recollé ic inbox 3.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[parodeity]

...Are your science grades that bad? [ because he is ]

[windeity]

I'm passing my classes, it's fine. Seriously, quit it. [Never mind he clearly should just throw Dave out of the car himself.]

[parodeity]

[ okay he clearly wants to ask more??? and is frowning. but john basically told him to shut up, so. he

shuts up ]

[windeity]

[...]

Dave! [Ugh that was not a "shut up entirely"???] I mean it. What is going on?

[parodeity]

[ "seriously, quit it" will always be taken seriously, john ]

With what? [ the monotone is maybe a little frustrated since he. doesn't know what answer john wants, admittedly, or what's even happening at this point. his right hand raises a little and hovers, uncertain, before he reaches up to grip the wrist of the hand on his jaw. ]

[windeity]

[He pauses because he takes that as a sign to maybe stop touching him, so his fingers go a bit loose on Dave's face even if he doesn't exactly pull away.]

You. You completely spaced on me and yeah, sometimes you are doing whatever and you talk to yourself and get lost but it has never been this bad. And you're not sleeping and you're acting pretty weird right now.

[parodeity]

[ okay cool that's the opposite of what dave wanted so he does the thing where his breathing goes uneven again and his fingers tighten for a second before he drops his hand, uncertain if he fucked up again or not and waiting for john to pull back. ]

...Those things are entirely unrelated.

[windeity]

[So much of his life with Dave Strider is reading body language and non-verbal cues that it can be exhausting, but at least he gets what "not breathing" means. So. Dave's breathing goes uneven and John's fingers cup his face again, tentatively brushing against his jaw to see if that changes anything. The fuck, Dave.

(The fuck, John?)]

Then what is it? I am not driving us anywhere until I at least know that part. [...] Please?

[parodeity]

[ well. dave leans into the touch so there's that, even if he absolutely does not reach back out with his right hand on the grounds last time that nearly made john stop. ]

You have really pretty eyes.

[ ..............

lmao fuck ]

I mean - that is not what I meant. Not that you don't but I didn't mean to say that - oh my fucking god - [ no can't really save that one??? ] - I just. Have not seen blue eyes in a while.

[ and maybe that is not the portion john wanted an answer for but too bad it's easier than the sleep thing and the first thing to get blurted out when john's like, staring at him still. ]

[windeity]

[Okay well first of all, it really is like living with two cats because John's pretty sure Mewpac would do the same thing if he pet her under the chin. But second of all.

Well. Second of all. He's just going to be quiet because that sure is a thing and he doesn't quite know how to respond, so he lets Dave fumble for a while and it doesn't really register what he's saying about blue eyes. They're too close, the car's too small, he doesn't want the thoughts currently creeping up in the back of his head and so he picks the easy thing to say.]

Holy fuck, my eyes changed back?

[parodeity]

[ fuck off john's the one who apparently has dave's left wrist in his grasp and the face cradling thing? he initiated half this stupidity. why did he initiate this stupidity.

dave's voice is that devastatingly dry tone he uses when he's being sarcastic (or genuine): ]

Killer weapons locked and reloaded, yeah.

[ that's what he called them to eleanor, like, at the narukami's party because dave is...

dave... ]

[windeity]

[Because Dave started wigging out when John wanted to pull away from the face cradling thing? So no, shut up. Everything's fine and stupid. He blinks a few times because he's genuinely confused and he turns to glance in the rearview mirror, jolting just slightly at the sight of his own eyes.]

Whoa. But...they were still gray this morning. I checked. [...hold on.] Also what?

[Yeah you told Eleanor, dude, not him. Explain.]

[parodeity]

What, what?

[ like a fucking idiot he doesn't quite realize what he said was at all "dave, why". ]

and here we are at 10k.

[windeity]

"Locked and reloaded"? [Another eyebrow raise.] I am not sure they are killer weapons of any kind...unless at some point due to godtier bullshit I actually develop laser vision. Is that a thing? At some point in the future do I go around zapping people with my eyes? I do not remember that part.

[parodeity]

What? No. It just means your eyes are attractive, dumbass. [ dave rolls his own eyes, behind his shades. ] You know, killer weapon if you are attemptin' to seduce people, which you are not - you know, like a wink and it blares in the background: shot through the heart and you're to blame, you give love a bad name - but eye lasers aren't a - well, they aren't a thing for any of us. Mostly. I think?

[ why so uncertain...but look, it's possible someone developed stupid eye lasers and didn't inform him, or that he just hasn't remembered it yet. SOUNDS PLAUSIBLE... ]

[windeity]

[Give him time to look in the rearview mirror to get a good look now that the color's back.]

I really hope not because that would just be the icing on the shitcake known as our past lives. For all we know though one of the trolls had something like that. [He doesn't really want to know though. Please save him from Homestuck.] You think my eyes are attractive?

[parodeity]

Pretty sure the freaky eyed psychic one did. [ there is no escape from homestuck.

weirdly, confirming the other part doesn't actually fluster him as much as john's eyes do, so: ]

Duh? You can go out and properly break people's hearts now. I'm sure the girls will line up to swoon. Obviously only if I am not nearby, since I'm still hotter.

[ things he doesn't believe: the part about being hotter AND YET HE WILL STICK TO THIS STORY ]

[windeity]

That description means jack shit, dude. [But fine, whatever, he'll focus on the other part maybe except for the fact it makes his heart skip a beat for no reason and he continues staring at himself for a moment before glancing back at Dave.]

Whatever, I could still get girls to swoon even if you were around. I should not be as startled as I am, but it has been over two months since I've seen my own eyes the way they should be.

[parodeity]

Wanna bet?

[ n o

it's not like he doesn't believe john would 100% win out so why does his traitor mouth say these things he doesn't even want to do or commit to

but at least they are way the fuck away from the topic of sleep. ]

[windeity]

We could test it at ninja warrior training today. We will be seeing a bunch of people anyway. [Give it a few minutes, Dave, they'll loop back around.]

[parodeity]

All right, fine. I'll get a date before you do.

[ dave you don't even fucking want a date????? you don't want to lose? whatever ]

[windeity]

Whoa what? Who said anything about a date? I just meant asking people who was hotter! [Which also sounds dumb in retrospect but whatever.

[parodeity]

Oh, I’ve done that before? People agree it’s me.

[ - dave. ]

[windeity]

You've. Asked people which of us is hotter? Wait who the--why?

[parodeity]

Because you refuse to acknowledge I'm hotter than you but the rest of the world isn't blind???

[ idefk save him ]