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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER | RED | #E00707
TEXT | ACTION

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[parodeity]

[ dave gets no less tense but no more tense. ]

Armageddon.

[windeity]

[He grins a little and starts to draw the opening scene from Armageddon but in paint.]

Why that one?

[parodeity]

Because you absolutely still know the script by heart. [ he shifts away from the contact before john can and moves onto his stomach instead, crossing his arms in front of him to rest his chin on them. ]

[windeity]

[He stays at Dave's side as he draws.] Did you even see that one?

[parodeity]

Once, years ago. [ he remembers the broad strokes but not much else. ]

[windeity]

Okay. So...it starts with this huge meteor shower that destroys a space shuttle. [He starts to draw a bunch of meteors and several of them crashing into the ground.] NASA realizes that the meteors were from an asteroid belt and the asteroid itself, "Dottie" is the one who fucked it up. The problem is that the asteroid's on its way to collide with the earth in 18 days and that would wipe out all of humanity. Like the dinosaurs.

[...he draws a shitty stegosaurus.] But, NASA comes up with this really good plan to try and split the asteroid in two so it flies past the earth. [He also draws what looks like a handsaw.]

[parodeity]

This already sounds scientifically improbable.

[windeity]

Okay, but when has Hollywood ever made anything scientifically accurate? [Just a Look. He opens a new window though and begins drawing again. This time it's a man.] So while they have this stupid idea, NASA contacts Bruce Willis's character, Harry Stamper. He's the best deep-sea oil driller on earth and so they want his help. He's like "yeah okay, I need all of NASA to help though" and NASA says they will once their list of criteria's met.

NASA's plan is to launch two space orbiters around the moon to approach the asteroid from behind. [He's drawing the moon, the orbiters, and the asteroid then. The asteroid has a caption of it screaming in surprise.]

[parodeity]

I can live in hope someday it'd be a thing? [ he just tips his head sideways on his arms, watching the "movie". ]

[windeity]

[He's drawing the next scene, but it's not really clear what it is yet.] Well unless someday you are working in Hollywood I am pretty sure that is not going to be a thing because real science is not always that interesting.

[parodeity]

Post scratch Dave apparently did. [ he's drawn in on himself and careful not to touch john and the information is almost flippant. ]

[windeity]

[A confused sound.] Who told you that? [Ah...back to maybe the crux of the problem. His hand over the trackpad is slower, but he's still drawing so he doesn't draw Dave's attention.]

[parodeity]

Jake. Ask him to show you his tattoo sometime. [ because he sure. has one. ]

[windeity]

Why the hell does he have a tattoo? [He's making a face.] We talked about stuff but, like, not that.

[The drawing is a space station with a few stick people tumbling around.] So anyway. NASA puts Harry and his team of guys through some intense astronaut training program while Harry's construction team works on making the drillers they're going to use for the asteroid. They're called armadillos. Anyway while all of that is going on, there's this weird thing about Harry and the head NASA scientist, Truman, being really suspicious of Ben Affleck's character, Frost, who's dating Harry's daughter, Grace. That's Liv Tyler.

But that's not important because a meteorite destroys Shanghai and the government's like "oh fuck, now what, we have to tell people we're under attack!" [He draws a bunch of dragon creatures screaming that are supposed to represent Shanghai ig. And also the government (stick people in suits) screaming.] The shuttles get launched and show up at the space station and they start refueling them but they only have one guy doing it for some reason. His name's Lev.

[Drawing, drawing...] Jake wanted to hang out. I told him we could hang out in the day but he could hang out with his housemates at night. He didn't seem that ready to go hang out with Dirk.

[parodeity]

Oh. [ "got it" tone of oh and dave mentally makes a note to figure out plans. should he be trying to spend time with dirk? fuck. probably. it's less stressful to consider that ochako had wanted to do some dinner thing and maybe he should hit up ignis or okuyasu about some of the newbies.

it's a little soothing to realize there are plenty of distractions to be had. if he's careful he'll never need to stop moving. ]

They both seemed kinda awkward I guess. Why don't the government guys have shades?

[windeity]

[...no, he recognizes that tone by now?]

I mean...I told him that so he didn't try to stay with us at the house. [Dave????] I don't mind hanging out with him sometimes because he's nice and he's kind of funny, but I kind of wanted to see what you thought about all of it before anything else was decided.

[parodeity]

Did you want him to stay here? Dirk moved out already.

[ on his roommates, dave means. the two thoughts are disjointed but he means dirk probably isn't into moving in and dave kind of definitely prefers dirk's puppets be quarantined several blocks away. ]

[windeity]

No? We already decided the house only fits the right four people. [He's also drawing shades on the government men.] I am just saying...I don't know. It was kind of weird talking to them today since they seem to know stuff about us but they were also kind of okay.

[parodeity]

They already know I'm me. [ helpfully. ] Jake seems nice. Dirk...also seems nice.

[ he's weirded the fuck out and wants to pretend he isn't. ]

It's probably going to be a bit weird for both of us for a while. An AU version of someone isn't the same.

[windeity]

So we're the AU versions? [He makes a face.] Obviously you're you. I did not know that was up for debate. Anyway they're both nice. Confused, but we were confused when we got here, too.

[parodeity]

I'm not me - that's not what I meant by that. I mean, it's maybe weird...like, what if your Dad showed up, but he was a teenager from a different universe who doesn't have any overlapping memories with you - except he does, with the version of you that's you? I meant Dirk and I are maybe a little whatever figuring that out.

[windeity]

What are you--you mean from a different timeline? The you from the other timeline that is not actually you but a different Dave? Also Jake I think is maybe technically like my dad but that's weird to think about so we stopped thinking about it.

[parodeity]

He is, genetically speaking. But it doesn't mean much when your actual Dad is your dad in every way that counts.

[windeity]

Okay, so all of that aside. You and Dirk are both in a weird spot because you were technically each other's dads.

[parodeity]

Yeah, maybe. [ he quiets down. even more. ] So what happens next?

[ in the movie ]