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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[windeity]

Did you ask Dirk for a chance to breathe? [Given how their lives are, he can only guess, maybe, what those things might have been.]

[parodeity]

I didn't articulate it as...well as I did with you. [ wryly. HE THINKS HE ARTICULATED IT HORRIBLY WITH JOHN, so john can just...extrapolate ]

[windeity]

Right. So you just kind of just feel bad you didn't figure out how to explain it before it didn't matter anymore...? [He's working on understanding at least.]

[parodeity]

I...the thing is, we were really close. And when I started to change, I fell out of step with that. I forgot how to be me with him, or the me he needed me to be, and it was all just...too much. And it doesn't matter any more, but it always feels unresolved in the back of my head, and I still don't know what to do with him. He and Roxy still expect someone else entirely from me.

[windeity]

[He nods along.] Even without all of the other life stuff, don't you think things would have changed? Kind of like growing up. I think everyone expects some kind of change as we get older...or when big things happen, like college. When Dad left, I think Nanna wanted me to be someone else I couldn't be anymore. I started playing sports and dating Vic and it was something she didn't know how to really handle all the time.

But things got better. [...] Have things gotten better for you at all?

[parodeity]

You've still never played a sport for me. [ said like it's playing the piano... ]

Yes, John. Things have gotten better. I feel... [ he's so bad at feelings. ] Like my gravity isn't off-center so much.

[windeity]

First of all you'd be bored and second of all I cannot play just individual sports like that unless you want to come with me to a batting cage. [But his hand smooths over Dave's hair again.]

So...with that being said, do you think maybe there would ever be a way to talk to Dirk and Roxy about how things have changed without the Retrospec thing? That things happened but they're better now and you want to try again.

[parodeity]

...What's a batting cage.

[ let's. pause to discuss this after a fairly longish pause as dave tries to connect it to something. he forgot, again, which sports john did. ]

Is that a baseball thing? Like, the naughty sports boy will go in the cage and think about what he's done, and he will also put the lotion in the basket.

[windeity]

Oh my god, why. [Just. Why???] Yes, it's a baseball thing. It's where you go and you have a machine set up that shoots baseballs at you to practice your hitting.

[parodeity]

[ ................... ]

Okay, the idea about my siblings is like, really good. But now I'm just wondering if you're allowed to do that shirtless. I mean, obviously probably not.

[ stop dating dave, like, immediately. ]

[windeity]

[Just a sigh...] You just really like me with my shirt off, don't you? [He'll go back to the Dave and Strider-sibs thing in a second but now he's distracted.]

[parodeity]

I'd settle for a t-shirt with short sleeves? [ take him to the batting cages, john.

this is the worst detour in this conversation yet. ] Also like you actually mind.

[windeity]

So you're just in it for my arms. I see how it is. [He's laughing a little though.] I am pretty sure shirtless batting is illegal but a t-shirt is doable if you really want to come with me some weekend. It could be fun.

[Dave might be bored stiff but at least he can ogle his boyfriend for a little while and call it a day.]

[parodeity]

You already knew that was exactly how it is?? [ shut up john?? ] I want to go.

[ considering he usually expresses zero interest in sports (though he actually has mentioned wanting to see john play them a few times) this is clearly groundbreaking.

only not really considering he fully just admitted he's in it for john's arms.

but also kind of he wants to see what all john likes doing besides the hobbies they share. ]

I could take pictures and everything.

[ again, this just sounds like an ulterior motive ]

[windeity]

You could. [You know. Whatever makes Dave happy, he'll do it. Also he kind of misses it and it could be good for training with his hammer.

But speaking of his arms he's still kind of letting them cradle Dave to him and kind of squish him.]

...on the other hand there are no rules in the house that I have to wear a shirt. [...is he...bribing him? Potentially.]

[parodeity]

[ john what are you even bribing dave to do... ]

Are you tryin' to make me forget your turn??

[windeity]

No. [Yes.] But you're distracting me from what we were just talking about so go back on topic.

[If Dave keeps talking, John will take off his shirt, apparently.]

[parodeity]

I was not, you're totally trying to bribe me more than I'm trying to bribe you.

[ what if they lived a life free of bribery... ]

...I'll try. Talking to them. Do you...it's still okay. That I'm making you wait?

[windeity]

[Just an innocent smile. Yes, that is maybe what he's doing. On the other hand, he settles for another quick squeeze of his arms for a hug before he thinks over that question.]

Of course it's still okay. [He has a feeling there's more to this than "making you wait to touch me/take my shirt off/etc" but. It's the same answer regardless.] I told you a long time ago I wouldn't push you into shit you didn't feel ready for. That didn't change when we started dating.

[parodeity]

[ he's definitely not talking about that but instead talking about the stuff he just isn't telling john. the shirt thing is related anyway so. ]

I'm sorry for it anyway? [ quietly. he's said pretty much as much as he can on any of the topics (bro isn't there and maybe that's all dave needs to hear: it's still okay to not be okay) ]

[windeity]

[A small frown.]

Look at me for a sec. [He gestures for Dave to flip up his shades for a moment.]

[parodeity]

[ well. dave obligingly flips his shades up, after a moment's hesitation. ]

[windeity]

[It helps. He can at least see Dave which is kind of all he wanted to do and he keeps him held close nevertheless.]

Don't apologize for that. I don't know what kind of baggage you have and even if I never know and even if it keeps making things hard you're still my boyfriend but more importantly you are my best friend. I have my own shit, too, that I might be stuck with for the rest of my life and it's okay. I hope someday maybe you can tell me whatever is missing but even if you never do I love you the same way. It's okay if you decide in the end to keep it to yourself and it's okay if it's too hard to think about and if it still hurts you I'm not going to push. But don't apologize for it either. I just want to be here for whatever you want from me. I'm pretty much here to be your anything.

[parodeity]

[ ...dumb. dave just drops his head into the crook of john's neck, pressing in close for whatever comfort there is to take. ] That's such a dangerous offer.

[ but something inside him eases anyway. ]

[windeity]

Is it? [Dave hides in his neck and John shifts to hold tighter.] It's true. You are pretty stuck with me.