parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 3.0;

And you mean that how, exactly.

[ he's trying to figure out if dirk misunderstood what he just said or not. ]

[Why does it feel like he's about to be scolded.]

I mean that it should be possible for me to learn how to block it from taking over people. If I encountered it more, learned how to fight off its effects, I could maybe take it. A God of Heart should be able to handle a planet's soul.

[But he isn't good enough to stand between them and it.]

You missed my meanin'. Rose heard the song. I was sayin' if we learned to overcome that shit, we'd probably be better off.

[ however: examine the last time they fucked with the song. ]

Don't go pokin' the hornet's nest without a plan, dude.

[Oh. That.]

We... can try it. You can try it on me. I should be able to resist it easiest.

[Heart player and a sense of responsibility. This is what he's for.]

I'm not going. You've lectured me out of chasing down boss fights. [A Planet Soul: literally the biggest boss fight possible, let him do it, he wants to. He must resist.]

[ EYEBROWS RAISE. ]

So, to clarify, you're sayin' you'd be fine with me remixin' that shit and potentially settin' you on attack mode again.

[ like. they could also maybe do it the other way around but that sounds really fucking dangerous when dave regularly pulls his punches and doesn't actually try to hurt dirk in a strife. he uses his time abilities to annoy and confuse, never to actively harm. he's never frozen his brother in a strife. ]

It would have to be me, right? So it will be me.

[This is not the same as being fine with a thing; this is the same as Dirk deciding he needs to be decapitated to end a fight.]

You're not ok with that, though. It fucked you up last time.

[ which is specifically why dave never suggested it before ]

...But yeah, I would have to say we should maybe avoid makin' me actively fight you if I'm not there to spot-check myself.

[ he kept himself from freezing dirk the last time, with the kharaa. ]

[Dirk doesn't say anything immediately. He is trying to decide what is right, instead of what his impulses lean him towards. Eventually:]

Let me think about it. Then we can talk? It might... not be appropriate that I fuck myself up to try to do this. [Even though he wants to. But it's like Dave: he would break all his rib bones for an experiment, but he couldn't bear seeing it done to Dirk. Dirk couldn't accept Dave fucking himself up for an experiment.

So, he should think about it. Decide if he really can, or if he can't.]

Like I was gonna accept you sayin' "yes" without that. If you can't give me some pretty damn good reasons, we're not doin' it.

[ regardless of how certain dave is that he could keep dirk off his back for the time limit that'd existed last time. granted, he'd insist they be way far away from everyone else, and he'd have to remix the song, but.

it is by no means worth it if it hurts dirk, especially when they don't even know if it'll work. ]

There's no guarantee it's even a thing that could be a thing. If nothin' else, it might be worth it to start on the, uh, happier songs. We don't have to go a million miles an hour - though I don't know if those even worked on people. Didn't want to check.

[ mind control is not his favorite thing? ]

This is so not what we were originally arguin' about.

There's a bit of a gap, yeah.

[The ball is in Dave's field on that, though. Dirk was the last to try to make a point there.]

You're not usually the one to use a distraction technique.

[ yeah he

still isn't really comprehending this was a point in the whole. argument they were having? oops. ]

That wasn't a distraction.

[Dave. Oh my god. Dirk like. Actually looks blank at him for a moment.]

You think I'll choose other people over you. I'm telling you that I won't, and that I just did not do that exact thing. I promised not to spread information without your okay, even if I really wanted to. And I didn't. I wanted to tell people, especially Jake. It's been somethin' I've been uncomfortable sittin' on for a week now. But I chose to keep the promise I made to you on this.

I chose you, Dave.

[

oh. ]

I just assumed you would. [ tell people. dave didn't even bother to believe in the promise dirk had given him after the first time. that had never had anything to do with restoring any amount of his trust, if it even had been restored to any degree at all. he'd just worked around the lack, telling dirk whatever he thought he had to or needed to and not allowing himself to consider where it might end up.

maybe he should start thinking about it again. ]

My first thought is I shouldn't've told you, because it's upsettin' you to know and not tell. [ may as well just say exactly what comes to mind. ]

I'd rather have your trust than comfortable ignorance.

[No hesitation.]

That's the choice I made. I don't regret it.

It's not like that's a necessary component to me tellin' people shit.

[ he can force himself to share certain things even without it. it's how he treats a lot of his updates on day-to-day shit. ]

I don't really want to sit through a scheduled amount of tolerated torture any more than you probably do.

I'm aware of that.

[Painfully, and often unhappily. He tries not to dwell on it too much; he knows it isn't good for him. It's like dwelling on Jake's hideously low self-esteem. He helps where he can but he really shouldn't torture himself with it.

Sometimes, he does anyway.]

I don't want to put you through torture either.

I meant you, dumbass.

[ in case that wasn't clear. obviously, the concern here should be for dirk having to sit through tolerated torture? not dave? ]

It's only torturous for me if you're being tortured.

[Because despite Dave's best efforts, Dirk tends to figure it out. And then it's agony.]

You misunderstand. You're uncomfortable not tellin' them about shit. Exactly how bad do you think it'd be to have to sit with me for a stupid movie night when one of them actually wanted or needed you somewhere?

[ which dave assumes dirk wouldn't be able to get through too much of before ditching, honestly, but. ]

[That is a different question. Dirk doesn't answer it in a stubborn retort; he listens, so that he can respond better. It's a habit he wants to be good at.] If they wanted me, they could wait a few hours. Not an issue. If they actually needed me, yeah, it'd be difficult. I won't deny that.

I doubt it would be more difficult than ditching my brother who needs me to stay with him.

I've never said I needed that.

[ about this. it's true maybe, or at least having that time set aside was helping and it meant a lot to dave and rose had said it was a good thing but he still hadn't told her he'd fucked that up even though he should. but.

it will be so much worse the second time, and dave can't believe there won't be one. next week or next month or a year or two from this moment. and maybe he'll be able to handle it better the second time around, but dave kind of doubts it. ]

I said it was a bad thing to rely on. [ essentially that he shouldn't rely on dirk At All, but. ]

You didn't say it. You also didn't say explicitly that you think it's bad to rely on me at all.

[But Dirk is good at reading between the lines.]

[ oh goddamnit okay he can't answer that one so dave veers to the left instead. ]

What do you want to do?

I want to help you understand how much you matter to me. I don't have any problem spending years working on that. It's a difficult thing, and I understand that.

[He kept his promise about sharing information to that end. He wants Dave's trust, but he wants Dave to believe Dirk cares about him even more. He'll keep any other promise he has to if that's what it will help make happen. He'll do it again and again and again, until maybe one day something like Valentine's being on a Tuesday will not shake Dave's faith in Dirk's affection.]

We agreed no unilateral decisions, so whatever we come up with, we have to agree on.

[It's why Dirk hasn't insisted on putting Dave first every night. It's a choice, but it's also one he can't force on Dave if Dave doesn't want to be in the position of being a sacrifice someone has to make for his sake.]

Just...stick to one problem. What do you want to do about this?

[ he thinks they're still arguing about tuesdays but it's hard to be sure. sometimes the topics seem to blur into the same old conversation, time and again. ]

What do you want? I won't...just say yes, so just tell me.

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