recollé ic inbox 3.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[parodeity]

[ he just. swallows. look. ]

...red's my color, not yours.

here take my 8000th tag

[windeity]

[...yeah okay. He's had just about enough of this and he absolutely doesn't agree, and Dave's being a total idiot and freezing. So he lets Dave say his piece before he steps back and without warning moves to. You know. Wrap him up in his bedding, pick him up, and start bridal carrying him back to the door to the roof.]

Yeah, I know. And in most cases I think it looks better on you than me there are some cases I would prefer it not being on either of us. So. Shut up. It is not different and you know it.

im loved

[parodeity]

[ oh my god what the fuck. dave doesn't usually make undignified noises that often? and he barely does now, it's just a strangled sort of grunt as he's. picked up bridal style. what the fuck. his hands definitely got knocked off in that and his left immediately grips john's shoulder for balance and wHAT THE FUCK, JOHN

this is worse than the forehead thing ]

- Dude!

[windeity]

[They did, and John's not at all sorry as Dave grabs him for balance and John's only response is to laugh while dutifully carrying Dave away from the edge of the roof and back inside.]

Hey, I gave you chances. You are still freezing and you keep dodging any attempts at going inside, so I am making the decision for us.

[parodeity]

I am not freezing.

[ he says, freezing, ]

Also this is an extreme misuse of your weird jock strength and I am goin' to sue.

[windeity]

Your hands were on mine, jackass, stop being stubborn. [Into the dorm they go and he's definitely carrying him all the way back to the room.] If you did not think I would--wait, weird jock strength? Is that what we're calling it?

[parodeity]

Would you rather me call it your swole sausage shoulders strength?

[ no ]

[windeity]

If you ever say the word "swole" to describe me again I am tearing up our friendship contract. My arms are not that big. [He'll figure out how to open the door while still carrying Dave and once they're inside it'll reveal that obviously Dave's bed is missing the bedspread that Dave is currently wrapped in and Mewpac is sleeping on John's bed instead.]

[parodeity]

Are we married now.

[ SUPER DRYLY, after being carried over the damn threshold of their room.

is john planning to put dave down any time soon god. ]

Also I think that depends on the exact level of swole bein' referred to? There is a scale, Egbert. Why do you not know this kinda thing?

[windeity]

Why would I know this kind of thing, oh my god. [Thanks for not even acknowledging the married comment, John. But then again Dave says all kinds of stupid bullshit all he time and John's getting better at ignoring it.

He's also going to unceremoniously dump Dave on his bed instead of Dave's while Mewpac wakes up with a wide yawn.] Seriously, please leave me off the swole scale.

[parodeity]

[ there is an undignified hey as he is dumped???? fucking rude??? ]

Too late, you are on tier six, titled "fuck you, John Egbert".

[windeity]

Yeah, yeah, I am the worst. It's me. [He's grabbing some spare blankets before throwing them on his bed for them, too.] Anything else I should know about that tier?

[parodeity]

I refuse to give you more details about the swole tiers because you clearly do not appreciate them. [ also he just made them up twenty seconds ago. ]

[windeity]

Seriously please stop staying swole unless you want to sleep in your own bed tonight. [But he pauses not long after that.] Oh. I maybe should have asked after all of that...do you want to sleep in your own bed tonight?

[parodeity]

...Do you want me to want to sleep in my own bed tonight, or do you and you swole arms want to sleep alone?

[ he cannot fucking help himself, john forbid the use of the word it is now his new favorite word ]

[windeity]

[And suddenly Dave's hit in the face with his own pillow that John picked up and threw across the room.]

My swole arms are going to kick your smol ass if you don't shut up. [He can play along even if he looks like he wants to die a little.] Scoot over.

[parodeity]

[ no he’s too busy looking faintly amused to scoot ]

That doesn’t even work, I’m taller than you?

[windeity]

[Well that's better than looking utterly wrecked, so he'll take it even if it's at his own expense.]

You're only taller than me by, like, two inches. And I still outweigh you and you're all...willow-y. So it kind of counts? [Probably not but whatever.]

[parodeity]

Smol is the antonym of tall, not fat. Ergo your fat ass cannot call me smol.

[ 1) rude 2) john isn’t fat 3) stop debating the use of this word?

he will scoot over after picking up mewpac though. ]

[windeity]

We really need to cut down on your Tumblr time...[But he shakes his head and he'll head back to where Dave and Mewpac are, dropping down onto the bed and laying on his back. Dave's closest to the wall and Mewpac's happily kneading her paws into Dave's hands and whatever part she can reach.] Better?

[He's also pulling blankets and shifting things around to basically keep them warm since Dave is an asshole and also still probably frozen.]

[parodeity]

[ he is definitely still frozen but he doesn’t complain about the shifting although he starts squirming to remove his shoes without reaching down to do it, which involves moving his feet around a lot. his hands are occupied petting the cat. ]

Fuck you, I’m an adult and I get to decide how much social media time is too much?

[windeity]

[He'll wait for Dave to figure out how to take off his own shoes like an adult then, jesus. But he sort of shakes his head even as he's reaching for his phone to flick on some background noise. It's a low volume and it's not him playing but it's nice to have.]

Right, I forgot you are technically an adult when I carried your stubborn ass back here and also when you whined at me about taking a nap a few weeks ago.

[parodeity]

[ it’d be easier with hands but he eventually manages and kicks them. off the bed if he isn’t under covers already or they just get trapped in the bed if he is. the cat has priority. ]

I wasn’t done talkin’ to you and I never whined about taking a nap!

[windeity]

[Dont leave your shoes in his bed what the fuck? He’ll kick Dave’s shoes out of the bed and just drop another blanket on him because this is stupid. ]

Really? Because I remember having to sit on your legs to work on an essay because you were still being too stubborn. And you could keep talking to me here. What a concept.

[parodeity]

I wasn’t tired, you just decided I was.

[ alternative facts... ]

...do you actually get somethin’ out of this, Egbert?