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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[parodeity]

I have not magically gotten more hot since then, so duh??

[ how far will dave go to distract john: a saga ]

[windeity]

How do you know that? [Maybe they should both consider shutting up tbh.]

[parodeity]

[ ??????? ? ? ??????????? ]

What, you think I've gotten hotter?

[windeity]

[!!!!!!!!!!!]

This is stupid and quit trying to change the subject! [Again!!!] This was about you not sleeping, not about if you're hotter than me.

[parodeity]

Wait, you think I'm hot now???

[ NO IT WAS ABOUT BEING HOTTER ]

[windeity]

[WHAT IF HE JUST LEAVES AND MAKES DAVE DRIVE HIMSELF HOME.]

I mean, objectively speaking, I think there are plenty of people who would think you are attractive, sure. [What if he just gives a half-answer.]

[parodeity]

And you're one of them?

[ DAVE TRIED TO LEAVE THE CAR ALREADY???? ]

[windeity]

[Okay but, fun idea: what if John lays in front of the car and Dave runs him over so he doesn't have to answer this question.

Instead, he's just going to lift an eyebrow and turn this around.]

Do you want me to be one of them? [Let's see how Dave likes his own tactics used on him.]

[parodeity]

That wouldn't change the answer you apparently have. [ and he halfway grins, amused. ] You think I'm hot.

[ "this eggy looking thing"

he always picks the dumbest tactic. ]

[windeity]

[Ughhhhh.]

Yes, fine, I can admit that you are hot and people probably appreciate that. [BUT!!!!] You're the one who kept staring at my eyes! What was that all about? [SOS etc etc.]

[parodeity]

I already told you your eyes were attractive and I wasn't expecting them to be blue again, that's a weak fuckin' gambit.

[ dave, you would know, ]

So you're "people" in this scenario?? Are you goin' to defend me to strangers with Shouto from now on?

[windeity]

Whatever, you could have said something instead of just staring at me for like ten minutes! Also no, I think Shouto is doing well enough as the one-man Strider Defense Squad. Why does it matter this much?

[parodeity]

Because you keep dodging the question.

[ THIS IS A FIVE YEAR OLD'S RESPONSE, BUT THAT IS WHY IT MATTERS SO MUCH. also, he kind of wants to know? ]

[windeity]

Because it's a weird question. [But he leans back in his seat, staring out the windshield and chewing the inside of his cheek.]

Seriously. What difference is it going to make knowing that? I am just curious.

[parodeity]

[ that's also sure a question. dave can't come up with anything except: ]

I mean, I'd think you were crazy, but that's about it. [ because honestly, he doesn't actually believe in half the shit he says about himself.

also how much is john even still touching dave at this point. ]

[windeity]

Why would that be a crazy thing? [This conversation just got weird again. He's still holding Dave's wrist but he's dropped the hand from his face just because it got kind of uncomfortable realistically.]

[parodeity]

[ then dave has shifted further back to lean against the car door, drawing back automatically but leaving his left hand where it is. ]

Bad taste. We need to get going.

[windeity]

[What the fuck why is this happening.]

I think you already implied I had bad taste when we first met. [Crazy girls who boss him around. But he doesn't quite know what to do.]

Are you going to try and sleep at least?

[parodeity]

I never said you had bad taste about people you're romantically into, I just guessed your type, accurately.

[ he doesn't think he gave an opinion, anyway. ]

No time. [ he could make time, but it's not like it would help? ] We have another engagement, remember?

[windeity]

[Dave are you stupid or...

...John's not going to argue because he's too tired and stressed about literally all of this.]

After that. Saturdays are mine, right? So I am calling in that I want to take a nap after training. Both of us.

[parodeity]

[ wow he's not stupid? but he does believe he is not john's type in any remote sense of the word since 1) he is a dude and 2) he doesn't meet the other parameters he spouted at john back in the day. arguing about whether or not he's aesthetically pleasing has nothing to do with that. ]

Fine. [ having no intent of actually sleeping in said room, but whatever, he'll compliantly go back there and exist. ] If that's what you want, we can go lie in our beds after training.

[windeity]

Bed. [It's a correction and he finally lets go of Dave's wrist so that he can drive the damn car.] Yours, mine, I don't care. I'm not going to let you skip out on sleeping like you've been doing for the last several days, that does not even begin to address the problem.

[parodeity]

I am perfectly capable of sleepin' by myself. [ source, but okay apparently this is our new defensible topic. he draws his hand back and fumbles with the seatbelt for a second, hands still a little cold, before slouching and looking out the window. ] October's long over, Egbert.

[ and dave is all out of favors. it was easy to keep up for a while after when john kept dragging him over and dave made himself believe it wasn't just for dave but it's harder to agree to something he's pretty certain someone else doesn't need. ]

If we don't leave soon we're going to be late, y'know.

[windeity]

You're doing a shit job at proving it. [It's mumbled and he's turning the engine again to start the car instead of leaving it in idle mode, but he still doesn't go anywhere.]

And I know October is over, but I just thought. [What, John? He doesn't finish though and he stares out the window again.] Whatever, sorry. Forget it.

[parodeity]

This is my usual sleep schedule, we've been over this. [ his hands go in his pockets and he's drawing back again, but dave does glance over. ] What?