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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[windeity]

We're not done talking, so call this an intermission.

[parodeity]

I mean, the time that lapsed from when we moved in to when we made out...

[windeity]

Isn't that the benefit of living in our own place outside of the dorm? I happen to like making out with you.

[parodeity]

Not one of our originally planned ones, since the idea was floated before making out was a thing we did.

[windeity]

I think we can kind of bend the rules a little bit. [He leans forward to kiss him briefly.]

It's your turn to talk though.

[parodeity]

...how things ended with my brother here. [ how they didn't end but dirk just forgot them.

dave shrugs, uncomfortable. if there's anything he blames himself for...that's on the list. ]

[windeity]

...Dirk went off the app before I got here, didn't he? [He's still laying on his back but his arm is around Dave's waist to keep him steady.] Do you...I mean is it okay if I ask what exactly happened?

[parodeity]

We just - I wasn't really...okay. He got me to tell him things by - well, by doing dangerous shit but also by promising me he'd try to keep things locked down and it wasn't...fair. I'm not a fair person.

[windeity]

...like trying to cut off his head. [He vaguely remembers that, at least.] What about keeping things locked down wasn't fair?

[parodeity]

Not wanting him to tell people certain things just because there was a risk of triggering memories in those people? That wasn't fair.

[windeity]

So...kind of what we talked about when I first moved here. It started back then with Dirk. [Hm.] Would you change it if you could?

[parodeity]

I don't...know. It didn't really...I couldn't calm down back then. There was some shit that fucked me up a lot and I didn't ever get room to breathe.

[windeity]

Did you ask Dirk for a chance to breathe? [Given how their lives are, he can only guess, maybe, what those things might have been.]

[parodeity]

I didn't articulate it as...well as I did with you. [ wryly. HE THINKS HE ARTICULATED IT HORRIBLY WITH JOHN, so john can just...extrapolate ]

[windeity]

Right. So you just kind of just feel bad you didn't figure out how to explain it before it didn't matter anymore...? [He's working on understanding at least.]

[parodeity]

I...the thing is, we were really close. And when I started to change, I fell out of step with that. I forgot how to be me with him, or the me he needed me to be, and it was all just...too much. And it doesn't matter any more, but it always feels unresolved in the back of my head, and I still don't know what to do with him. He and Roxy still expect someone else entirely from me.

[windeity]

[He nods along.] Even without all of the other life stuff, don't you think things would have changed? Kind of like growing up. I think everyone expects some kind of change as we get older...or when big things happen, like college. When Dad left, I think Nanna wanted me to be someone else I couldn't be anymore. I started playing sports and dating Vic and it was something she didn't know how to really handle all the time.

But things got better. [...] Have things gotten better for you at all?

[parodeity]

You've still never played a sport for me. [ said like it's playing the piano... ]

Yes, John. Things have gotten better. I feel... [ he's so bad at feelings. ] Like my gravity isn't off-center so much.

[windeity]

First of all you'd be bored and second of all I cannot play just individual sports like that unless you want to come with me to a batting cage. [But his hand smooths over Dave's hair again.]

So...with that being said, do you think maybe there would ever be a way to talk to Dirk and Roxy about how things have changed without the Retrospec thing? That things happened but they're better now and you want to try again.

[parodeity]

...What's a batting cage.

[ let's. pause to discuss this after a fairly longish pause as dave tries to connect it to something. he forgot, again, which sports john did. ]

Is that a baseball thing? Like, the naughty sports boy will go in the cage and think about what he's done, and he will also put the lotion in the basket.

[windeity]

Oh my god, why. [Just. Why???] Yes, it's a baseball thing. It's where you go and you have a machine set up that shoots baseballs at you to practice your hitting.

[parodeity]

[ ................... ]

Okay, the idea about my siblings is like, really good. But now I'm just wondering if you're allowed to do that shirtless. I mean, obviously probably not.

[ stop dating dave, like, immediately. ]

[windeity]

[Just a sigh...] You just really like me with my shirt off, don't you? [He'll go back to the Dave and Strider-sibs thing in a second but now he's distracted.]

[parodeity]

I'd settle for a t-shirt with short sleeves? [ take him to the batting cages, john.

this is the worst detour in this conversation yet. ] Also like you actually mind.

[windeity]

So you're just in it for my arms. I see how it is. [He's laughing a little though.] I am pretty sure shirtless batting is illegal but a t-shirt is doable if you really want to come with me some weekend. It could be fun.

[Dave might be bored stiff but at least he can ogle his boyfriend for a little while and call it a day.]