recollé ic inbox 3.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[windeity]

[Because Dave started wigging out when John wanted to pull away from the face cradling thing? So no, shut up. Everything's fine and stupid. He blinks a few times because he's genuinely confused and he turns to glance in the rearview mirror, jolting just slightly at the sight of his own eyes.]

Whoa. But...they were still gray this morning. I checked. [...hold on.] Also what?

[Yeah you told Eleanor, dude, not him. Explain.]

[parodeity]

What, what?

[ like a fucking idiot he doesn't quite realize what he said was at all "dave, why". ]

and here we are at 10k.

[windeity]

"Locked and reloaded"? [Another eyebrow raise.] I am not sure they are killer weapons of any kind...unless at some point due to godtier bullshit I actually develop laser vision. Is that a thing? At some point in the future do I go around zapping people with my eyes? I do not remember that part.

[parodeity]

What? No. It just means your eyes are attractive, dumbass. [ dave rolls his own eyes, behind his shades. ] You know, killer weapon if you are attemptin' to seduce people, which you are not - you know, like a wink and it blares in the background: shot through the heart and you're to blame, you give love a bad name - but eye lasers aren't a - well, they aren't a thing for any of us. Mostly. I think?

[ why so uncertain...but look, it's possible someone developed stupid eye lasers and didn't inform him, or that he just hasn't remembered it yet. SOUNDS PLAUSIBLE... ]

[windeity]

[Give him time to look in the rearview mirror to get a good look now that the color's back.]

I really hope not because that would just be the icing on the shitcake known as our past lives. For all we know though one of the trolls had something like that. [He doesn't really want to know though. Please save him from Homestuck.] You think my eyes are attractive?

[parodeity]

Pretty sure the freaky eyed psychic one did. [ there is no escape from homestuck.

weirdly, confirming the other part doesn't actually fluster him as much as john's eyes do, so: ]

Duh? You can go out and properly break people's hearts now. I'm sure the girls will line up to swoon. Obviously only if I am not nearby, since I'm still hotter.

[ things he doesn't believe: the part about being hotter AND YET HE WILL STICK TO THIS STORY ]

[windeity]

That description means jack shit, dude. [But fine, whatever, he'll focus on the other part maybe except for the fact it makes his heart skip a beat for no reason and he continues staring at himself for a moment before glancing back at Dave.]

Whatever, I could still get girls to swoon even if you were around. I should not be as startled as I am, but it has been over two months since I've seen my own eyes the way they should be.

[parodeity]

Wanna bet?

[ n o

it's not like he doesn't believe john would 100% win out so why does his traitor mouth say these things he doesn't even want to do or commit to

but at least they are way the fuck away from the topic of sleep. ]

[windeity]

We could test it at ninja warrior training today. We will be seeing a bunch of people anyway. [Give it a few minutes, Dave, they'll loop back around.]

[parodeity]

All right, fine. I'll get a date before you do.

[ dave you don't even fucking want a date????? you don't want to lose? whatever ]

[windeity]

Whoa what? Who said anything about a date? I just meant asking people who was hotter! [Which also sounds dumb in retrospect but whatever.

[parodeity]

Oh, I’ve done that before? People agree it’s me.

[ - dave. ]

[windeity]

You've. Asked people which of us is hotter? Wait who the--why?

[parodeity]

Because you refuse to acknowledge I'm hotter than you but the rest of the world isn't blind???

[ idefk save him ]

[windeity]

[Oh?]

You've never asked me, actually.

[parodeity]

You refused to admit I was hot and have great legs that one time?

[ hey what if we end this thread ]

[windeity]

I hope you are not talking about the first day that I met you.

[parodeity]

I have not magically gotten more hot since then, so duh??

[ how far will dave go to distract john: a saga ]

[windeity]

How do you know that? [Maybe they should both consider shutting up tbh.]

[parodeity]

[ ??????? ? ? ??????????? ]

What, you think I've gotten hotter?

[windeity]

[!!!!!!!!!!!]

This is stupid and quit trying to change the subject! [Again!!!] This was about you not sleeping, not about if you're hotter than me.

[parodeity]

Wait, you think I'm hot now???

[ NO IT WAS ABOUT BEING HOTTER ]

[windeity]

[WHAT IF HE JUST LEAVES AND MAKES DAVE DRIVE HIMSELF HOME.]

I mean, objectively speaking, I think there are plenty of people who would think you are attractive, sure. [What if he just gives a half-answer.]

[parodeity]

And you're one of them?

[ DAVE TRIED TO LEAVE THE CAR ALREADY???? ]

[windeity]

[Okay but, fun idea: what if John lays in front of the car and Dave runs him over so he doesn't have to answer this question.

Instead, he's just going to lift an eyebrow and turn this around.]

Do you want me to be one of them? [Let's see how Dave likes his own tactics used on him.]