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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

So, uh, which part. Did you not understand if you understood the clingy bullshit part?

[ circling back around. ]

[splinten]

[He'd been waiting for that loop.]

I understood that it was in some way clingy bullshit. What I don't think I fully grasped what was part of it was clingy, or exactly what the nature of the bullshit was.

[parodeity]

The worst ways? Or the weirdest ways. I would have liked to have been like...there.

[ illuminating ]

I'm not goin' to make this any clearer holy shit am I. Like - it's just one of those weird things? It isn't even a thing I mind? You've only said about - two, maybe three things that upset me and they weren't that.

[splinten]

[This isn't illuminating. Hold on. Let him work on this—no wait there's something that just set off every emergency services bell in his head.]

What did I say?

[HOW DID HE FUCK UP]

[parodeity]

Nothin'!

[ HE LITERALLY JUST SAID DIRK SAID SOMETHING, and yet. ]

But about the whole Avatar thing I just meant that I wish I'd like, been around when you decided you hated it and gotten to see that and hear what you thought and watch it with you. It was stupid?

[splinten]

[This does make sense and was the conclusion he was coming to.]

As idiotic as it may be, it isn't as if I've never felt similarly. What two-to-three things did I say that upset you?

[parodeity]

Nothing? I mean. An eye for an eye at worst. We're chill, Dirk, I didn't get, like, mad.

[ more importantly: ]

When have you felt similarly?

[splinten]

I'd still like to know.

[Errrr.]

It sounds stupid.

[Like everything they say doesn't sound stupid?]

[parodeity]

It wasn't fair.

[ also, while dirk is more interested in dave's thing dave is. more interested in dirk's thing lmao ]

Ok, but everythin' we ever say sounds stupid, so what is it? I gave you like five stormfronts where's mine in return?

[splinten]

Repeating the prior statement, I'd still like to know.

[Fair or not. As they go on this stupid line.]

Turntables.

[parodeity]

[ ok but consider dave just stares at dirk blankly. ]

What about turntables? I like them?

[splinten]

Right.

[This is why it's dumb. Goddammit.]

It... made me angry that he got to teach them to you. Instead of us learning them together. It felt unfair that he had that opportunity and never appreciated how lucky he was to get to have that kind of experience with you.

I did warn you of its stupidity.

[parodeity]

Oh.

[ well. uh. ]

If it helps it wasn't like teachin' by the kind of teachin' you do so much as like, doin' somethin' near me and expectin' me to catch on. But at least that wasn't, like, painful generally usually.

[ why the fuck would that help ]

[splinten]

[No, that doesn't help.]

The point is that I would have liked to have been there instead. The two of us dumb toddlers barely reaching the top of the turntables, spinnin' the vinyls without a clue what we were doing.

[parodeity]

I would've liked that too. But that's all it was. Realizin' that some things I just - already fullstop missed out on. Which is obvious? We're seventeen.

[ so. there was a lot to miss out on. duh. ]

I just didn't know how to word it.

[splinten]

You've managed to bring the idea across now, and I understand. We'll work on it.

[Also, Dirk is still standing in the metaphorical doorway since Dave... never gave him metaphorical permission to come in this is so stupid.]

How did I hurt you?

[parodeity]

I shouldn't have said that. Or I shouldn't have said it like that.

[ since it'd been a stupid aside and dirk hadn't meant anything but it and dave understood the whys. ]

It wasn't anything you did. Not really. It was just...conceptualizing a concept first, I guess? Call it lonely instead of upset.

[splinten]

Okay. Tell me about it.

[There's a pause and he just breaks.]

Also, is it cool if I sit down somewhere if we're going to spend some amount of further time together? If that's going to be a thing.

[let him out of this damn liminal space please.]

[parodeity]

Ummmm. [ a pause, but not because the answer is "no". ] I...yeah I don't have a couch. Are you cool with floor. Or like. Well, we set up the beds. I mostly have just been chillin' on the floor?

[splinten]

Floor or bed works.

[And then will he Find Out]

[parodeity]

[ dave literally just drops down and sits cross-legged where he is lmao sorry if you expected like pillows or blankets or whatever for this dirk???

actually no instead of crosslegged he's going to shift and just flop onto his back, arms crossed over his chest. ]

My floor is your floor, I guess literally at 5am but also like, right now.

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE MEEEEEEEEE

[splinten]

[Well that's stupid. Dirk considers this for a moment.

Then he lies down on the ground beside his brother, like a fucking idiot.]

Okay.

[So. Yeah.]

JOKE'S ON YOU SOMEONE ELSE LITERALLY SAID IT 2 SECONDS AGO IM ALREADY LAUGHING

[parodeity]

[ dave's quiet for a minute or two. when he speaks, he says this: ]

A month or two months or three months ago I would have told you when you pushed the issue that it upset me when you told me the Magister was lucky to have me, or when you told me that understanding me had never made you love me less.

IS THE JOKE REALLY ON ME THOUGH

[splinten]

[Oh.]

Sorry.

[They were moments he had wondered about, looking at Dave's reactions.]

Saying the right thing is still not a skill I've gained much competency in.

no im still laughing

[parodeity]

No, that's not what I meant. And they weren't the "wrong" thing, I just...couldn't take hearing them. But what I meant -

[ what he meant. what he meant by how he'd phrased it. ]

Even at the start of the month. I would have told you those were the things that upset me, and it would have been true, and you would have listened and that would have been that. You just did. You're not as slick as you think you are, bro.

[ dirk missed the sidestep, the subject shift, because sometimes the shift doesn't mean changing gears entirely but just giving just enough so he thinks he's got what he's asked for. ]

Because those would have been an acceptable loss, because they weren't the things that hurt most, but they were enough to get you not to ask more.