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[parodeity]

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Comments

[parodeity]

Do your worst. Also, I think we would actually wear out a high five bein' awesome at the volume we'd have to high five over one of us puttin' our foot in our mouth? Like. Jesus fuckin' christ can you even imagine? We wouldn't be able to go five minutes without it, because apparently it's a completely genetic failing, the ability to just always say the wrong thing even if it's just a joke - or especially then? - or not somethin' you even thought about, you just say it and it's there and you're like well fuck now what and then you go to fix it but instead you say somethin' worse because, y'know, why the fuck not. And then you're starin' down a chain of failures you keep makin' bigger and bigger as you try to dig yourself out and you realize that every attempt to stop fuckin' it up is in fact another foot into your early grave, and also, Rose is raising her eyebrows at you from over one of her smutty gothic fiction novels and you can tell she's about to Comment, uppercase C and all, and you realize that you can in fact be even more fucked than you already were. You can be uppercase F Fucked.

[ i

yeah ]

[splinten]

[there's a pause]

So we're already in our bunk beds then.

[THIS IS WHAT HE EXPECTS TO HEAR LATE AT NIGHT AS DAVE MUMBLES HIMSELF TO SLEEP]

[parodeity]

I refuse to give you any more text posts if you don't reblog them.

[ that doesn't even make sense in context ]

You have to retweet or you don't get to follow me on social media?

[splinten]

I'm not building a tumblr app for you, Dave. I have morals.

[parodeity]

It wouldn't be the same, anyway. That kind of platform is only fun if there's a userbase to shit stir.

[ yeah dave was. basically an internet troll in his downtime, wasn't he. that was a thing he entirely found amusing. ]

What about twitter though that kinda was like how ebubbles worked except those were a sad commentary on isolation more than anythin' else but they could have been pretty rad if they weren't that. And also if the only potential userbase were an army of asshole troll ghosts.

[splinten]

Twitter will be taken into consideration.

[Sure it's a specific kind of Hell in its own way, but only a fool would send nasty tweets in this sphere they share with Hotaru. A fool Dirk would kill.]

[parodeity]

Would you really refuse to make tumblr, or is it like murdersharks?

[ out of mild curiosity. he actually doesn't feel like asking for either social media network he's talking about genuinely; it's just his usual brand of talking to talk. ]

It's funny, but I guess reprogramming dreamscapes kind of did prepare me for this shit after I got over the stupid manifesting certain things all the time thing here. I didn't realize that was trainin' rather than just wasting my time. We should make you try it.

[splinten]

You'd probably get tumblr out of me eventually.

[Like. He can't say no to dumb things for Dave, it's true.

That's a topic change. He tries to catch up with it, and. No.]

You've lost me.

[parodeity]

The ebubbles. [ that's. not an explanation. ] I reprogrammed the dreambubbles space to have these bubble-y things that regurgitated random lines from shit I'd said. It was both a time waster and an attempt to focus the dreamscape's view on my contributions to it so it didn't get any of the shit I super didn't want it to get. But also: time waster.

[ he frequently claims to dirk he's not smart enough to get stuff dirk does and that he has none of the depth dirk tries to give him, but also, he apparently did once spend a lot of time fucking up dreambubbles to build a weird art nouveau social media platform consisting only of himself and using memories and willpower and what have you for...

basically no purpose other than distraction and avoidance but. who the fuck spends their free time like that, dave. ]

If you practiced doing bullshit like that, dismissing splinters of yourself mentally when you're in that dreamscape zone might be easier. Part of masterin' Bro not showin' up again without my say-so was deliberately doing a bunch of other stupid shit to practice it, here, like it used to be there.

[splinten]

[How would Dirk have been able to work that out. Really, Dave.]

Okay. I'll make a go at it.

[He doesn't doubt Dave because he has no reason to. Dave is smart. Dave has more experience. Dave can be trusted to train him. Dave makes hilarious art nouveau social media platforms in deathbubbles.]

[parodeity]

Hashtags.

[ make a go that includes hashtags. that is...maybe? what he means? whatever the case there's the low-key delighted look he gets when contemplating complete nonsense. dirk maybe should not be taking any of this as anything useful. ]

[splinten]

I'd prefer to conjure up a different kind of platform. Maybe something in the vein of Wikipedia or a multi-media dissertation archive.

[Just. Storing all of his long dissertations in a dreamscape? Yes, why not.]

[parodeity]

[ okay the delighted look fades into manufactured disappointment. why does no one appreciate twitter with him. well, roxy might. ]

Please do not tell me Wikipedia is your favorite media platform. Oh jesus or Wikileaks, same vein here, bro.

[ NEITHER OF THOSE HAS HASHTAGS OR IS SOCIAL MEDIA REALLY? ]

[splinten]

Both media are inherently flawed at a base level in their decision to sacrifice an actually clearly defined methodological approach for unarticulated bias, masked by a pretension neutrality under the name of open-access. The disregard for the structures of power and domination behind their supposed absence of bias is signified even at the level of their names, in the combination of a misappropriated loan word, repeated to the point of loss of the original sense, with commonplace morphemes from the globally imperial language of the age.

[why did dave ask this?]

[parodeity]

Didn't answer my question, dude, what's your fave social media platform???

[ he flaps a hand at the explanation. ]

I know I know blah blah blah capitalism and power structures and domination and imperialism, but I mean all that shit aside.

[splinten]

That felt like a sufficient answer to the question to me. Capitalism didn't come up in that explanation.

[Why does Dirk find this amusing.]

[parodeity]

You could just say you don't wanna answer the question. Also, capitalism always comes into things with you eventually, I am pretty sure.

[splinten]

We could talk about how social media offers me no real attachment one way or another for lack of any society to communicate with, or we could argue about whether or not capitalism comes into all of my discussions.

It doesn't. I can give you a full discussion of irony without bringing capitalism in.

[parodeity]

You say that now but I do not believe you about it. Capitalism would come into it somewhere.

[ or dave would trickery it in but details ]

In the context of a world where there are people using social media with you, specifically, which would be your fave though? We only have some here but like you know enough about the others to gauge how we'd all act on 'em. Which one would you hypothetically like best? Jesus fuck it's hard to get a straight answer out of you for the 21st century equivalent of what's your favorite color. I am not askin' you that btw I feel like you would give me some long-ass answer about theory and shit that avoids ever givin' the obvious "orange".

[splinten]

That would depend on what you mean when you're asking what my favourite colour is.

[dave-tale no mercy run]

My preference would be for chat clients. It feels unlikely that I'd actually enjoy using most other forms of social media.

[parodeity]

List the possible meanings I could have for that exact question.

[ but moving on ]

I'm deciding twitter for you. [ THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS ] You'd enjoy that one if you remotely enjoy talkin' to me ever.

[splinten]

You could be asking me what colour I prefer for myself and objects I own. You could also be asking what colour makes me happiest to look at, or which colour I find most soothing. You could be asking what colour I'm predisposed to think positively of.

[stop him]

Okay, it's Twitter.

[parodeity]

Ok, do all of those in order.

[ no ]

You really would've liked it, I think. I liked to follow the shitpost twitters that were like - just absurd I guess? I think you would have liked those, too. Maybe?

[splinten]

Orange, pink-green-blue, see above plus red and purple, red.

The last one's recent. The started using red about six months before we met. It wasn't appreciated.

[#sentimentalloser]

Horse ebooks. [please stop him] I looked into birdsrightsactivist's archival stuff too. They were hilarious.

[parodeity]

That would be a good reason not to be happy about red being a thing that exists, yep. I remember his text was Rose's but my color.

[ also: ]

Never heard of either of those so I assume they started tweetin' after April 2009. As always, I feel my pop culture relevance sharply droppin' off. I gotta hit the archives.