recollé ic inbox 3.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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Comments

[windeity]

[Well. Yes. Considering he sees that no and it's something he immediately feels bad about.]

?

[And when Dave keeps typing and deleting...]

...to...which?

[parodeity]

[ there's more typing for like another ten goddamned minutes and then...

more deleting as he decides "no nevermind can't actually say the issue". ]

nevermind

[ which does not explain that amount of "typing" but okay. ]

thanks

[ and more typing and deleting so "thanks" almost definitely preceded something else that would have sounded way more argumentative than just the thanks does.

it actually kind of probably looks more annoyed than any long rambling sentences could, compared to his usual texting style.

it was easier to call john a fucking moron when they were thirteen and john didn't look at him when he said the wrong thing. and when john actually remembered years of shared experiences and points of reference. and when empty rooms didn't mean the same thing they do now.

he still types it up and deletes it like twelve times in a row though. ]

good luck

[ goddamnit that doesn't even make sense but he needed more than two words. ]

[windeity]

[It's fine, John will apparently take up the mantle of rambling sentences because he's typing...for a really long time.]

i'm sorry. i still do not know what i did wrong and i am really sorry about it.
i overreacted. a lot. i overreacted and it was shitty and i am really sorry and it won't happen again because i think i understand now.
or maybe i don't.
i do not know.
i want to understand and i cannot unless you talk to me and i do not want to make you talk to me if you do not want to talk because i promised you that i would not make you tell me things.
and i said that i would tell you things but i can't tell what you do and do not want to know.
i remember a lot and i do not know how to really tell you everything i remember or how to bring it up and i just wanted you to not worry for once because this month has been fucking bullshit.
and this is bullshit because i have no idea what to do anymore.
and i could add more dumb metaphors about eating my insides and all of that but it gets weird and creepy and i don't want to be weird and creepy.
i am sorry that i got too close and it freaked you out.
that is probably it? i do not know.
but i will listen this time.
i told you i am not the hero because i fucked this up somehow and i did not figure out a way to make this ok.
i do not want to be back there if you are not coming back.
i thought maybe you were just finally tired of me not keeping up and i am trying to gain back my memories as fast as possible, which is impossible since i am not sure what will and will not make me remember things.
and i am sorry that i am not the right version that you need or want or i don't know.
I DON'T KNOW.
this is stupid and i have no idea what else i can say.

1/??????

[parodeity]

[ well it's better than dave typing and deleting things forever, although he then

proceeds to do that for a little longer

jfc dave spit it out ]

it would be cool if you would be less of a hypocrite for five seconds

[parodeity]

[ HE MEANT TO DELETE THAT ONE. ]

wait fuck

[parodeity]

i didnt mean that
that was stupid
im sorry

4/4 i guess end

[parodeity]

[ well, he DID mean it but. ]

youre fine
im sorry
we can just forget it

[windeity]

[...ah.

Okay what if he just. Calls him. Because this continues to be stupid.]

[parodeity]

[ NNNNGH.

he'll pick up but he's not saying anything. ]

[windeity]

You know. [He sounds kind of annoyed but also...sort..of...amused...] That is probably the thing you could have started out with last night.

[parodeity]

[ dave sounds...

completely emotionally neutral and monotone. it is remarkably hard to gauge where he's at without his facial expressions and body language to go off of; even if they're smaller than other people's they kind of explain it better than his vocal emotional range on a day to day basis. ]

It isn't a thing that's true. So no.

[windeity]

Dave. [Just. Cutting him off for a second.] It's fine. I uh. You're not...exactly wrong? About being kind of a hypocrite? I am not entirely sure what brought that on but you are not the first person to tell me that. Actually you are not even the first person to tell me that this week, so. Yeah.

[parodeity]

I was just tryin' to annoy you. I don't think that.

[ like, he DOES, but he sure isn't explaining why apparently. he still sounds supernaturally calm, as per usual. ]

[windeity]

Would it really be so bad if you did? [He's curious why Dave's suddenly resisting calling him on bullshit but he'll play along for a little while.]

[parodeity]

[ HE SHRUGS.

ON A TELEPHONE CALL.

how long has he been awake counting a few probably loops. let's not find out.

...

it takes him a few minutes to realize no one can see a shrug via telephone. ]

Who knows. Weren't you busy with things?

[ like john pretty much admitted that was a lie but let's just focus on that for a bit. ]

[windeity]

[SIGH. He doesn't say anything and instead he holds the phone away from his ear. It may take Dave a few minutes but soon he will hear the sound of waves?]

When have I ever been too busy for you? I am just curious.

[parodeity]

[ he's quiet for a fairly long time before his monotone goes terse: ]

Do you want the itemized list? It ends with today, and starts eons ago.

[ he does not question john's location or comment on the waves. ]

So I would like to let you get back to that.

[windeity]

What? Wait hold on a second, I don't--what? [WHAT. He's busy trying to wrack his brain for when he ignored Dave in recent memory but...he...obviously can't say anything for past-him who somehow keeps helping to fuck things up. Thanks buddy.]

Yes, I want an itemized list. I'm really...Dave?

[parodeity]

What?

[ that ended on a question so he does not, in fact, provide a list. ]

[windeity]

[Oh. Okay.]

What did I do that was hypocritical, do I stand a chance at fixing it, or did I fuck up even worse than the first time? [What first time?]

[parodeity]

What first time?

[ - shit ]

Fuck. [ that sounds the faintest bit frustrated, because he slipped into asking questions and he was trying not to do that. ]

[windeity]

[...:)

Yeah he. Will keep casually poking and prodding to get somewhere even if this is still the worst.]

The first time that it became clear I do not remember everything just right just yet. [And before Dave can interject, he continues.] Maybe I am projecting a little, but I definitely remember telling Davesprite that I wanted to talk to you specifically because you were my friend who understood everything I was going through at that point. And that is why I asked you for advice and we pissed off Karkat. I always wanted to talk to my friends because I knew we were on the same page and it felt weird when we weren't. And that is probably how this feels a little, doesn't it?

[parodeity]

[ .....................................

he genuinely is speechless for like ten minutes out of sheer aggravation. ]

Do you ever listen to yourself say words. God fucking damnit I hate phone conversations. Can we switch back.

[windeity]

Are you going to actually keep talking to me if we do?

[parodeity]

Hey, more -

[ "hypocrisy" ends that sentence. he cuts himself off before he finishes it. ]

...How about we see one another when we see one another, like you originally planned.