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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

I don't know if I wanna hear it again yet. That everythin' I'm thinkin' is stupid and broken and fucked up.

[ rose wouldn't put it like that, no one would use those exact words. mostly dave would use them. but he's pretty sure in this case, like in a few others, his own disparagement of his person would be validated, and sometimes it's a bit much to take coming from people he doesn't want to hear that kind of shit from. ]

[splinten]

[His fingers curl in, around Dave's palms.]

I don't think it is, honestly. Thinkin' in ways that you don't want to doesn't make you stupid or broken, and neither doesn't it make you worth any less.

[the thing im arguing against is the idea that youre somehow worth less as a person
just because youre not some ideal that doesnt even fucking exist

Dave isn't worth less as a person. Dave isn't worth less ever.]

It isn't fair, but all the ways you learned to think helped you make it through your childhood. They protected you from being totally destroyed by him. I think if they kept you alive to this point, then they weren't stupid at all, they were necessary so that you could survive long enough to learn different ways of thinking. It just sucks that you had to think like this in the first place.

[parodeity]

I've told you before. If I'm gonna be destroyed -

[ it'll be dirk or the others. maybe he didn't say it explicitly like that, but he's called dirk a genetic heartbreaker before or something stupid like that, and dave is pretty sure that's how he'll get crushed someday. there's always new damage being done and he's never got his defenses in place as well as he did with bro.

it sucks. ]

Ask me a question.

[ he doesn't care what. something serious or something not. dave has no idea how to start explaining himself, and he's still not sure if he wants to. ]

[splinten]

Do you believe that I try my best for you? Not asking for a trophy just for effort, but. Yeah. Didn't know if that was covered under things you did or didn't believe.

[ok so we're going serious here. It's a genuine question though, one he is sincerely unsure of. He fails a lot, but he does try, to the best of his deeply fucked up ability. He always tries.]

[parodeity]

[ well. dave said to ask. he lets out a breath, slow. ]

...Sometimes. [ not always. dave doesn't think dirk deliberately does less than his best at anything, but: ] When you're thinkin' about it. Sometimes I believe it.

[splinten]

That's fair. [Dirk exhales too, slowly. It's a fair reply.]

...Would you rather have heelies or light-up sneakers?

[Also a stupid question to add in. He thinks having something dumb to think about will help Dave though.]

[parodeity]

If I couldn't combo 'em, probably the heelies. Light-ups are cool, but they're crap for stealth.

[ which isn't really a concern, but. ]

[splinten]

Combo heelie-light-ups sounds like a disaster.

[...he says, clearly interested in the idea.]

[parodeity]

I think you mean pure genius?

[ praise him ]

[splinten]

You can't get that label until you explain how you'd have the light up work while in heelie mode. Then I'll decide.

[A tough judge when it comes to shoe engineering.

You know, because Dirk has only the best taste in shoes. vomit.]

[parodeity]

Scrolling marquee lights around the base, obviously.

[ does dave even want these. who knows. ]

[splinten]

Nine out of ten.

[well dirk now wants them so]

[parodeity]

[ he is suddenly super offended by his 1 off point. ]

With alternatin' colors.

[splinten]

Eleven.

[Thanks for that extra level of stupid, Dirk is now in.]

[parodeity]

Damn straight.

[ he'll regret this when dirk tries to wear these abominations with a suit or something ]

...That it?

[splinten]

[Yes he will.]

On what? Adding any more to the shoes would be gilding the lily, but I assumed you know that and are not actually asking about it.

[because clearly Dave knows when enough is enough on bad shoes]

[parodeity]

Questions.

[ he'll just. succinctly explain what he meant rather than doing a song and dance. it's late, he's tired, and he just helped dirk commit a fashion atrocity in the future. ]

[splinten]

I didn't want to ask you too many.

[So he didn't. His eyes peek open.]

[parodeity]

[ dave's eyes are still open? though they weren't, like, last time dirk checked. ]

Just ask.

[splinten]

[That's new. Hello, Dave's eyes. Dirk can't make everything about them out in the darkness.]

What things are the things you aren't fine about right now?

[parodeity]

[ they're still crimson and all that. no sharingan or anything tho so it's cool.

also, shit. ]

The laundry list? [ that's so open-ended. he breathes out again, quiet. ] Me. You. Bro. Vantas. John. Whether or not any of it even matters, when it's not permanent.

[splinten]

[Right. It's all what he thought, more or less. But Dave said it. Dirk is always grateful for Dave saying it.]

Do things have to be permanent to matter? Not being rhetorical here, or a sarcastic dick. Askin' for your perspective.

[parodeity]

It's not exactly thrillin' to think we could all fuck off and remember none of this. Maybe it'd be for the best, but even so.

[ so. that's what he meant by "permanent". dave had always pretty much believed shit would end someday, but he thought he'd for sure remember it and the realization that isn't a fact he can count on has not been super fun. ]

[splinten]

Memory shit, or alternate timelines?

[Different kind of question: Dirk's asking for Dave's judgement call on what's happening here. Different universe John, or stuff happening to his head?]

[parodeity]

He's not from a different timeline.

[ he's pretty sure that's not the case. he can look more closely, but - ]

It's John.