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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

[ even laughing he can still block it about as easily as dirk blocked his own pillow attack attempt? so? ]

Do you do it with other people or just me??

[splinten]

I don't know! It—[THERE IS A MICROSECOND PAUSE]—isn't as if anyone else has ever commented on something as stupid and pointless as this.

[parodeity]

[ dave grins. it's the genuine one. ]

You were gonna say ain't.

[splinten]

[FUCK YOU?]

Do you agree to the proposal or not?

[parodeity]

Were you gonna say ain't or not?

[ THESE TOPICS ARE UNRELATED, SUPPOSEDLY? ]

[splinten]

Why does that matter? 'Ain't as if' doesn't even sound right. [Because the phrasing he was going to use was 'ain't like.']

[parodeity]

'Cause I'm not gonna give you an answer 'till you spill.

[ dave ]

[splinten]

[UGH]

Yeah, I was! Okay? I was gonna say ain't.

[parodeity]

[ he wins

although

he has to give an answer now so he loses? uh. dave didn't totally think this one through.

he still wins, though. ]

I love you. [ that also has nothing to do with the topic. it's just said with amused contentment because the other shit they've been talking about aside it's hilarious to watch dirk get progressively more annoyed about being called out on his accent.

the other stuff still kind of matters, though. dave still doesn't feel like he's allowed to say yes, but. ]

Okay.

[splinten]

[Wait. What.]

You're done accusing me about my accent.

[Is that what the 'okay' is for.]

[parodeity]

Oh, no chance in hell. I'm not droppin' that ever.

[ like. that's going to be a thing for the rest of eternity if they stick around together for that long? sorry? ]

[splinten]

You said okay.

[You can't keep attacking him after the okay!!]

[parodeity]

Yeah, but not to that. I'm literally never droppin' it. Ever.

[ HE WILL MOCK YOU ABOUT THIS TO HIS DYING DAY and then the dying day after that, probably. ]

[splinten]

Then to what.

[Wait.]

Tuesday.

[parodeity]

[ the easy smile fades because this is anything but easy. dave's fairly certain that the next time it doesn't work out he'll be even worse off. but there was no way dirk honestly wanting it wasn't going to work on some level.

it helps that dave desperately wants to say (no) yes. ]

Yeah.

[splinten]

[There is relief. It is followed by fear.]

I don't want to manipulate you. I can... Was it manipulative? You don't have to say yes to me when I do things like that.

[parodeity]

[ okay, he should have expected that. dave sighs, leans into the hug a little more. it was probably a little manipulative, but no more or less than dave at his worst in a fight. ]

Sometimes, [ how to even make it make sense? ] sometimes I need to be cornered, I think. I want - I can't ask for what I want. I'm sorry. Thanks for doin' it for me.

[splinten]

[There's still the worry. He knows what he's capable of. He knows what he can do.]

You're sure, then.

[That might be a little ambiguous, but he actually means if Dave's sure it's okay Dirk did that. (Leaning into the hug does help.)]

[parodeity]

[ leaning into the hug stops helping because dave will pull back now so he can actually see dirk. Air more importantly, so dirk can see him. his gaze is steady and there's no waver in expression, even if he's neutral tired. it's not a mask. ]

Look. You'd be able to tell if I wasn't. Right?

[ dirk can apparently recognize bro's expression, and he knows how dave gets when he pulls back. ]

[splinten]

[There. It is an expression. Neutral and tired but not a mask.]

I don't want to be... a worse version of me. Most of all with you.

[He doesn't want to be manipulative, controlling, selfish. Heartless.]

If you're sure what I said was okay, then I'm okay.

[Tell him he isn't a monster.]

[parodeity]

It wasn't somethin' he would have said.

[ he's not really sure what to do here, so dave just kind of. reaches up to do the hair parting thing again. it worked last time. ]

It's somethin' I would have said. You're just a you version of you. I'm not upset.

[splinten]

[Well okay, guess that's a thing now. Dirk does not complain, but he is watching what Dave says.]

Okay.

[It isn't Bro. Maybe it isn't the best thing. But it helped Dave when he couldn't help himself. And... that counts for something. Doesn't it?

He closes his eyes.]

Okay.

[parodeity]

It's what I needed you to say.

[ mark two attempt at helping. dirk didn't even halfway complain about his hair so he can't possibly be okay? ]

It's okay. I'm sorry I made you say it.

[splinten]

I'm sorry I'm the sort of person to say it, but also I'm not because it helped.

[Which. Yeah. He doesn't know if not feeling all that bad about it is worse than doing it.]

You sure I'm not Slytherin?

[Ruthless. Selfish. (Bad.)]

I genuinely believe that one day, we won't be this insecure. It's just... gonna take a lot of time and work for both of us.

[parodeity]

Even if you were, who the fuck cares? That's not like sayin' you're evil, idiot. I'm pretty fuckin' sure Rose would be in Slytherin. Cunnin' and ambition are not inherently evil traits. Terrifying when applied to the light-of-my-life, but not evil.

[ which he thinks is the concern here? ]

I'm pretty sure the whole thing about the hat was that your opinion mattered too, wasn't it? So. Be whatever the fuck nonsense house sorting you wanna be, dude. I for one plan to keep out of the rivalry houses.