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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[parodeity]

[ okay, john, if you want to CHEAT.

perfectly deadpan and with absolutely no change in expression, dave flips over the queen of spades.

that was definitely not in his fucking hand, but he's blase about it, and it is basically just an annoyed comment on john's life choices. it's sleight of hand that's pretty much supernatural, since he shouldn't have been able to snag one of john's cards without john noticing, and yet ]

Please. It's one deck, and you know what I've played.

[ also he's at eight rn but he just pulled a dick move. ]

[windeity]

[Yeah that. He looks surprised suddenly because he thought he had all of the high cards but maybe he counted wrong?]

You make it sound like I am actually really noticing that. [He shoves the cards at Dave then since he's being a jerk. At this rate they each have like three more face down cards probably given what Dave's already flipped and so John's flipping the king of hearts.]

[parodeity]

[ of course, now that he's cheated once, dave's aware he could just. bullshit his way out of this. if he doesn't cap his skills, it's possible to win, and he's extremely aware of that. it's not hard to be faster than other people, and it's how he won at poker against some very annoying coyotes he's pretty sure were cheating, too.

he doesn't immediately flip his card, but stares at it, and debates.he hates making choices, but he makes this one with a sigh, shoulders slouching.

dave flips the ace of hearts. ]

[windeity]

[Somehow in staring at the two cards John remembers he's not. Actually doing this because he's mad. He's a little mad because everything is hard and stupid and frustrating but the game wasn't about that and he gives Dave a light grin as he picks up the two cards.

This...maybe it was a stupid idea, but he's getting it. He's getting how Dave operates and they have two cards each. He flips the eight of clubs.]

[parodeity]

[ ace of diamonds.

so it'll be his next card that determines if he loses or flips the fucking table again. does john want to hazard a bet on this. ]

[windeity]

[He does, seeing how he takes the cards and immediately flips his last which is the ten of spades. He's also just staring at Dave for a minute to see what he's going to pull next.]

[parodeity]

[ he cheats, of course.

ace of clubs, which definitely wasn't in his hand to start with and which was borrowed out of john's (replaced with the ten of hearts), so whatever. why he's cheating to lose is dave's own weird bullshit and he lets go of the final card without hesitation or any change in expression besides a raised eyebrow.

what's the favor, john? ]

[windeity]

[So that's it. The game's over and he vanishes the rest of his cards back into his sylladex with a reminder to himself to maybe go pick up the rest. He doesn't quite know how he won through all of that.

And instead of saying anything he sits there, staring at Dave for a minute before he settles for just kind of opening his arms wordlessly.

A hug is like. Half the favor, but he's pretty sure if he had just tried it on his own Dave would have absconded.

This was literally the stupidest way to go about this.]

[parodeity]

[ ...okay whatever he expected it wasn't that. dave stares. ]

That's all you want?

[ jfc he thought he was throwing a game for something bigger. hilariously fun facts john doesn't get to know: dave would have just let him hug him regardless, even if he would have been - and likely will be - a little stiff and awkward and unsure. ]

[windeity]

[Just a Look. He's not saying yes or no. Actually he's not saying anything until Dave complies but he'll just stay in that same position. Eventually he may raise an eyebrow if Dave doesn't move, but otherwise he's quiet and weirdly patient.

Dave's not wrong. There's a bigger agenda here but he's testing things out.]

[parodeity]

[ look. ]

You have to actually confirm that's what you want for your win.

[ and it's almost reluctant but he's serious: the body language is obvious but he read that wrong a few times and he's wary of some greater trap. ]

[windeity]

[Dave goddamnit why.]

Part of it. Are you really denying me my win, Strider? [There's a grin, but it's just a touch desperate too because come on, please something work with him a little. Fucking universe.]

[parodeity]

[ an eyebrow goes up. ]

I'm not. You won. [ he does not add "fair and square" ] But what's part two? [ that's. said with some amount of suspicion even though he's at least up on his knees instead of seated now. he hasn't moved except to shift so that he can move when he decides to. ]

[windeity]

Part two is a part I think you might fight me on but I figured it was worth trying a little. I just want you to try giving me your opinions on stuff instead of going mono-syllable on me again. Even if it's calling me a hypocritical jackass--which I know I can be, it's fine--or telling me why red is your favorite color despite blue being superior, I want to hear those things when you're ready to give them to me. Ask me questions. Yell at me. Whatever. I like you much better that way.

[parodeity]

[ okay the idea of yelling at someone is still kind of laughable but maybe someday. he ignores...most of that for the moment to focus on: ]

Askin' you questions has a fifty percent or higher chance of hurtin' you if it ain't pointless bullshit, or getting you to go mono-syllable.

[ ...? is that calling him a hypocritical jackass or not. ]

[windeity]

[And he just gives him a flat look.]

So okay, we both need to work on being a little more...whatever. [He refuses to use the word "honest."] I'm sorry. The last week has just been a lot and I am not really used to talking about stuff like this, so yeah, mono-syllable kind of made sense at the time. But that doesn't mean I want you to stop or anything and I can answer whatever you want. I think...I never thought it was stuff you needed to hear since it was my own shit and this is exactly why you called me a hypocrite, isn't it.

[Yeah. He finally gets it. Congrats, John.] Do you want me to stop?

[parodeity]

[ ok what if he doesn't answer that because the answer is no but he also focuses in on a different thing because of course he does, mind coming at it at the wrong angle belated. ]

You said you were jealous of yourself.

[windeity]

[It catches him by surprise and he blinks suddenly, unsure of why that was the part that Dave focused on.]

Yeah. I think that is maybe a stupid thing to be, but that is probably the best way to describe it. [It's what he had said to Ayano a few days ago, too, but he never elaborated on why.] I am jealous of who I was before this.

[parodeity]

I don't get jealous, really.

[ he says. and then he amends the statement: ]

...I don't like to acknowledge when it happens, and I think the easiest solution is to just remove myself from the picture if it does. I don't like to compete. [ stupid games for favors he can do; actually competing with people for affection or attention or power he's less in favor of. ] But it does. And it's stupid, and useless, and pathetic.

[ because who lets themselves be jealous of their friends being loved? the things dave has gotten jealous over have been mostly bullshit. maybe terezi aside. ]

- I'm jealous of people I never met.

[windeity]

[He shuts up to listen, letting Dave talk and trying to think this through.]

Yeah, I don't like to acknowledge it either when it happens. [It's very rare for John and it's not even remotely the same, but. He's making an effort.] In most case I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and say you can't change how you feel about stuff even if it's the ugly stuff like jealousy or anger or whatever. So I am not sure I would classify it as stupid and useless and pathetic. And if we are, then I guess we are both pathetic for different reasons.

[Just a thought. He doesn't ask Dave what he's been jealous about, he doesn't ask about the competition thing, he just...kind of accepts it.]

Does it help if you remove yourself from the picture even if the people you are jealous of aren't around?

[parodeity]

I don’t know. It’s not really viable in the cases that exist right now - mostly.

[ he had a reason for bringing it up. he just has to circle around to it. ]

- there’s a version of myself I was jealous of even back then. [ post scratch. not raised by bro. died fighting the batter with but he had been jealous of the idea of a version of dave strider who wasn’t such a complete mess. ] And I want...

[ what he wants is to never admit to what he wants because that is always dangerous. ]

...What you joked about, because I always pick the stupidest fucking thing.

[windeity]

Oh. [There were plenty of versions of themselves, he thinks, even if he doesn't know post-scratch yet or the BW or anything like that.] It is strange, isn't it?

[He furrows his eyebrows together though while he tries to understand what Dave's asking for.] I joked about a lot of things, dude, including going phone-shopping and raising the cat together. [A hesitant smile.] Help me out here?

[parodeity]

[ ...ok he thought John was being kind of serious about both those examples so dave pauses and. files away the information that this was not the case before moving on. it takes a few startled minutes. ]

Just. The weirdest one.

[ which is??? ]

[windeity]

[His brain catches up a few minutes later--]

I was serious about those, by the way. But like. They are different levels of seriousness? [Haha help him.] ...look I'm really bad at trying to take things like this seriously too even though I really, really want to. My default reactions are either joke about everything immediately or cynicism and those are really, really bad options sometimes. So...I have no idea what even counts as the weirdest one considering you felt like you had to use a favor for me to hug you.

[parodeity]

The one where we talked about me carving out your insides.

[ hey remember how dave is super fucking weird john when he says weird he means weird although this time he means it metaphorically. ]

In this lifetime I’m really kinda jealous of the people who got to like... [ ok this isn’t the explaining why he said the weird thing ] ...be your friend and hear your thoughts and who you actually told those things to or who - people who lucked out and got to be around and didn’t have to be told. I want to know the things that make you tick that I just don’t know. Because knowing you then doesn’t cover - it’s not - it doesn’t let me know you now except sideways? I want -

[ a shrug, sort of helplessly amused at his own inability to explain himself in a way that sounds halfway normal. ]

- I want to be the person - one of the people - you tell things to and I want to open you up and see how the gears fit together, and that’s ridiculously weird and unfair and I’d understand if you want to like...leave the roof.