parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 2.0;

You don't get to claim that if you haven't figured it out by the time it's your turn. Also, you don't care that I'm an ass. [ dave says, uncertainly, because he isn't. sure that's true haha but ] You're an asshole, too.

[ dave is also being mature about this?

he makes the oranges bright blue. ]

To reiterate the dumb shit that's obvious that we were listin' originally because my shit wasn't obvious: [ he starts ticking them off on fingers. it's easier to say the ones he's said before so this isn't going to take too long. he thinks. but for the sake of actually trying he tries to be complete. ] don't attack me outside of strife sessions, don't attack me with puppets in strife sessions or out of 'em, no video tapin' without my permission especially for the purposes of weird porn, don't touch food that's mine after I have it unless I give it to you on purpose which ok look I know you don't do any of this but this was on the list before and it's still, um, relevant?

[ that's all old news stuff. he has to slow down to think about anything new. ]

I'd...appreciate it if we never have rooftop fights. I like that our rooftop interactions have only been arguments at worst if they were fights, not...you know. I don't want to work on that. I mean, I like havin' it be somethin' different. If that's okay. [ what the fuck else can set him off? there's probably going to be something he misses, so dave just. tries to think of what he wants that he can admit to. ] Don't...

[ he trails off. the new stuff is harder than the old stuff. ]

...Don't make decisions about changes to our relationship without at least tellin' me about them, even if they're not open for discussion. If that's...okay. That's not - an attack, I just - I want that on the list.

Unfortunately, yeah, I don't care. [Grumble grumble loves Dave it's terrible (no it isn't).

But okay. List. Dave makes a list. It's a good list. Dirk thinks he has messed up one or two of them, like he didn't record Dave for puppet porn but he's not always careful about his recording equipment. So he'll be careful about that. No rooftop fights are okay.

The next thing is harder, but Dirk understands it.]

Yeah, I... that's fair. I'll work on thinking things through better. And not just... thinking they'll be okay. Or hoping, would be more accurate. [He messed that up. He doesn't want to mess up like that again. Time to reassume a philosophy of worst case scenarios, frankly.]

I don't have any problems with all of that.

That's all I [ am willing to admit i ] want. [ there's no follow-up about telling or not telling people things, or any of the rest of it. if he at least knows about shit beforehand he can deal with it as it comes, or force adaption. ]

The work-on-shit column was, uh, flashsteppin'. Which we solved. [ ... ] And now it is here, again, in the list. But we're delayin' that until shit isn't jumpin' out at both of us. But this was me acknowledgin' that it exists still.

[ he doesn't like acknowledging it because he shouldn't have backslid. it sucks. he hates himself? but. ]

That was pretty much it. So, new stuff. The eatin' thing. I...would like to work on the non-attack puppet thing.

[ ...that seems like enough for now because adding anything else to that list of three items would be a monumental undertaking considering he just added puppets to the list. he really fucking hates puppets and that item will probably take longer than the food thing. ]

Uh. Thoughts?

[He knows that there are things not there. But Dave said time, chronological time, and maybe part of that time is letting Dave hold back. Unless that's the opposite of helpful? He should really call Rose in on this.]

I... Yeah. I am okay with us working from that list right now.

[Because he knows there is more, and surely Dave knows he knows. Surely, Dave knows he isn't just getting away with lying. But he is being given space? Not chased down into all of the spaces he has left.]

Are you sure about benign puppet adaptation? That one is honestly pretty big.

[Like they clearly have more important things to work on and Dirk would toss puppets out the window for being able to hold hands , but also: puppets are intense. He knows this now more than ever, and he's aware that was pretty tame.]

It was your apartment.

[ to clarify: ]

I...assumed when you were not doin' the puppet thing you were specifically not doin' it to the degree he did it. Out of, uh, a sense of respect for the whole I completely ranted to you about puppets and my dislike for them at our first meetin' thing?

[ also dave forgot to mention touching people as a work on thing. oops. he isn't even thinking about it. ]

Which was kinda an asshole move even though I didn't know for sure you were still w - still into them. [ "weirdly into them" is probably not useful at this juncture. ] The probability was high you were. But they're, like. A thing you enjoy. I'm not goin' to ever like them, but it would be easier all around if the sight of you with a puppet did not make me flinch or stop breathin', and you should, like. Be able to enjoy your hobbies without that bein' a concern? And apparently that does not mean, uh, Bro-level puppet idiocy.

[For a second Dirk thinks that's the answer to Dave's fun new 'What does Dirk get triggered by!' riddle, to which he wants to say, 'Well kinda, I did more or less say that but it isn't really a trigger and also a non-issue anyway' and then Dave explains and. Oh. Right? Right.]

Yeah, it... is probably not my place to judge a dude who likes puppets, but his thing for them was beyond fucked up.

[Organize your puppets and don't put that porn on the walls and LIKE BETTER PUPPETS THAN BILLY FROM SAW]

By gettin' used to puppets I am definitely never advocating leavin' naked sex puppets handcuffed around or leavin' marionettes in the shower or like, movin' them around on me or. Bro shit. So I meant more like. You havin' them and not hidin' them like I assume is the current thing? And...I don't know what you even do with puppets. Sew them??? Apparently make piles of them.

[ ?????????? ]

You, uh, clearly do not actually do anythin' he did with them so throw me a bone here.

A shower is a fucking stupid place to put a puppet. I only kept robots on the toilet because I'd work on them when I'm stuck on a shit.

[THAT.

WAS TOO MUCH INFORMATION.]

That was said ironically, and also I sanitized. [BELIEVE HIM AND FORGET WHAT HE JUST SAID OR HE WILL DIE.]

We could... work on puppets being okay. I like sitting in piles of them and sewing them, yeah. I've always enjoyed them as a specific kind of textile design challenge. [That's worse than working on robots while you're pooping.]

Ok the ironic excuse only works on things that are actually ironic. Also I don't want to sit in piles of puppets with you ever, but uh. I guess. On the work-on-it scale you can...sew puppets around me?

[ he has no idea where to start on this undertaking. dave spent so long around puppets they shouldn't set him on edge but they always did and he eventually copped to it and he's pretty sure just going back to Puppets Are Cool does not constitute working on it so he's picked the least threatening puppet option.

HE REALLY HATES PUPPETS... ]

That could be unsettling psychologically if you thought about it too much. [Like. The creating of puppets. Their innards and composition. Etc.]

What about starting with puppet designs. Like... just me sketching out puppet designs while you're in the same room.

Well it wouldn't have been if you hadn't mentioned it.

[ THANKS, DIRK. dave considers the new option. ]

Can they be not smuppets? Can we work on normal non pornographic puppets first.

I genuinely feel like maybe we should just take pornographic puppets totally off of the table, into a box, out of the room, and in the direction of the garbage incinerator. Wholesome non-porn puppets only.

[Dirk thinks the SBAHJ plushes are 'wholesome' though so there's some dubiousness here but let the boy try.]

I would be okay with that.

[ ok but sbahj plushes would probably be less distressing for dave than like

most other puppets honestly he hates puppets so much ]

Oh. I think we forgot "no tests" in the things I didn't want list. But. That still...exists. Which brings us to your turn? What do you want for nos.

I'm good with that staying a thing.

[Since generally Dirk is not testing Dave when Dave thinks he is? Dirk is now. Frowning though.]

Is the trigger something physical or was it supposed to be something more general?

['no tests' dave says, as dirk decides he is being tested by dave]

Dude, it's fine if you didn't figure it out. Puttin' that aside, is there anythin' you would have on your no list, currently? We can talk about the trigger thing in a sec. I was mostly just wondering how dumb we collectively are.

[ like. for science. ]

Good news! The results are in, and we're idiots.

Thanks, Professor Farnsworth.

[Dirk's sarcasm aside, he is thinking about this. He wants to be able to do this. He wants to set boundaries. But he still doesn't know what kind of boundaries to set.]

I don't know if it makes sense. Or is fair. It should maybe be on the list of things to work on, although now that I think about it it'd be a thing for you to work on so, yeah, it isn't fair.

[He knows he's going to be called a hypocrite but even so, he is sure of this.] It isn't fair.

You owe me one unfair confession.

[ by dave's internal calculation of such inane statistics. ]

[That is also unfair. What a jerk. Dirk's frowning and then he looks away and it's obviously. Not easy for him to ask for.]

I want to... not. With you responding to me as an enemy. Or attacker? With the negotiations and manoeuvrings and peace offerings. I want you to not act like I'm going to hurt you. [His eyes come back, and yeah, this is really getting to him, but it's because of how unfair it is, about how much he doesn't want it but how much it needs to be a thing.] Which is why it isn't a fair thing. I have hurt you and you have every right to try to protect yourself against me. It isn't cool to ask you to not protect yourself, and I wouldn't want you to not be protected.

[He just doesn't want the person Dave has to defend himself from to be Dirk. And that's Dirk's fault that it is.]

Edited 2017-01-08 06:30 (UTC)

[ that was. not where dave expected this unfair confession to go, and he freezes, trying to analyze if he's doing that right now. sort of? does the list thing count as all of those? he can try to act like he doesn't think dirk will hurt him, but does that fall under maneuvering if so? it's true he expects to get hurt. he usually does. he's waiting for the next time he needs something dirk can't give and he hopes next time he won't let on what happened, but does that fall under seeing dirk as an enemy as well? ]

Do you not wanna do the list thing?

[ his voice sounds stupid but dave honestly can't think of another question because he's not sure how to give dirk a reassurance he'll believe or how to ask about the topic at all. ]

Does this...count as me doing that.

No! No, this isn't that. This is working things out.

[Now he feels bad. Now he feels like he hurt Dave in a different way.]

This is why it isn't fair. It's when we were in the alien base and you started trying to set up the pieces so you could stop me from forcing you to let me move into the tower.

It isn't fair because that's on me. I can't ask you not to feel attacked by me when I'm the one who's making you feel attacked. Whether or not I mean to do it, it's a thing I need to work on for you, and not a thing you need to not do to me. So it's on my list for myself. I think I can do better at it now that I understand more about our situations.

I wasn't respondin' to you like the enemy, I was respondin' to me like the enemy. At that time.

[ IN...HIS OWN MIND...sure dave dirk completely would have seen it that way you do you ]

You weren't the enemy in that situation, I was the one tryin' to storm the goddamned castle gates. You were defending.

[ok now dirk has decided he IS the enemy?

this is stupid and they haven't even gotten to dirk's supposed trigger]

Oh my god. My wantin' to move in together at all was the enemy, Dirk, the rest of it was to stop you doin' somethin' stupid without thinkin' it through.

[ because doing the stupid thing dave wanted which wasn't fair automatically would be stupid? by dave's standards and he thinks most other people's. ]

You asked to move in like immediately. And I know your actual worth rather than what you value yourself at, so - obviously people would fuckin' miss you bein' around the base. Rose might find it reassurin', and you say Jake wouldn't care and I'll take you at your word there, but what about Mom? Or everyone else? I don't want you to do somethin' that's goin' to hurt a bunch of other people because that would hurt you so in this situation I was the enemy for bringin' it up when I knew you'd agree to come with. Or I thought I did. It's why I never asked.

Edited 2017-01-08 06:51 (UTC)

[Some things make sense now, and he has a lot of problems with it, but also]

We did not need me not figuring out the trigger you claim I have to confirm that we're idiots. The data abounds beyond scientific belief.

Dude, you definitely have a fuckin' trigger. Was that it on your no list?

[ also, said without any particular ire: ]

And fuck you, you're the bigger idiot in this particular situation. I'm, like, the lesser idiot who dresses nicer.

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