]

Yeah, but not to that. I'm literally never droppin' it. Ever.

[ HE WILL MOCK YOU ABOUT THIS TO HIS DYING DAY and then the dying day after that, probably. ]

[splinten]

Then to what.

[Wait.]

Tuesday.

[parodeity]

[ the easy smile fades because this is anything but easy. dave's fairly certain that the next time it doesn't work out he'll be even worse off. but there was no way dirk honestly wanting it wasn't going to work on some level.

it helps that dave desperately wants to say (no) yes. ]

Yeah.

[splinten]

[There is relief. It is followed by fear.]

I don't want to manipulate you. I can... Was it manipulative? You don't have to say yes to me when I do things like that.