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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[windeity]

[A huff. Whatever. He probably thinks Roxy in this lifetime is hot too.] His dumbass shipping chart...[...] Wouldn't that have just been a threesome?

[parodeity]

[ at least dave doesn't really Care who john finds attractive at this point. ]

No, he wanted her in a different quadrant than we were doin'. Or, well, I think he actually wanted her in every quadrant but he was making do with the options available. Not that they were available, because I am not into scheduling my relationships with people to invite other people into the mix??? But anyway he didn't want me in any quadrant so definitely not a threesome. I think. I don't know, I was trying to get the conversation to stop being a thing for like, that entire debacle.

[windeity]

[Which is nice given he still accidentally flirts with Rose, but at least Dave is the only person he's remotely interested in dating. And yet. This conversation.]

Okay but then stuff changed because you guys dated for like five years or something so he apparently wanted you in some quadrant. [Which. Is also a little bit of a weird, sore spot and he's just annoyed about stupid things.]

[parodeity]

[ it's hard for dave to work up to legitimate jealousy when john goes home with him every night?? so. ]

In the timeline where we spent all our time with one another because Serket was always with Pyrope and Rose and Kan were still busy with one another and no one wanted to hang out with Makara? Yeah, things changed. You know that would have been different if you'd been in the vicinity at all, right?

[windeity]

Because of a timeline I caused. So like. [An exasperated sigh.] Never mind, this is so stupid to be upset about. Sorry.

[parodeity]

Hey, no. [ well. ] I mean, yes, maybe it's stupid to be upset that you maybe created a timeline where I dated a guy who really liked Dane Cook movies. But that was also a timeline where I was alive and not dead? So like. That was cool. And we were still best friends.

[ what the fuck is he trying to say. shit. ]

...Maybe it's stupid, but I guess I don't really think so? You can't really help what you're upset about.

[windeity]

Like of course you being alive was more important than anything. I wanted my best friends back but I started thinking about what I told Terezi and I started thinking about you and Karkat and the timeline and what happened and you and Jade and Karkat and my 19th birthday and...[A sigh.]

I think maybe I am upset that I am upset because it's stupid.

[parodeity]

You know I was basically upset about something really similar back when you moved in, right? I wasn't, like. Angry with you exactly or anything. But I was upset you weren't...you. Exactly.

[ when john didn't remember anything. ]

So I really, really can't call it stupid.

[windeity]

...good point. [He just kind of lays on top of him at this point.] I told Terezi not to date you or Karkat, but then you and Karkat started dating each other. And I think I am just kind of thinking about actions and consequences and how there's shit in my life here that I shouldn't have caused either.

But the thing is I am in love with you so maybe that is the only reason it's stupid.

[parodeity]

[ okay looks like dave is toppling onto his back fully now, cool, thanks john. he shifts so his arms secure john around the waist rather than looping around his neck, and tries to make room for john to settle more comfortably between his legs. ]

I love you too. [ easy enough. ] But what shouldn't you have caused here?

[windeity]

[He settles there but he doesn't reply immediately.]

...new subject for a little bit. [It's a lot to process for him.] ...what did you hear when we were out there?

[parodeity]

...Is "pass" an option?

[ probably not. john's marks look at least a little better so clearly this is maybe a thing they have to do. ]

[windeity]

[Just. A look. That basically says "absolutely not, you fucker."]

[parodeity]

I let Jade die. [ he picks the easiest thing to start with. ]

[windeity]

[His expression doesn't change. Well, no, okay, it does. He's not frustrated by the dodge anymore, but he's not upset by what Dave says either.]

Are you sure "let" is the right word?

[parodeity]

I sure as fuck didn't manage to save her? [ granted, he tried his hardest.

but his hardest has never been good enough. ]

[windeity]

You...were outnumbered. And you protected her anyway. There is a reason it was considered heroic.

[parodeity]

I guess I just feel. Felt? That if I'd held out longer, it would have been...not that.

[windeity]

You held out for longer than I think anyone could have ever expected. [He remembers watching the memory on that train a few months ago, and he thinks his point stands.] But...I understand. Trying and still not feeling like it was enough...right?

[parodeity]

It was Jade. Anything other than success wasn't enough, you know?

[windeity]

I know. I feel the same way about you and Rose. And Jade, of course. [All four of them were best friends. Failure was never an option but then it happened.] Do you...she wouldn't blame you for that, Dave.

[parodeity]

I blame me, I guess. I miss her. [ unrelated (maybe?) statements. ]

[windeity]

The her that was here or the her we remember? Or both, I guess.

[parodeity]

...Both. She was my best friend here. But I always think of the Jade Harley I remember first these days.

[windeity]

I think it's a little hard not to considering how much the four of us went through together back then. [...] If the mail ever starts working the way it is supposed to again, do you think we should send her a letter or something?