recollé ic inbox 3.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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Comments

[windeity]

Are you going to actually keep talking to me if we do?

[parodeity]

Hey, more -

[ "hypocrisy" ends that sentence. he cuts himself off before he finishes it. ]

...How about we see one another when we see one another, like you originally planned.

[windeity]

No. I am not waiting a fucking week to see you, what the fuck? Just because I planned for one solid day does not mean I do not want to see you other days.

Do you--I don't know. Do you want me just to stop? Because I have no idea how to actually do that.

[parodeity]

Do you? Because that's all I'm gettin' from anything you've done recently! God, fuck this, I didn't want - if you want to text we can, or if you think you can win at hide and seek we can do that.

[ he is hanging up solely because he said more than he wanted to but he will text like 2 seconds later.

...that wasn't even yelling. it was the same godforsaken even tone as usual, but now he's getting snarkier. ]

also 4 someone who doesnt have an idea on how to do that youre really good at it so kudos

[ or just outright annoyed, so. ]

[windeity]

[And then Dave is hanging up.]

WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
you are the one who went completely cold and awol on me and who has been avoiding me all month when you can help it to sleep on goddamn roofs!
also YOU wanted to leave last night!
so why am I the hypocrite, you are still not explaining that part!

[parodeity]

[ ok you know what ]

lmao and which of us left first after specifically locking me out of doing so
im sorry is the ocean suddenly our room egbert
thanks for the heads up btw and making a point of thanking me for mine
its complete and total bullshit you left to avoid me leaving after forbidding me from leaving basically

[ like, he said "please", but it may as well have been an ironclad decree for dave. which is 1) stupid and 2) unfair ]

for someone who is supposedly tired of people making assumptions about what he thinks or feels from what he does or how he acts
or trying to guess anything about him
which by the way not doing that makes it really hard to say anything
YOU DO IT TO ME ALL THE TIME
you do all the stuff to me you get mad about me doing to you
this is unfair and bullshit and i HATE IT
and now im doing his godforsaken capslock thing fuckdamnit i hate that TOO
and i cant STOP IT

[windeity]

??????
are you talking about leaving the fort because i never left the room.
but fine, ok, it's bullshit that i am afraid of you never coming back given what the fuck i happened to see right before that.

you won't actually tell me what you want or what you think so i have to make assumptions just so you will tell me i am wrong.
look at that, IT WORKS!
WOW! AMAZING!
for fucks sake dave there is such a thing as balance and APPARENTLY! WE SUCK AT IT!
OR YOU DO? OR I DO?
oh my god i sound like karkat.
you know what else is unfair and bullshit is the part where you won't even talk to me about what the fuck i can be doing to even fix this, you already decided and don't give me that shit about how i am assuming things. I SAW you freeze on me. i can SEE it and i can HEAR it and i am so fucking pissed about EVERYTHING and i wish i was him because you would probably at least be happier.
DID YOU KNOW IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE JEALOUS OF YOURSELF? BECAUSE I DIDN'T. AND IT IS SO FUCKING STUPID AND I HATE IT.

[parodeity]

do you really fucking think i told you anything back then either
spoiler alert we had ONE argument in our entire lives
and it was about you being a fucking dumbass and the only reason we had it was because
if we DIDNT youd die
otherwise i wouldnt have started it
!!!!!!!!!!!
amazing
i fucked up and i told you shit here and i shouldnt have and i knew better and i did it anyway
so yeah the thing you should miss is me doing this right

so like you just get to do the shit to me
and i dont get to do it back
thats where were at
i mean i deserve that for telling you anything i did tell you
but thats cool

and you DID leave first
our room was empty and you ditched first
you dont get to say i left first because i didnt
i was being sarcastic about the heads up you didnt give me
because
you didnt give me one
jfc this is a pointless conversation

[windeity]

[...Dave does not get a response. Because John has stepped out of his car and threw his phone into the ocean out of sheer frustration.

So that's awesome. Why the fuck did he do that.

Give him about half an hour so that he can fish his phone out of the water and go to a grocery store for a bag of rice and then back to their dorm. Assuming that Dave isn't there, he'll message him back from his computer.]

i never said that i wasn't coming back.
i said i would be gone for a while.
as in a few hours.
but yeah, i fucked up.
a lot.
so. sorry.

[parodeity]

[ ...he is obviously still on the roof of the dorm building, although he's at least not fuming because it's hard to maintain an actual argument for that long anyway. which is either a good or bad thing, since at least he was giving john legitimate reactions when they were bickering. ]

yeah
im sorry too
wasnt really your fault on any part of it

[ ...so he's back down to censored responses and kicking himself for arguing, given half an hour to chill the fuck out. ]

[windeity]

no i am pretty sure at least a good part of this is my fault given everything that was just said.

[Wow. What wonders happen when they have some time to chill out. Like. Not that the censored responses are great again but okay at least he knows what to work with.]

are you still above my head?

[parodeity]

those were all lies because im a compulsive liar

[ that doesn't answer the question at all but yeah he's still on the dorm roof and thankfully not another one. he literally went straight up there after john jetted post library, and has not left since? ]

[windeity]

yes i know you are, that is just a thing that you do and i am still learning how to read between the lines.
sometimes i am not great at it.

[Well. Okay. He'll just go on a hunch and grab Dave's bedspread and start hauling himself up to the roof.]

[parodeity]

there are no lines to read between b/c they were all lies

[ why is he being five.

he's legitimately on the roof, sitting precariously on the edge as he occasionally does with fuck all interest in safety - he can fly, who cares - and staring at his phone. since the morning he has acquired a black oversized sweater patterned with white skeletons, so with his black jeans and shades he's extremely monochrome at the moment. ]

[windeity]

[He gets up to the roof and he can't exactly answer back since his phone's fucked, so instead he's quiet as he heads up and approaches from the side since he does remember Dave said he hates people sneaking up on him. On the other hand, once he's there and in Dave's line of vision he's just sort of

you know

draping the bedspread around him like a cape and partially over his head.]

[parodeity]

[ he does. but he also hears john because john isn't bro silent, so he doesn't flinch, and also doesn't look over for a moment, although after he does he kind of grimaces partly at the use of his bedspread - he'll have to wash it if it touches the roof too much since it's not exactly clean up here and he's fussy sometimes - more than anything else. half of him is annoyed about that and the other half is amused, but neither side really does more than that slight twitch of his mouth like it couldn't decide if it wanted to frown or curve up.

he's not sure how to initiate a conversation here, so dave just slides his phone back into his pocket. ]

[windeity]

[He's still standing, trying to figure out what the right move is here. Dave's not immediately jumping off the roof which kind of helps but at the same time he's doing his best not to push his luck.]

...can I sit? [To join him, he means.]

[parodeity]

It's a free country, so sure.

[ he does the thing where he yanks his sweater sleeves down over his hands since he's not texting anymore. ]

[windeity]

Thanks. [Sigh. Okay he'll settle next to him and let his legs dangle off of the edge of the roof, letting Dave keep his bedspread and also glancing up at the sky for the time being.]

So hey. Do you maybe want to come with me to get a new phone tomorrow? [It's a joking tone, but also. Yeah.]

[parodeity]

...Not if you make me help you pick out another outdated monstrosity.

[ that sounds like Hell. ]

What the fuck did you do to your phone?

[windeity]

[He just kind of laughs about it for the time being.]

It doesn't work anymore. I am going to see if I can revive it but I think it's dead. And I can even upgrade to like an iPhone 6. Unless that is also considered outdated since the 7 exists.

[parodeity]

Pretty much anything is less outdated than your previous one.

[ he opens his mouth again to ask (again) why the phone doesn't work any longer before deciding to just...close his mouth.

dial back the questions. ]

[windeity]

[There's a slow nod...and then he figures it's best to come clean because if Dave comes back ever he will see the bag of rice.]

Cool. I. It sort of went for a swim in the ocean so I am trying to dry it out. If that does not work I will definitely need an upgrade.

[parodeity]

You need an upgrade anyway.

[ things he hates: snow, john's outdated phone, ]

[windeity]

So come with me. I haven't shopped for a phone since I got my old one and that was years and years ago. Clearly I am going to need some guidance on this new-fangled technology.