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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[windeity]

Okay but like. What is more, Dave? I don't understand what that means. I can't say yes or no if I don't--are you talking like marriage or what?

[parodeity]

[ a very strangled noise as he drops his hold on john? ] No! I mean, yes, but also no! I mean.

[ jesus fuck what if he just kisses john to avoid whatever he is trying to explain. ]

[windeity]

[That works for like ten seconds because he likes kissing but he also reaches up with his free hand to push on Dave' s shoulder to get him to back up a bit.]

Dude, stop. What are you talking about?

[parodeity]

[ this is entirely unfair but his shoulders slump and dave caves. ] I want you to - I don't even know, this is just. I want to carve stupid pumpkins when they're in season and put them on the front porch and I want you to try to host Thanksgiving or something and I want to attempt to help you in the kitchen and I want you to make out with me in the closet at work because you didn't back then and I want to plant tulips and sunflowers in the yard and I want to drag you up here to dance sometimes for no reason and I want to bring you flowers from work and I want you to sing me stupid songs and I - I want you to touch me, okay, and I want to touch you and it sucks because for so long I didn't even consider it and I don't know how to go back on that. And it's stupid and I shouldn't have brought it up.

[windeity]

[Oh. Okay.]

...first of all, like 90% of that is stuff that I am pretty sure we would be doing even if we were not dating just because that's how our friendship works. But secondly, how is any of that stupid?

[parodeity]

I just feel - bad. [ like he's doing the boyfriend thing wrong and isn't good enough for john and john deserves better. dave's hands twist together. ] So, I'm sorry.

[windeity]

I think I'm just not sure why you feel bad. And if it's something I'm doing, I want to fix that.

[parodeity]

No no no, it's somethin' I'm doing. It's cool. I can fix it. [ he stops fiddling with his hands, holding them up like he's placating john. ] I can be better.

[windeity]

Babe. [It's steady and firm even when he takes Dave's hands anyway.] That's not what I'm asking from you. I don't care about you being better, I care about you actually talking to me. That's it. You're doing just fine.

[parodeity]

Can we just...go back to forgetting about it? [ maybe they shouldn't but he feels awkward and stupid and lost. ] About that topic. Never happened, never gonna happen, just one of those things we can maybe think about never?

[windeity]

Absolutely not. I know that's what you want but that is not happening. I'm sorry.

[parodeity]

[ he forgets for a stupid second that his shades are up in his hair and shuts his eyes, breathing through the moment for a second in that calm way he has when he's forcing himself not to panic. ] Yeah, okay. So what now?

[windeity]

Now we talk about it. [He's not sure what's happening and he's a little alarmed by the change in breathing, but he doesn't call him on it.]

I want those things, dude. I have wanted those for a long time.

[parodeity]

[ what if. he just stares blankly in confusion for a second, after he opens his eyes. ]

[windeity]

[He lifts an eyebrow almost playfully.]

...what makes you think I didn't want them, too?

[parodeity]

More immediately you just said you didn't want to until other stuff happened. [ or that's what he thought john said, maybe he misunderstood. ] Less immediately, I assumed me bein' a guy was a roadblock.

[windeity]

...I'm confused. Like. I will absolutely admit that, I am confused and think maybe we aren't talking about the same thing and that is on me.

[parodeity]

Can we start with what you're talking about.

[windeity]

Okay. I like flowers. [Helpful.] Literally everything you listed is, like, normal relationship stuff to me.

[parodeity]

Just. Go through the entire list so I'm clear.

[windeity]

Okay.

I love Octobers now because they remind me of you and us and I want to carve shitty SBaHJ pumpkins to shove on the porch and confuse our neighbors. I have a lot of recipes bookmarked on my laptop and we have a house now, I want to host for our friends because it makes sense and it's what you do and it feels much more like being an adult than anything else. We have a kitchen and I want late nights where I'm doing whatever and you're helping me and we end up with six kinds of pies because that's definitely what we need in the house.

I keep thinking of how to rig our shifts so you and I are working alone together and I want to do dumb teenage things like make out in breakrooms and hold hands and run through sprinklers and whatever. I love flowers even if some of them make me sneeze but I think it's flattering that you remember my favorite flowers when I told you almost a year ago.

I'm a better dancer now and you're still the only person I'll sing for at the drop of a hat and I like sharing a bed with you and it's weird when I don't and I have given a lot of thought to our relationship and what I want and I want to do things with you because you'll make it okay no matter how weird I may or may not feel about it. I don't feel weird anymore. I feel weird about other things, but not about you and me.

So. I am not sure what part is stupid and what I said but I'm sorry for whatever spawned literally all of this.

[parodeity]

I'm not running through sprinklers with you in fall or winter.

[






is that it ]

[windeity]

....okay? [An awkward laugh. Yeah, Dave, is that it?] That is doable.

[parodeity]

[ it's not it. he's just kind of floored and just...give him a second here. dave takes a step forward sort of hesitant and his left hand goes fairly slow to john's cheek and he's easy to dodge when he moves slow. but yeah. dave leans in to kiss his boyfriend so give him a second it's not a distraction this time.

he pulls back after a few seconds. ]

I kind of want to spend the rest of my life with you.

[ he figures maybe that sums up, but it's dave, so of course he keeps talking. ]

Only it's not kind of, and I always did, I just didn't always want - this. I wanted you to be my best friend and you knew that and I just wanted you to never leave in like. The little kid way where you see someone on the playground and you just know that's who you want to spend every recess with beacuse they're the most fun and I don't know where this analogy is going, okay, fuck. The point is I fell in love with you, or noticed I was, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, and I just. Want to spend the rest of my life with you. Regardless of whatever the fuck is goin' on in this goddamn city I just...want to spend it with you. And like, if the world is ending, that's fine, as long as you're with me.

[ his left hand didn't leave the side of john's face and his thumb sort of traces over a cheek and just. that's stupid. ]

And it's terrifying because that's the one thing I care about and I don't know what the fuck I'd do if I lost you. So sometimes I worry about - losing you, or you not wanting to stay or you wanting something else or -

[ it's stupid. he knows it's stupid. ]

Hey. I need to tell you something. Can we like - [ dave gestures down at the back yard, goes to the railing and just hops over the edge. he doesn't want to be on the balcony for some reason, though he snags his phone as he goes, slowing his fall only when he's almost at the ground. ]

[windeity]

[Luckily whenever Dave gets in one of these moods he doesn't have to say much. He easily meets him for that kiss but he also leans into Dave's hand, staring at him even as Dave continues to talk. His gaze is soft and quiet and he's not at all surprised to hear most of this. It's a sentiment he returns even if it's not as intently (in only that nobody can be as intense as Dave Strider with these kind of things) but it's hard not to immediately say "me too" and not mean it.

In the end, he doesn't have to say anything and he nods when Dave asks him to move.

Sometimes he remembers that his beautiful boyfriend is also a very confusing creature. As it is, Dave pulls back and he doesn't hesitate to follow him, not afraid of the heights and jumping down to float to the ground.]

...inside? Or stay out here? [There's a pause.] I will address everything you just said, I promise, but if there is something else I want to hear it.