WEEK ONE: SUNDAY, POST GROUP MEETING

[parodeity]

[ well, after That Meeting was over, dave would have hooked a hand on dirk's arm, said "a'ight, come with me" and dragged him off to an area where they can maybe be alone and have enough room for...whatever...the hell he dragged dirk off for.

dirk gets a measured look before dave crosses his arms - dropping dirk's - and says: ]

Ground rules for comin' with me into dangerous shit: you guard the rear, I'm on point. Solid?

[ before dirk can answer, he adds: ]

You're less familiar with weapons that ain't the damn katana. I'm more familiar with 'em. So, point's me. [ he's tense and hesitant when he continues with: ] ...And you guard my back. [ he's usually more than a little wary about having dirk at his back, so this is. probably progress? ]

Comments

[parodeity]

You didn't want us. [ is implied there. ]

[splinten]

Well, there were two major problems with me havin' kids, one of which is that I don't think I'm fit to be anyone's father, and the second of which you've kinda implied gettin' and not approvin' of so we'll take a pass on.

[His shoulders shrug.]

I wanted a brother. Rose sounds like the kind of kid I wish I were capable of bringing up. Both of you, really; she sounds great and you are way better than I ever imagined coming from my genetic source code. You managed to turn out to be a really good dude despite the negative influence I had on your life, like, a way better dude than I imagined my Bro to be. Everything you tell me about Rose makes me believe she's amazing too.

[parodeity]

What.

[splinten]

...What to what.

[parodeity]

What are you implyin' I've implied.

[splinten]

[...]

That you don't like that I find women romantically unpalatable in favour of my own gender.

['Don't like' UNDERSTATEMENT Dirk thinks Dave is disgusted by it]

[parodeity]

Why do you...oh. [ yeah that made him uncomfortable but that's - ] You in conjunction with sex makes me uncomfortable fullstop.

[ it just makes him think of the fucking smuppets and porn sites and the webcams he got caught up in sometimes, the puppet vids he was an unwilling participant in. dave can joke about sex and the like but the actual reality is kind of too much and he prefers to think of dirk's orientation not at all so far. ]

Not...genders.

[splinten]

[There's a brief pause as he processes this and turns it over and







oh fuck]

Sorry. Uh.

Fuck what he did. I don't know all the details or if there was anything he ever did to make up for it, but it isn't stuff you put a child through.

So. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I won't... bring that sort of thing up again. I didn't plan on it anyway for—the other reason. But I won't now for this one.

Yeah.

[parodeity]

You didn't bring it up. And you can't stop whatever you're already doin'.

[ right. details. dave hates those, but after doing a review of what he just said based off what dirk just said, he makes himself at least clarify just in case: ]

He didn't touch me like that or anything.

[ just like constant attacks with sex puppets and the enforced puppet snuff porn video participation and constant onslaught of...all that. dave does not clarify his statement any further than that though. ]

[splinten]

Yeah okay good. God. [There's a rush while he says it because he hadn't actually thought that and he winced at the very thought.]

I don't know what the point of this was. That you make me laugh more than anyone, I think.

[parodeity]

I don't know who that'd be for me. Maybe Egbert? Rose makes me smile moreso.

[splinten]

In my universe, John was a comedian. To all reports, he was a really stand-up dude, and hilarious in that kinda charmin' cornball sort of way. Top of the line prankster. Jane takes after him in that respect.

[parodeity]

He's the best guy I know. Kind of a dumbass and way too genuine. He doesn't do fronts and he doesn't lie or fake shit about how he feels or what he thinks. Unless he's pullin' shit, but like.

[ he trails off. ]

I don't know why I'm telling you this.

[splinten]

I asked you.

[So, that's part of it, probably.]

[parodeity]

It might be better if I stopped answerin' though.

[splinten]

[Dirk doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to approach it. He's sixteen and a mess and somewhere else he was thirty-something and a monster. Maybe he's a monster too, because he won't let Dave alone. Maybe he should.]

Please don't. You're too much what I wanted too, and more than that. I can't throw that away.

[parodeity]

I can't promise you, though. I can't promise I'll...feel like that about you ever. I can't promise I'll stop...stoppin' myself, whenever I'm reminded how close this is to topplin'.

[ and like. ]

And that's stupid unfair.

[splinten]

I know you can't promise that.

[It hurts and it's sad and he wants so badly to have Dave as a brother, to have his love and his trust and to feel close, to be family with him. But he knows.]

Whether or not it's fair, it isn't on you. If I'm too much what you want and too capable of destroyin' you, then that's because of your Bro. [Because of Dirk, in another life.] It's okay that you feel that way, and that you can't promise it. It'd be unfair of me to demand you throw away thirteen years and change of that experience.

[parodeity]

Then why? Why are you still...I know you won't whenever you freak about things goin' down, but right now, why are you still here?

[splinten]

I tried to let you shut me out. It wasn't something I could accept or handle, and not because of Jason's death. All that did was made immediate what my multi-day depressive fugue had already proven.

Like I said, you're too much, too.

[parodeity]

But that can happen in reverse. [ or like... ] I just...I have tried to save you the trouble, too.

[splinten]

I know. I sort of figure you were tryin' to protect me, too.

[parodeity]

You don't actually deserve...me? A mess. I know I kinda win the like, fucked up disappointment award. You don't deserve that.

[splinten]

I'm pretty sure we have opposite perspectives on why I don't deserve you. From my point of view, I'm the fucked up disappointment and you deserve somethin' better. You're more than I could ever deserve, and I'm just the kind of selfish asshole that wants you anyway.

[parodeity]

You're not a disappointment. You're just...you.