parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 3.0;

Could you?

[Important question. He elaborates:] You deserve better in terms of me being better at understanding things that are important to you. That is important to me.

Could I what? Keep that promise?

[ the elaboration did not help dave to understand what, specifically, dirk was questioning. ]

Yes. The way you were doing it, without timeloops.

[Could Dave keep the promise he wanted Dirk to keep.]

Well, yeah, but that's different.

[ obviously. ]

I wouldn't have the same roadblocks.

Why not? I'm not the only Strider with three best friends.

I told Rose and Jade and Vantas not to bug me from six on Tuesdays on.

[ a shrug. he didn't put it exactly like that. karkat he'd just informed he wouldn't take messages on tuesdays due to prior commitments, but rose at least knew the reasoning and he would have told jade, as well.

john...didn't have to be informed. ]

And none of them really have the same claim to my time that your best friends would on like, special occasions or random shit. I'd just rather not [ believe in you haha wow that sounds bad ] rely on somethin' I can't rely on.

[ wait that still sounds bad? ]

Nothin' personal.

[ nailed it.

no it still sounds bad ]

[Wait. What.

Dirk... kinda blanks for a second although not on the part Dave was worried about because yeah that knife has already gone in, he can't stab it twice when the blade's still deep. But.]

You mean you aren't dating any of them.

[He is pretty sure that is what Dave means.]

That's not it. I mean, yes, that's a factor, but I think Mom is kind of a special case, too?

[ since she's...

drunk rose districting on occasion and dirk's her main support there so far as dave's aware. ]

They might need you at any time outside of a schedule. My set is kind of [ waggles fingers ] I'm the most fucked up out of the four of us, they don't actually need me at random in general. Not that I'd ever ask them for help if I needed it whenever, either, so it works out somewhere probably. I mean, Rose would have, but she took me at my word and said she wouldn't and then told me to go the fuck away, possibly because I always choose to have these conversations with her at 3am.

[Okay, that's a somewhat different thing.]

You shouldn't hide things to your sister, you know.

[He knows Dave knows; it's a sort of default chiding. But okay, Dirk is... following the logic more.]

So you mean that my crew is sufficiently fucked up that an Alpha Kid Crisis could happen at any hour of any day. SOS, Trickster Juju On The Horizon.

[That is... not actually a bad point, he will admit. Dirk definitely has a deeply messed up friend group. But.]

That logic only works if you don't need me, and if I don't need you. We've established pretty clearly that you do need me, and you really missed what I was showing you if you think I don't need you. In that case, our prior claim to the hour takes priority. That further holds because the importance of a regular schedule is part of the need, whereas that isn't a specific need my friends have. [Although. Maybe he should schedule things like that with them? Maybe on Saturday when Dave is always busy. (Irony.)] Following the reasoning you've set out, we have an absolute right to each other's time at that hour that can't be beaten by alternative claims. I know you hate the idea of something for you being at another's expense, but it's also for my sake. It isn't like I can't go to Rox or Jake after we're done.

No, I definitely don't have that right. And on some holidays the whole dating thing actually would be more important, but also just. Your friends.

[ they're more important and dave isn't willing to pretend otherwise?

also, he scowls. ]

I didn't hide anythin' from Rose. I told her exactly why she couldn't bug me in that timeframe and she was annoyingly positive about it and assured me she could get by just fine without me from six to Wednesday morning, and then asked if I wasn't sure I didn't want to set aside more time to not bother her, possibly involvin' all the time she attempts to sleep durin' the night, at which point I took a hint.

[ SEE IF HE BOTHERS HER AT THREE AM EVER yeah no he probably bothered her at 3am the night right after that request. rose lalonde can never escape dave's early morning and late night texts. ]

I retract. Misunderstanding there. I thought it was about you being fucked up. [That is, he thought Dave said he wouldn't go to Rose for help, and Rose believed it.]

You do have that right.

[...

Yeah that's it. That's Dirk's argument.]

[ well like he wouldn't go to rose about some things, so, fair. but he was just explaining that rose wasn't an issue on his side since she basically told him to gtfo and add more time to the "bug anyone else but me" time.

rose is a loving sister. ]

No I don't.

[ now look here? ]

There's too many conflicts of interest, and I don't - I can't handle that happening again and again.

[ and losing, he means. ]

Yes, you do. It won't happen because I won't let it.

[Suck it up Dave, Dirk's committed for LIFE now. He is cranky and digging his heels in?

He even had an entire negotiation to work out here if Dave wouldn't accept sacrificing others for his sake but no, it's about the right, so now the possibility of negotiation is gone as Dirk Refuses.]

No, I don't. You can't just ignore the fact other people have way bigger claims on your time because you're bein' stubborn. Like, Christmas and birthdays and just them needing you for some unforeseen reason. You can't say you'll be there full stop.

[ well what if DAVE digs his heels in even further, because there was no way that wasn't gonna happen. ]

It'd absolutely happen again.

You need me, and I need you. It isn't difficult to work out where priority goes here.

[So there.]

You're not allowed to pick me over other people!

[ the "especially because you actually wouldn't" doesn't need to be said at this stage because it's unimportant, but also: ]

They need to be able to get you whenever they need you more than - whatever.

I'm allowed to pick whatever I want. That's the really awesome thing about being a living being with agency. I get to choose, and you get to be motherfuckin' Pikachu.

[Quality conversation with the Striders.]

You wouldn't.

[ dave doesn't raise his voice at all. ]

Eventually you wouldn't, and I don't think I'd be able to handle it. On like. Someone's birthday or Christmas or just a really bad day for someone else. Because I wouldn't want you to pick me and you wouldn't, so it'd even be what I'd want, but it'd still make me feel like nothing, and I hate that, okay?

[For a moment, Dirk is quiet. It isn't the quiet of injury; it's the quiet of letting go of the stubbornness. Shifting modes. And, gently, he takes back Dave's hand with his second.]

Making sure you never feel like nothing is important to me. I'd choose for that. Have done, though you've tried to push me back when I do. But that need, it's important. It's important to me to protect it.

[You protect me in the important ways. Dirk wants to do that. He wants to keep doing that. He wants to protect his brother's heart.]

Have to. I don't want anyone else to feel like that 'cause of me.

[ he'll avoid the pain when he can but if someone has to have it, dave will accept it without flinching.

so yeah, he never accepts dirk trying to choose him, not easily. that always means someone else isn't being chosen, and dave knows in his bones he should never be the one picked in those situations. ]

So it's better all around if I just...don't. Pretend to have that claim.

You do have that claim. I can give you another grand tour of the mentality of Dirk Strider if you need it to see. You aren't second to anyone, dude!

[And it kills him that Dave can't see that even though he understands why; it kills him and he just wishes he could get it across, he just wishes Dave could understand.]

I haven't mentioned Warpers to anyone yet because I'm waiting for you to okay it. I am keeping the promise I made for you.

You...wait, what, you didn't?

[ he. completely fucking assumed dirk would? oops. and that information is maybe semi important.

shit dave should probably say something to the base as a whole about that? dirk's the only person he bothered to update. ]

No. You hadn't given me the okay, so I waited.

[Like! He promised to! About all information Dave brought him!

...at the risk of the entire base, possibly. But you know. Promises to Dave > Base.]

Oh. Shit.

[ he scrubs at his eye for a second. not tears, he doesn't exactly tear up as discussed previously, but just. wow. ]

Uh, I need to check into some more shit before I do that. I didn't want to do it alone but I didn't feel up to draggin' anyone into it yet. And I didn't want anyone I didn't trust to invite themselves along.

Okay. Your call.

[Because. Dirk said it would be Dave's call. Because that was his promise.]

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