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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[windeity]

How in the fuck do you know what I do or don't need, Dave? [It's snapped a little but it's a real question as he drives, heading toward the training grounds for ninja warrior.] And who says I need a reason anyway?

[parodeity]

Because you just pointed out - [ that it would be to get dave to go the fuck to sleep and he doesn't. want that. he doesn't want john doing all these things and running himself ragged when dave does fuck all in compensation. he doesn't deserve that, holy shit. ] You don't. Do whatever you want, as long as it makes you happy, okay?

[windeity]

I'm trying and you are making it really hard! All the time! For some reason! [His hands grip on the wheel.] What the hell do I have to say? That I want you to sleep in my bed again because I freak out when I can't hear you breathing because that's fucking creepy to say out loud and oh my god, can we pretend I did not actually say that? Cool, thanks. I want you to sleep in my bed and I do not mind giving you rides or picking you up from work or stuff like that. That kind of shit makes me happy. How is that not clear?

[parodeity]

You can - [ dave always knows the time. he's never confused about when he is or how long it has been from any given second of any given day, and he's constantly aware of how much time he has, and how much time anyone else has, and it's - weird.

dirk used to feel souls. ]

- Your aspect is kicking in. [ heir of breath. ]

[windeity]

[He doesn't reply outside of taking a breath.]

...that does not address literally anything I said. [But it's tired and defeated because yes, it sure is.]

[parodeity]

[ he opts not to discuss the part where john can't hear him breathing, because he thinks maybe john means from. across the room. or when dave fucks off for the night. ]

...No favors?

[windeity]

Do you need a favor because you probably have one or two left. [He doesn't, but he's just getting increasingly frustrated. He can tell when Dave isn't in the room, when Dave isn't asleep, when Dave stops breathing, all that fun stuff. Fuck his aspect.]

[parodeity]

We both know I don't, and that's not what I was asking.

[windeity]

Then what?

[parodeity]

It's not, like...a favor to me. [ dave in john's bed. he's confirming that. ]

[windeity]

[He swears softly under his breath.]

No. It's not a favor to you. It is something I am asking you for, too.

[parodeity]

Oh. [ just "oh". ] Okay?

[ jfc ]

[windeity]

[....internal shrieking.]

Okay? I...it's fine if you do not want to do that, it was just something--yeah. It's fine. Forget it, I can go back to sleeping by myself.

[parodeity]

But you just said - [ aggravated noise. ] Stop changin' your mind!

[ hello dave strider is a hypocrite ]

[windeity]

You’re the one who keeps making it weird and like I should change my mind! Also how is this any different than when you do the same to me?

[parodeity]

[ OH MY GOD ]

I'm not makin' it weird! I want to fuckin' sleep with you, god! But not if you're just doing it because of me.

[windeity]

I'm not doing it just because of you! It was never just because of you, it was for both of us and that was the whole point! [Cool, glad they're driving and just yelling at each other.]

[parodeity]

[ excuse you dave is not yelling he is just enunciating carefully in a speaking tone??? ]

You sleep fine without it! [ why can't they agree on a thing and then like

not argue about the thing they agreed on

idiots ]

[windeity]

[With exclamation points and it may as well be a Dave-version of yelling. So yeah. That's cool.]

How do you know that? Stop talking about what I do and don't do when you don't ask!

[parodeity]

Like I'm allowed!

[windeity]

[What if he just slams on the brakes and stops in the middle of an empty street to stare at him???]

What the fuck. You are blowing this out of proportion for, like, no reason!

[parodeity]

Well, so are you! [ also, immediately: ] Pull over if you can't multitask, John, christ. Or let me drive.

[windeity]

I can drive just fine! [So also, shut up!] How am I blowing this out of proportion? What did I do to blow anything out of proportion here?

[parodeity]

You - [ and what's his argument here, that he's willing to say? like, it's not like he can actually complain about john pulling back when he's doing the same damn thing, or about why, or about any of it. ] - never mind, you're right, sorry, my fault. If you can drive, let's go. We're already running behind schedule.

[windeity]

[...what if he just buries his face in his hands and muffles a loud yell.]

Jesus christ, Dave, not everything is your fault and we are not behind schedule! I can tell time, too!

[And he suddenly moves and leans over the center console to grab Dave's face.]

Do you want to sleep with me, yes or no?