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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[windeity]

[...he's just going to stare at the rest of his hand which is solely black cards.] Are you kidding me. [That is out loud to the cards more than Dave before he has to draw three and he throws down a 9 of diamonds.]

[parodeity]

[ still diamonds! dave still has only red cards so that's stupid and he puts down the three of diamonds this time.

he has four cards left. ]

[windeity]

[This is not helpful so he's going to turn the tables a bit and throw down a three of clubs. And maybe hope that luck is on his side here.]

[parodeity]

Fuck. [ okay, he ends up needing to draw four cards before he can finally toss down the two of clubs. this is terrible. that...brings him back to seven...

goddamnit ]

[windeity]

[That's enough to give him a sense of what kind of cards Dave may have, so he's going to be an asshole and play the seven of clubs just to keep it in the family. No big deal.

Seven cards left, too.]

[parodeity]

[ WHAT A DICK but you know what seven of hearts. ]

[windeity]

[Seven of spades Dave you are not allowed to win this one ok thank you goodbye.]

[parodeity]

[ goddamnit. he pulls five more to get King of spades and ends up at ten cards. ]

[windeity]

[There's a smirk and he throws down the ace of spades.]

[parodeity]

[ he has to pull some more before he raises an eyebrow and tosses down the eight of spades. ]

Hearts, asshole.

[ HE IS AT 15 CARDS, ALSO, ]

[windeity]

[He keeps getting down to five and then Dave keeps fucking him over, so there's a frustrated huff before he picks up three cards from the draw pile and throws down a five of hearts.]

Better?

[parodeity]

[ SINCE MOST OF HIS FUCKING HAND IS HEARTS, YES, THAT IS BETTER. jack of hearts, thank god. ]

I dunno, is it?

[ snarking since john had to pick up more cards.

...dave still has more cards tho. ]

[windeity]

[Sucks for Dave because John's. Swapping back to a black suit with the Jack of Spades and he shrugs lightly.]

For me, yeah, sure.

[parodeity]

[ JACK OF DIAMONDS. >[

he's at like. 13 cards now. ]

[windeity]

[He's just going to swear under his breath and draw another four cards before throwing down a six of diamonds. Normally he's fine with this game but it's slowly wearing on his nerves considering what he's trying to do here.]

[parodeity]

[ seven of diamonds, 12 cards.

...this is so stupid. ]

[windeity]

[He was at nine cards and then he goes back up to eleven before throwing down the queen of diamonds.

This would be so much easier if they didn't have to do stupid bullshit to earn favors and if the favors weren't so stupid, but this is what you get when you have two stubborn teenage boys apparently.]

[parodeity]

[ this would be so much easier if dave were not actively not throwing the game?

king of diamonds. I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAD TO LIST OUT WHAT WAS ALREADY THROWN DOWN. ]

[windeity]

[Dave let him win this one!! Also you're smarter than me I just left the whole thread open. Either way it's almost immediate as he slams down king of clubs.]

[parodeity]

[ NO!!!

KING OF DIAMONDS he has. ten cards left. if he gets trapped in spades or clubs again he will Die. since he definitely does not have anything not red. ]

[windeity]

[HE IS DOING HIS BEST and there's a quick draw before triumphantly throwing down the eight of diamonds because. BECAUSE.]

Spades.

[parodeity]

[ this is the stupidest direction this thread could have taken and dave considers for a moment throwing his cards at john's face but instead he pulls. three more fucking cards. to get the two of spades, which he throws down with

he's actually nearly scowling. it's the barest tilt downwards of his lips. amazing.

12 CARDS, AGAIN. ]

[windeity]

[Oh I could make it a lot stupider, but thank you for not throwing cards, Dave. John looks fairly pleased with himself and easily sets down the three of spades. Back down to seven. Let him win!!!]

[parodeity]

[ no, three of hearts. >[

11 cards. he can't win this but apparently he's gong to make it as annoying as humanly possible. ]

[windeity]

[WHY. He draws one card and thankfully it only has to be one card since it's the two of hearts and he slams it down on the pile.

And promptly sends the pile of cards flying off the roof.

...well. Okay. Whoops. He'll just...peer over the edge and watch the cards flutter away. Bye cards.]