WEEK ONE: SUNDAY, POST GROUP MEETING

[parodeity]

[ well, after That Meeting was over, dave would have hooked a hand on dirk's arm, said "a'ight, come with me" and dragged him off to an area where they can maybe be alone and have enough room for...whatever...the hell he dragged dirk off for.

dirk gets a measured look before dave crosses his arms - dropping dirk's - and says: ]

Ground rules for comin' with me into dangerous shit: you guard the rear, I'm on point. Solid?

[ before dirk can answer, he adds: ]

You're less familiar with weapons that ain't the damn katana. I'm more familiar with 'em. So, point's me. [ he's tense and hesitant when he continues with: ] ...And you guard my back. [ he's usually more than a little wary about having dirk at his back, so this is. probably progress? ]

Comments

[parodeity]

It wasn't 'cause of you. You didn't touch me.

[ it was, clearly, because of dave. ]

[splinten]

So this would've happened if I hadn't done... whatever. [He's not sure.] Offered my pulse?

[parodeity]

Yes. It's a habit. [ ??????????????? he lies about this with a completely straight face and even tone. it was 100% because he wanted to reach out too much and wasn't allowing himself to do so. ]

[splinten]

[Dave is a really good liar and Dirk should, in theory, believe him. Except he doesn't. Is it Dirk's self-loathing that wins out? Maybe. Or maybe he is just got a sense of bullshit.]

Yeah, you are one hell of a good liar but I'm not buyin' this one. Shit.

[parodeity]

[ the fact dave keeps choosing to flawlessly lie about the most blatantly false bullshit to dirk probably does not help his credibility, does it. ]

My nervous habits are not your fault??? [ CONTINUES LYING, ANYWAY, ]

[splinten]

[Not really.]

We can argue that one in a roundabout way.

[parodeity]

You are completely invalidatin' my right to nervous habits.

[ do you wanna go ]

[splinten]

You know perfectly well that I'm not. I am worried that I hurt you, have reasons to believe you're lying to me, and want to figure out how to not hurt you again.

[parodeity]

[ hrrrg. honesty. why the fuck does dirk have it. ]

I just... [ ... ] Can't let myself rely on you like that.

[splinten]

Because you think you'll lose it. [That's what he's getting here.] How can I show you that you won't?

[parodeity]

Or you...won't be around to give it to me. That's a possibility even if you don't die. It's better to only rely on yourself for comfort or whatever.

[ this is not even his opinion for anyone who isn't him tho... ]

...I don't know. Sometimes I almost believe you, but then you do or say somethin' and I remember I can't.

[splinten]

What do I do or say? [He doesn't understand, and he's honest about it, pours it out:] I'm not lying. I'm not... being insincere, or half-assed, I'm not trying to trick you into relying on me or trickin' myself into thinking you can. I genuinely believe I can be here for you. I genuinely want it. I don't know how I'm managin' to remind you of somethin' that isn't true, or at least not true to how I feel.

I don't understand what's happening, but I want to.

[parodeity]

Probably more than I see and hear. But - [ but he sees and hears enough to draw back. ] It's not...your fault.

[splinten]

What is it? If it isn't really my fault.

[parodeity]

...Mine, probably.

[splinten]

Dave. [He's quiet, but adamant.] What am I doing that makes you think you can't trust me? I'm not being insincere, I'm not lyin' to myself. Whoever's fault it is, what do I do?

[parodeity]

You're just...yourself. You just make me believe that the next adrenaline-fueled decision you make will be one that fucks me over. And that's fine, maybe, as long as the girls get out of it free.

[splinten]

It isn't like that. [His voice is quieter still.] I was willin' to steal Jake's weapon from him for this. Not on an adrenaline high, not because of immediate danger. In the cold sober light of this day I was going to leave him unarmed without letting him known just because I'm on your team.

[parodeity]

That's...the only point I started to buy it, earlier. [ but: ] But it's only ever a little while before I don't again. I spent most of the trial waitin' for you to change your damn mind.

[splinten]

[He stares at him in confusion.] About what? What in the trial would make me change my mind?

[parodeity]

That's...just, things.

[ ok, dave. ]

Look. It ain't relevant until it happens, okay?

[splinten]

It's pretty clearly relevant before it happens, because you insistence that it will happen means there's an extra wall made out of the same thing Captain America's shield is.

Is it Jake?

[parodeity]

Vibranium.

[splinten]

I know it's Vibranium. Is it Jake? [He's quiet still but his jaw is tight, his spine tense.] Do you want me to... abandon him? Just, not even—do you want me to stop havin' anything to do with him? [He flips up his shades, and he is in so much pain but he is so, so sincere.] I'll do it if that's what you tell me to do. It'd be like cutting off both my arms, but I'd do it. That's the loyalty I offered you. That's the loyalty you've been given.

Is that what you want?

[parodeity]

Technically it's a Vibranium steel alloy, I think.

[ "so this egg looking thing"
"it's not an egg!!!!"
"so anyway the eggy thing"

maybe not the point but that's what he has just decided to latch onto. ]

What I want is Rose. [ he picks at random. there's a thousand things he wants - although maybe rose isn't random because that's been a constant desire, not even background noise but always present and too-loud. ]