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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER | RED | #E00707
TEXT | ACTION

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[windeity]

Why the hell does he have a tattoo? [He's making a face.] We talked about stuff but, like, not that.

[The drawing is a space station with a few stick people tumbling around.] So anyway. NASA puts Harry and his team of guys through some intense astronaut training program while Harry's construction team works on making the drillers they're going to use for the asteroid. They're called armadillos. Anyway while all of that is going on, there's this weird thing about Harry and the head NASA scientist, Truman, being really suspicious of Ben Affleck's character, Frost, who's dating Harry's daughter, Grace. That's Liv Tyler.

But that's not important because a meteorite destroys Shanghai and the government's like "oh fuck, now what, we have to tell people we're under attack!" [He draws a bunch of dragon creatures screaming that are supposed to represent Shanghai ig. And also the government (stick people in suits) screaming.] The shuttles get launched and show up at the space station and they start refueling them but they only have one guy doing it for some reason. His name's Lev.

[Drawing, drawing...] Jake wanted to hang out. I told him we could hang out in the day but he could hang out with his housemates at night. He didn't seem that ready to go hang out with Dirk.

[parodeity]

Oh. [ "got it" tone of oh and dave mentally makes a note to figure out plans. should he be trying to spend time with dirk? fuck. probably. it's less stressful to consider that ochako had wanted to do some dinner thing and maybe he should hit up ignis or okuyasu about some of the newbies.

it's a little soothing to realize there are plenty of distractions to be had. if he's careful he'll never need to stop moving. ]

They both seemed kinda awkward I guess. Why don't the government guys have shades?

[windeity]

[...no, he recognizes that tone by now?]

I mean...I told him that so he didn't try to stay with us at the house. [Dave????] I don't mind hanging out with him sometimes because he's nice and he's kind of funny, but I kind of wanted to see what you thought about all of it before anything else was decided.

[parodeity]

Did you want him to stay here? Dirk moved out already.

[ on his roommates, dave means. the two thoughts are disjointed but he means dirk probably isn't into moving in and dave kind of definitely prefers dirk's puppets be quarantined several blocks away. ]

[windeity]

No? We already decided the house only fits the right four people. [He's also drawing shades on the government men.] I am just saying...I don't know. It was kind of weird talking to them today since they seem to know stuff about us but they were also kind of okay.

[parodeity]

They already know I'm me. [ helpfully. ] Jake seems nice. Dirk...also seems nice.

[ he's weirded the fuck out and wants to pretend he isn't. ]

It's probably going to be a bit weird for both of us for a while. An AU version of someone isn't the same.

[windeity]

So we're the AU versions? [He makes a face.] Obviously you're you. I did not know that was up for debate. Anyway they're both nice. Confused, but we were confused when we got here, too.

[parodeity]

I'm not me - that's not what I meant by that. I mean, it's maybe weird...like, what if your Dad showed up, but he was a teenager from a different universe who doesn't have any overlapping memories with you - except he does, with the version of you that's you? I meant Dirk and I are maybe a little whatever figuring that out.

[windeity]

What are you--you mean from a different timeline? The you from the other timeline that is not actually you but a different Dave? Also Jake I think is maybe technically like my dad but that's weird to think about so we stopped thinking about it.

[parodeity]

He is, genetically speaking. But it doesn't mean much when your actual Dad is your dad in every way that counts.

[windeity]

Okay, so all of that aside. You and Dirk are both in a weird spot because you were technically each other's dads.

[parodeity]

Yeah, maybe. [ he quiets down. even more. ] So what happens next?

[ in the movie ]

[windeity]

[...he kind of feels like maybe he messed up by bringing it up, so he leaves it alone and begins drawing what looks like a big fire.]

So what happens is that while Lev is refueling everything, a huge fire happens which forces everybody to evacuate in the shuttles before the space station explodes. The problem is that the shuttles are set up so they head around the moon like they're supposed to.

[The next drawing is a bunch of debris and wreckage. This was maybe not a great choice of a movie, Dave.] Anyway, so one of the shuttles, the Independence, has its engines wrecked by debris and it crash-lands onto the asteroid itself. Grace freaks out because she thinks Frost was on the shuttle and got himself killed.

[The next drawing is of three people.] But unknown to everybody, Frost, Lev, and another guy from Harry's crew all lived. So they head off to try and find the Freedom, the other shuttle.

[Another drawing, another shuttle.]Freedom landed on the asteroid fine but it overshot its target zone and landed on a metallic field that's harder to drill through. Because of that, the actual drilling falls way behind and the military starts freaking out. [A few military men appear on the screen.] The military has a backup plan called "secondary protocol" which is basically their way of saying they play to remotely detonate a weapon at the asteroid's surface even though Truman and Harry keep saying it's a dumb idea.

Truman stalls as long as he can while Harry has to go talk to the shuttle commander, Sharp, to get him to disarm the remote trigger. And because everybody's in a big hurry, the crew accidentally hits a gas pocket and blows up their armadillo, launching them into space. [A floating armadillo goes across the screen...]

While this is happening, another meteorite blows up Paris. [A broke eiffel tower is drawn.] Everybody's at a loss until Independence's armadillo shows up and Frost is driving it! They get to the required depth for the bomb but there's still a bunch of debris floating around that damages the triggering device.

[...a pause.] It means that somebody has to stay behind and manually detonate the bomb. Frost gets picked to go, but as he and Harry are exiting the airlock, Harry rips out Frost's air hose.

[A drawing of two guys and their tearful departure.] Harry tells Frost that he's the son Harry never had and gives him his blessing to marry Grace. [The drawing turns into a picture of what's supposed to be Harry and Grace. He probably has like 16 windows open by now.] Harry gets to talk to Grace one last time before the Freedom moves a safe distance out of the way and Harry triggers the bomb. His life flashes before his eyes!

[A drawing of an eyeball with what's supposed to be a scene from life. It just kind of looks like stick-Liv Tyler.] The bomb breaks up the asteroid and it avoids colliding with the earth. The Freedom shuttle returns to earth and the crew is treated like a bunch of heroes. True to Harry's wishes, Frost and Grace get married and their wedding has photos of the lost crew.

[He draws a wedding.] And that's how Bruce Willis saved the world.

[parodeity]

[ was it wrong? who knows. dave doesn't interrupt the movie. he's quiet and no less tense than he was at the start, before john got him to calm down a little. before he'd tensed up again and withdrawn.

when he finally speaks, though, it's very dry and slightly amused. ]

...you totally used to pretend you were Frost, huh.

[windeity]

Dude, shut up. [But he's grinning anyway.] Maybe a little. What's wrong with that?

[parodeity]

Didn't say there was anythin' wrong with it, bro. It's very you. I can just about picture little John staring breathlessly at Liv on the tv screen, picturing how if it were him who was Frost he'd manage to save Bruce Willis, too. Save the guy, get the girl?

[windeity]

[A shrug.] I just don't like thinking about not being able to save anybody. Maybe they could have rigged it so Harry was on a zipline and could be pulled out before the bomb detonated fully or maybe they could have sent another device in instead. It just seems kind of...I don't know, sad? That these people get to keep living their lives because someone sacrificed themselves. I get that is what sacrifice means but it still feels unfair.

[parodeity]

The part where other people get to keep living their lives is the part that matters.

[windeity]

Even if their lives are a little emptier because of the people they're missing?

[parodeity]

...Yes. Better than a total party kill.

[windeity]

[He doesn't even know how to argue that. So he kind of goes quiet before he shifts to lay on his stomach, too, laptop being pushed forward and John staring at it. He doesn't bother moving away but he frowns lightly.]

I am not sure you and I will ever agree on that.

[parodeity]

It won't always matter. [ it's softly said. ] After this is all over, are you gonna keep that picture?

[windeity]

Of course I am. Dumbass. Why would I ask for it if I was not going to keep it? [That's easier to argue than if it will or won't matter.]

[parodeity]

I don't know. You do dumb shit sometimes. [ rude.

he opens his mouth to add something else but thinks better of it, instead reaching out to idly draw pretty much nothing comprehensible in a new tab. he's getting more restless than he was to start with, but it's all pointless energy under his skin and dave doesn't fidget so much as he acknowledges he'd still rather be in the roof. ]

[windeity]

[...well. Okay. He doesn't...really know what to do. He doesn't really know how to reach out to someone who keeps dodging and he thinks about what Guren said to him a while ago. It's not the first time he's thought the whole thing is unfair.]

...yeah, I guess so. [Like. What else do you say to that? Arguing maybe isn't helpful. He doesn't know what Dave's actually doing or what he wants. He was clingy at first and that was, like, weird, but it was fine and kind of understandable. And now he's back to aloof and John kind of feels like an idiot. So. That's cool.

He looks at the roof of their fort and he kind of wants to kick himself for how stupid and childish it is. In the end, he rolls onto his back to stare at the roof instead.]

...what is it, dude? [What's bothering him, what's freaking him out, what stupid thing is John doing, etc.]