WEEK ONE: SUNDAY, POST GROUP MEETING

[parodeity]

[ well, after That Meeting was over, dave would have hooked a hand on dirk's arm, said "a'ight, come with me" and dragged him off to an area where they can maybe be alone and have enough room for...whatever...the hell he dragged dirk off for.

dirk gets a measured look before dave crosses his arms - dropping dirk's - and says: ]

Ground rules for comin' with me into dangerous shit: you guard the rear, I'm on point. Solid?

[ before dirk can answer, he adds: ]

You're less familiar with weapons that ain't the damn katana. I'm more familiar with 'em. So, point's me. [ he's tense and hesitant when he continues with: ] ...And you guard my back. [ he's usually more than a little wary about having dirk at his back, so this is. probably progress? ]

Comments

[parodeity]

[ he tugs his hand back and crosses his arms. ]

1979s should be first. [ dave looks at the ground, still frowning. ]

[splinten]

The Smithsonian's pretty cool.

[Dirk has deflated, though, and the pain is now just bound up in him. Choking him. He thinks, very much, that he'd like to die. What's the point? Only his promise to Jake to stay alive keeps him going because what does it matter if he keeps a promise to Dave when Dave will never want him?

What does it matter?

He swallows, and holds it in.]

What did I do wrong?

[parodeity]

It's not as ridiculous.

[ dave didn't tell him to rank them based on ridiculous levels. ]

You didn't. It's still just me. [ and the reminders dirk doesn't even mean to give that feel like warnings. ] Do you want to know a secret?

[splinten]

I think it's more ridiculous.

[Okay but Dirk kinda did rank with ridiculousness in mind because Striders.

Anyway he glances over at the pool, not pulling his shades down yet. He is controlling his breathing with a combatant's expertise.]

Sure. Yeah, I'd like to know.

[parodeity]

It's not as cheesy.

[ SO 1979S WINS?

he opens his mouth, pauses, and then lets it shut with a frown. after a second, he says: ]

Everythin' that comes to mind is mostly morbid. I'm tryin' to think if I have any secrets that don't suck.

[splinten]

That makes two of us.

[parodeity]

Thanks.

[ dryly. ]

I always thought celebratin' holidays seemed pretty neat. [ that's still sucky. but at least it doesn't involve death. ] Like...Christmas or whatever. Never done anythin' but send everyone else shit and the last few years I did get stuff. But like...a tree. I always thought would be kind of cool.

[splinten]

Me too. "Shit let's be Santa.' [It's a dumb joke but it meant the world to him.] I wanted to do Christmas with you. From what I could figure out about you guys and your session, we share a birthday. I figured one day we'd be able to have birthday parties together.

I didn't know what you were like, so my efforts to imagine it didn't really get far. But it was a thing I was lookin' forward to.

[parodeity]

We...what. [ oh. why wouldn't that be a thing, he guesses? ] Oh.

I've never had a party, actually. I mean...Rose hung out with me last year, but that was about it. [ A SHRUG. ] Not really a lot of people around.

[splinten]

Obviously none for me, either. [He's quiet a moment.] It's fine, dude. You don't have to do this. Pity isn't exactly a step up.

[parodeity]

That wasn't...what it was. I was goin' to say somethin' else, but it registered that was really fuckin' morbid and halfway creepy.

[splinten]

There was a point long before I started playing Sburb where morbid and creepy stopped being major issues that bothered me.

[parodeity]

I collected dead stuff. Back home. I mean...mummified shit, or dead things in jars. Things stuck in amber.

[splinten]

[Yeah this does not creep him out]

Roxy used to put some of her mutants in jars on her shelfs.

[parodeity]

I liked them because they made me feel more at ease with the idea I'd end up that way.

[ like, also: ]

I thought they were cool, I mean. But that's the secret half.

[splinten]

[Ah.]

Maybe she did too.

[He looks down, at Dave's hands, at his own.]

I'm trying to figure out how you need me to act. I've been trying to show you proof. Unsurprisingly when considered alongside previous efforts, I continue to fail to hit the mark.

If I knew I'd give it to you.

[parodeity]

I won't...

[ ... ]

We've already hit the mark of how many rules I'm willin' to give. I'm already him in this scenario. And I don't know if it even matters how many I say. They don't...change the truth.

[splinten]

You aren't him. You are not the kind of dude I'd be at my worst.

[He's firm about that.]

What's the truth?

[parodeity]

I'm exactly who I was raised to be.

[ dave will argue about this? ]

...The truth is I don't think you can stop remindin' me how this shit's gonna blow up in my face.

[splinten]

If you were that you wouldn't feel anything. You wouldn't have to shut it off.

Except that it isn't. It isn't going to blow up in your face. I can do this, if you'd let me.

[parodeity]

I won't fight it when it does. Shut off.

[ because he halfway expects it. it already happened a little and he should have grabbed on. ]

You're incapable of stoppin' the remindin' me part. I...maybe it won't, but I can't...trust you. Not the way you need.

[splinten]

That doesn't limit to you to what you were raised to be.

[He doesn't say, You said I was on your team. He doesn't say, You said you wouldn't let me drown. Because Dave is a fourteen year old kid with too much on his shoulders and Dirk is sixteen and a half and should be taking care of him. Not the other way around.

Dirk needs to hold it together. Dirk needs to be the one who doesn't fall apart. Dirk needs to give Dave no reason to shut his emotions off, even if it means Dirk is never allowed in.]

I don't want to remind you. It's a shitty thing to do.

[parodeity]

It's not shitty how you're doin' it.

[ like. dave will still die for dirk if need be? that's what a team is. he doesn't have to trust him and he doesn't have to like him, even if dave can't stop himself doing that part, but he will at least die for and fight for anyone he's agreed to take on. he'll try to help when he knows there's something he can do and he can do it.

but he isn't so good at letting people do things for him, or letting them in, because that has historically fucked him over with bro. ]

It's probably more shitty that I can't...see past it. Doesn't change the deal, just means I'm...ready if it breaks.

[splinten]

It won't break. Your Bro made this problem, Dave, not you.

[If it's on anyone here, it's on Dirk. It's the weight of a splinter he has to take.]

[parodeity]

[ ... ]

I'm sorry I can't believe it just over...you bein' yourself. [ "just" over that, and thirteen years he can't ignore or forget. but this isn't a well-told lie; there's genuine regret in dave's voice and his shoulders hunch forward instead of slumping and he wishes he were...

not the mess he is. or that rose was there. ]