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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[parodeity]

You know I want to ask what you want to do. [ there's a snort of laughter, though. ] But I know the rules.

[ hot potato questions: try not to. he manages to actually keep his eyes on john's although dave does not manage to not flush a little bit. but whatever. it's embarrassing and he isn't the derse kid who actually had some sort of porn collection.

that was like every other sibling, more or less???

but if he can't fucking say what he wants, he shouldn't be doing it. so. ]

This conversation's all over the place, but what's fucking new? I'd like to, like, christ. I liked what we were doing, when I stopped you. So. That. Only not...stopping? But going to the point where if nothin' else like.

[ he's only getting more red. this is stupid. john has SEEN sbahj, why is it easier to be crude about bullshit in comics and not in real life when he's nervous about managing to say something his boyfriend isn't okay with?

besides that part. about. that exactly. ]

Goddamnit. Okay. Like, things I'm chill with that we don't actually have to do until you are, too, if ever: like, frottage is what I was sort of tryin' to get across, or lemme give you a handjob.

[ also, murder him. dave actually managed the entire thing not flinching or looking away. he just got flushed and muttery and texan. ]

...You know, like. Whenever. If you want someday. Is what I wanted to throw on the table. Also on a weird note I kinda wanna trace that with my tongue but I figure you'll just laugh at that one and let me anyway if I ever wanted. [ vague gesture to john's right wrist. ] So yeah that's my bullshit.

[ the vague gesture ends with his hand at the back of his neck, making him look awkward and nineteen. which. he is? ]

[windeity]

[He's steadily raising his eyebrows as Dave continues to babble because for a moment he has legitimately no idea what the fuck he's asking for. As he continues though he's starting to figure it out and he just...tries not to chuckle because it's endearing and also he's a little nervous.]

...I cannot believe you just used the word frottage. [It's fine, he's a little flustered too even though he has absolutely no reason to given he's the one who's not a virgin here.] Like...yeah, that would be a thing I am okay with someday. Like a soonish someday, since we should probably start from the bottom and work our way up?

...why do you want to lick my tattoo though? [He'll go over his shit in a bit.]

[parodeity]

Oh my god shut up. [ he shoves at john's face with his hand. ] And just because? I don't know, it occurred to me one day and I was like "oh, yeah, I want to do that". And I used the word because I am trying to be the adult here. I'm older than you.

[ dave makes a face, though. ]

Next time I have to say shit about this I'm just going to use extended metaphors and say fuck you, though.

[windeity]

[He starts laughing behind Dave's hand.]

Yeah, sure. You are older than me but I can handle other words besides frottage. [He looks amused nevertheless.] ...you can lick me all you want, I don't care.

[WORDING, MAYBE.] Babe. I'm teasing but I am glad you're at least talking to me instead of me going at this blind. I love you but I'm also not going to be an asshole that tries to do things either of us aren't ready for. Okay?

[parodeity]

[ an annoyed noise and he leans in to lick up john's neck instead. then he just drapes and hides there. ] I know you're not. It's why I always stopped you. I just don't know where you're at now.

[windeity]

[A light shiver, but he's letting Dave settle immediately.] You could ask. I know, what a wild concept.

[parodeity]

Goddamnit, Egbert, just tell me before I strangle you or somethin'. [ romantic. it's softened when he just places a too gentle kiss to john's neck as an apology for nerves. ]

[windeity]

...for a while, yeah, I was a little weirded out about actually going far enough that you were getting anywhere near my dick. [May as well be honest? The kissing helps to be fair.] And then I started thinking about it and it's just you. I would rather it be you than literally anyone else because that is what it means to be in a commitment with someone. Scary shit that you work through together.

So like. I'm not scared of you doing it. I'm scared of somehow fucking it up because dude, sex is awkward. Like. Always. The first time you fool around with anyone it is extremely awkward.

[parodeity]

When aren't we completely awkward? [ there's wry amusement and resignation. ] I know? I don't expect you to be suave or whatever and I really don't expect me to be. I just want to know what you want. Keep talking, I paid my dues and it's your turn.

[ ... ]

The weirded out thing kinda hurts but I knew that already. [ may as well be honest. he didn't tense up or anything. ]

[windeity]

It wasn't you personally, I promise. It would have been like that with any guy, mostly because I am pretty sure hooking up with a guy is way different than hooking up with a girl. So. Maybe weirded out isn't the right word. Psyching myself out? Maybe that's better.

...I just want to try these things with you and for us to be okay with however badly it goes. And not get turned off from doing it again after that.

[parodeity]

I like psyching yourself out better, it sounds less about me havin' a dick and more about you havin' an incurable case of the Egberts. [ he pulls away again. ] I've definitely dumped you on the floor before while making out and you didn't stop trying to kiss me after that.

[windeity]

I happen to like kissing you, so fuck off. [A lopsided smile.] An incurable case of Egberts is probably accurate. I always psyche myself out about important stuff.

[parodeity]

I can't kiss you and fuck off at the same time, pick one. [ a pause. ] Wanna go back inside?

[windeity]

[He opens his mouth to answer, but then Dave asks a question.]

...inside sounds good.

[parodeity]

I'll let you take off my shirt if you promise to be a space heater. [ the only fair trade. ]

[windeity]

How can you possibly be cold? It's August. [That's not a no though.]

[parodeity]

[ dave rolls his eyes and gets to his feet, reaching a hand down to john. ] If you want me to keep my shirt on...

[windeity]

[He takes the hand and hauls himself up, stopping just a hair away before pressing a kiss to Dave's face.] Absolutely not.

[parodeity]

[ there's a grin and dave leans in to actually kiss john on the mouth for a second before dragging him back, managing to walk backwards without tripping fairly easily. ] You don't get to keep yours either, then.

[windeity]

I mean I wasn't planning on it. [He lets Dave lead them while walking backwards.] That is part of the exchange rate in the house.

[parodeity]

What other kind of exchange rates do we have here? [ there's more than a little amusement because what the hell. dave has to stop walking backwards to get the door, and then they're inside and he pauses to close it and eye john. ] Are shoes an eye for an eye? I don't remember signing this contract?

[windeity]

Uh. Kisses for kisses? Obviously? Keep up with the program, Dave, you signed this contract when we started dating.

[parodeity]

I don't remember signing it, but I guess those are acceptable terms. [ and also it's a reason to drop john's hand and grab his shirt instead to pull him over for a kiss. this time it's a little less short and chaste. ]

[windeity]

[He grins and immediately meets him for the kiss, arms looping over Dave's shoulders to pull him as close as possible. Maybe it was a cheap ploy to get a kiss, but he's okay with that.

It's not desperate but it's firm and certain enough.]

[parodeity]

[ cheap ploys have a certain charm. dave presses closer for a minute but then pulls back again. ] Do you wanna stay down here and watch a movie or go upstairs? [ at least he seems to have forgotten threatening to stay awake all night. ]