parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 3.0;

I guess we only had the one assassination attempt. On Derse, I mean. Although I am pretty sure you mean IRL assassination attempts? And we took care of that dude.

[ That Dude made the mistake of trying to fucking assassinate rose while dave was within range. even if he hadn't been, that probably wouldn't have ended so well for the chess guy. ]

Yeah, the Condesce periodically tried to assassinate Jane. Other people did too, but the Condesce was the one Rox and me worried most about. [Even though the Batterwitch needed Jane alive to play the game, and therefore it couldn't fully succeed, it could succeed enough to be dangerous.] We had Dersite assassination attempts from her later, right before game start. They actually got Jake, but Jane managed to get away. They couldn't find Roxy, and I took out the one sent to kill me.

Uhhhh. Yeah, I guess I was the only one in constant mortal peril pre-game, and then John was like, the one who got into the shit constantly during the game by virtue of wanderin' the fuck off on his own to do dumb shit a lot? Jade lived alone but she had her dog who I guess was the guardian of our universe or somethin' and also omnipotent, so it's not like anythin' ever happened to her really.

[ monster-wise. ]

And our Derse was like, whatever. No one did jack shit until we were around to handle it. But I guess that could have gone poorly for 'em since at least two of us were awake super early and Rose wouldn't have been that hard to wake up.

[Dirk thinks about the dog that the Condesce apparently killed, the one that Jake's Grandma had loved. He decides not to think about it; their universe had that weirdass cat and that was enough.]

The Derse treatment of their players always seemed pretty bizarre to me. Like, the weird mix of adulation for their sleeping royalty and commitment to killing us some time later. And why did the game have a set up of Derse versus Prospit and then dump half its players on the eventual enemy moon anyway? What did that even give us anyway? Maybe I'm missing the point for lack of a properly played game, but it seems entirely pointless.

Ehh. We kind of like, skipped our politics shit, on the grounds we instead broke the game to fuckin' hell, but the politics were important. We skipped our Reckoning entirely, but also, Jack killed like.......all our royalty, soooooo. The trolls had it nearer to the damn purpose, which was like, you all build your houses up to your gates - check - do the denizen shit - semi-check - do the frog breeding - check plus - then you gotta confront, like the Black Queen and King who should have their ring thingies and after that you get to the platform, but like, again: we skipped through most of that shit at the tail end and wouldn't have been able to do it anyway, on account of all the random teleportation murder.

[ jack killed a lot of people that sure was a fucking thing ]

All of that makes a certain amount of cohesive sense in terms of personal journeys, self-discoveries, shapin' us into Gods. Right up until the politics of the moons, which just comes off as arbitrary and without nuance. Anything else could have been substituted in there, and I guess in the case of the final battle it mostly was.

I'd really like to give that game a bad review. [HE THINKS ABOUT IT A LOT. HE HAS SO MANY CRITIQUES. He wants to sit with Rose and her GameFAQ and just wreck it.]

Can't think of a single damn person who'd stop you. Have at it.

[ did anyone actually enjoy their gaming experience? ]

We'd manage to make a better game.

[It may be a bad game they'd make, but it'd be better.]

First step there is not botherin'.

[ who wants to play any more life-altering games? not dave. ]

I told you I'm doin' shit with Rose tomorrow, right. She wants an office.

[ he's labor. it's as decent an excuse as any to avoid being home, but also, he promised he'd be labor for this exact thing whenever she got around to it months ago. ]

You did.

[Among other things he tossed at Dirk, things that shouldn't have hurt and normally wouldn't, but things that thudded dull against his chest now. He opens his eyes.]

You aren't fine.

She probably won't murder me and hide the body or anythin'. Though she may make me lie on a couch and tell her about my dreams.

[ deflection is second nature. dave had spent years making jokes about shit just so he never had to address it or think about the things he actually thought.

his kneejerk reaction is to say he is fine, but he already admitted he wasn't. ]

I will be. [ maybe, probably, someday. it was hard enough to say the "i'm not" part. ]

That falls under 'worse than murder.'

[Not really. Not when it's Rose. But.

Dirk is quiet again. Trying to find a way to put it right.]

If you can tell me... I'll try not to make it worse. I can just stay quiet and listen if you want.

I had that marionette dream again. Except instead of gettin' tangled up in threads and not bein' able to move at all, the strings were cut, and there was nowhere to go.

[ it's not the worst nightmare he's ever had. ]

They were cut on purpose, I mean. Then I was just kinda left there, in the dark, and I couldn't move.

[ not really what dirk was asking for, probably. ]

[It isn't what he was asking for, but it isn't the opposite of it either.]

That's a shitty dream.

[He would hate it. Cut strings, solitude, darkness. Still and quiet and helpless and alone.]

Eh. The worst part was wishin' it'd just start up again, the puppeteering, because at least then I wouldn't be - you know.

[ some abandoned wooden toy in the dark. at least it'd be something. ]

I've had way worse.

An Everest of shit does not make the Rockies any less made of crap.

[A phrase is at the back of his throat. I promise. I promise to be here for you, I promise never to abandon you. I promise not to make you a puppet, I promise to protect you to care about you to stay.

Dave asked him not to make promises but there are so many he wants to. And of course he'll fail at them. He is so good at failing. And how can he ask Dave to trust him if he so often fails?]

Doesn't it? It's so stupid to get worked up about basically anythin' here. It ain't like I'm gettin' the crap beat out of me every day or nearly dyin' or actually dyin'.

[ there are bigger worries to have, and he's had to have them before. ]

Sometimes the dreams are just a refresher course in that. And I'm sorry I like...forget that. [ that things aren't as bad as they could be, he means. ]

That's putting the bar below the Marianas trench and deep in the Earth's core. The bar has gone from being molten to becoming totally solid once more from the mass pressure of the entire Earth's weight.

[It is a dumb Strider metaphor, but Dirk actually managed to keep it to its illogical conclusion. Good for him.]

That kind of perspective isn't a bad thing. My hand was cut, but at least it isn't my writing hand—it makes sense. I don't think being your spare hand disqualifies it from getting fixed up, though.

Both hands are spare hands. I was left-handed originally? But like, I had to learn to use both.

[ that's not even the point of what dirk was saying and dave knows it. ]

I've never known how to fix myself, Dirk.

[Dirk knows Dave knows, because Dave is an ass.]

It was a practical choice, but mostly I learned to use my right hand to be cooler.

[just. a lame admission there.]

Yeah, I know. Me either. [He debates reaching for Dave's hand. For now, he decides to keep his still.] You were when I started to try.

My hand got stomped on and shit.

[ vague details. not super helpful, and dave's sure he shouldn't have bothered. ]

I don't know what needs fixing.

[Maybe not helpful. Something that hits Dirk in the gut, though it's less a visible wince than it is some resigned pain, every time he learns a new detail.]

Can I hold one?

[A hand.]

[ it's honestly not like that was even a Huge Injury. dave uncurls his left arm, dropping his hand between them.

so, yes, apparently. ]

[Dirk takes that hand in both of his. He holds it careful and tender, like it were broken still, or like it carries its cracks with it. Like he could protect it now.]

You don't trust yourself to know.

[A little lift, but not quite a question. A conclusion that Dirk is saying, trying to check if it's true.]

[ dave opens his eyes. ]

Not really. [ it's not a conclusion he's really thought about, but - no, he doesn't really trust himself, either. ] I'm not the best judge of that kind of thing.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject