WEEK ONE: SUNDAY, POST GROUP MEETING

[parodeity]

[ well, after That Meeting was over, dave would have hooked a hand on dirk's arm, said "a'ight, come with me" and dragged him off to an area where they can maybe be alone and have enough room for...whatever...the hell he dragged dirk off for.

dirk gets a measured look before dave crosses his arms - dropping dirk's - and says: ]

Ground rules for comin' with me into dangerous shit: you guard the rear, I'm on point. Solid?

[ before dirk can answer, he adds: ]

You're less familiar with weapons that ain't the damn katana. I'm more familiar with 'em. So, point's me. [ he's tense and hesitant when he continues with: ] ...And you guard my back. [ he's usually more than a little wary about having dirk at his back, so this is. probably progress? ]

Comments

[splinten]

[As a matter of fact.]

You misinterpreted the questions I asked Craftly. The end result of those is that I realized I have no reason to stay alive for any of it. We'll be spat back into our timelines no matter what happens, so what's the point in stayin' alive to suffer? Given that the timeline rules hold, what's the point of fighting for incentives when our timeline's a dead-end and there's going to be another one where everyone does live? This stupid game won't give me anything I want, and quitting now won't lose me anything. The game is rigged, and there ain't an ounce of justice in it.

There isn't any reason for me to stay alive for any of this. It's just going to be pain and sufferin' and misery until I either die fast or slowly, or the whole thing breaks, and I'm not exactly favourin' my chances if we break it either. I have nothin' to gain in stayin' alive within this game's framework, but I do have a lot to lose.

So the reason I haven't saved myself the trouble of all this shit didn't come from the questions I asked Craftly.

[parodeity]

There's always a reason.

[ to keep going when the timeline goes defunct. it's a pointless hopeless battle and it's always only for the chance of something better somewhere else, but it's a pointless hopeless battle dave has to take up every time. ]

Do you...want me to kill you?

[splinten]

No.

[It's quick, horrified.]

Holy fuck, dude. I wouldn't want to put that on you.






[the irony gods chortle]

[parodeity]

[ i stg dirk ]

Do you want me to just...not hold you to anythin' you agreed to?

[splinten]

I'm not askin' you to let me die, dude. I'm explaining that the reason I'm alive aren't the reasons you thought they were.

You did kinda nix my plan to die for someone else's sake though. [He shrugs.] I thought it'd be nice to land Heroic instead of Just, or just Pathetic.

[parodeity]

People kinda hate that. [ he says, like he doesn't plan to do it. like he didn't do it in the timeline that ended, even though he doesn't know it (can assume it). ]

So...what. Just because I told you it was dumb?

[splinten]

You're plannin' on doing it.

[He says that with confidence because he can tell. Reset Button.]

Not just because. The first plan was to stick around as long as I could for Jake, and then find a way to make use of my death when he was gone. When I saw you were here, I decided to try to live at least as long as you did to support you. Then, when you and Jake were gone, I could leave the playin' field peacefully on my own terms.

I can't, now. You implied it would be betrayin' you. That it'd mean the rest of my afterlife with you never talkin' to me again. That's... I can't do that. I can't betray you. I can't lose you for good in this life and whatever idiot place we go after.

So I'll live as long as I can. I can't let myself just die if that would be a betrayal.

[parodeity]

Dude. I'm essentially betrayin' you every second of every day with...this.

[ GESTURES AT THE SITUATION, LIKE THAT MAKES SENSE. ]

[splinten]

You can't betray me, dude. You didn't make a contract that held you to anythin'.

[parodeity]

This entire thing is extremely unfair to you and you keep goin' "well you may as well turn it up a few thousand notches".

[splinten]

[Hm.]

Because it makes you your Bro in the situation.

[parodeity]

Of course it does! With way too many people to count, but you're gettin' the worst of it.

[splinten]

Why? [He is quiet and thoughtful.] I don't exactly agree, based on what I've seen, but that isn't the point. Why do you feel like you have to be your Bro here, with all these people?

[parodeity]

I don't... [ look ] It's not...exactly.

[ ajwtka;lgk;arkr is an accurate mental assessment right now ]

Because the truth ain't safe. Because mindgames are actually necessary and I don't know how the fuck else to do 'em but make people believe shit that ain't true and keep the things that matter most locked down so they can't find 'em and burn 'em. Because Ems wanted to literally draw up what the dead said to her and put it on the fridge for everyone to see, and Clem told me her role straight up, and Vi didn't blink to do the same, and you did, too.

Because there are people who set me on edge but no one else really minds.

[splinten]

In other words, you're doing it to protect people. Us, even. You have to be cautious and careful and manipulative enough to make up for everyone else.

[parodeity]

But I can't be. I'm not Rose, all I got is experience manipulatin' time loops and...

[ ...well, and. ]

...my best friends, for years. [ that wasn't exactly manipulation, though. ] That was mostly just...creative interpretation of the facts, though.

[splinten]

That doesn't exactly count the same way.

[He can guess what it is. he is pretty sure he knows more about Bro than most do for very specific reasons.]

If you keep going this way, you'll break.

[parodeity]

[ like, duh, but ]

Why d'you say that?

[splinten]

Because I don't want to see you break, first of all. And because I think breaking is counterproductive for your actual goals here.

[parodeity]

No, like, why the fuck d'you think I'm gonna break.

[splinten]

You mean aside from because you obviously are?

[parodeity]

...No I'm not. Why do you think I am??

[ why are they still having this conversation @ striders ]

[splinten]

Dude, you're trying to act like a person you hate to carry an impossible burden. In what universe does that not break a person?

[parodeity]

I'm not tryin', is the thing.

[splinten]

You mean you just are, or are succeeding.