Please please please. [ he's muttering even as one of his hands leaves john's waist to tangle in john's hair instead. dave shifts his legs further apart to give john room to settle more between them. ] I don't want to come yet, fuck that.
Shh...[Quiet and placating but he's still moving with purpose. His hips roll down again before he shifts to give his hand room, fingers sprawling over sharp bones prominent through pale skin before securely wrapping around the base of Dave's dick and pumping once or twice to see how he responds.] Relax. Focus on me, okay?
[ sharp breath in. dave yanks john's hair harder than he means to, then drags him down for a brief kiss to apologize. and also just to kiss john. he's so pale but there's color to his skin now as a flush starts to work it's way into his cheeks. ] Want me to...? [ his left hand trails from john's waist to his waistband. ] And if you think I have any room in my head for anything but you you're crazy.
[He meets him for the kiss, not at all worried about his hair as he continues moving his hand at a slow and steady pace.]
Not yet. Just relax for right now, okay? I want this to be a good thing. [Boundaries are still a thing and he's respectful of them even as his fist tightens and glides over the length of the shaft. ] Besides, I like seeing you like this.
Not sure how it could be a bad thing. [ he asked for this. or specifically dave had asked touch john without really talking about john touching him until john asked. dave lets his left hand slide back up john's side, though. ] ...a bit tighter?
[There's a curious pause before he tightens his grip in return. It's easy to move his hand, not quite moving at a fast and frantic pace but a little more confident now. There's another pause in his speech before he kisses the corner of Dave's mouth.]
I am pretty sure I will not be able to multitask if you touch me at the same time. [Murmured and sheepish all at once.] So just let me take care of you first, okay?
S'long as I get to touch you. [ dave squirms a little, his breathing quiet but uneven. ] Um. [ he'd turned into the kiss a little, and his left hand slides down to john's neck, thumb rubbing a random line under his jaw. ] I know you have to have somethin' for when you do this. [ he means lotion or lube or whatever and it's awkwardly said even as he rocks up. ] When do you do this?
[He leans into Dave's hand, still pecking his lips against any part of his skin he can reach while his hand slows just a bit.]
...there's lube in my 'dex, yes. [It's weirdly matter of fact for someone who previously wasn't even sure about this, but here we are. He gives Dave a questioning look though because yeah, why are you asking Dave???
The lube drops onto the mattress not long after though.] I do not really have a schedule for that? [He's laughing under his breath, but he's not weirded out or anything.] Sometimes in the morning while I'm showering? Sometimes after you fall asleep and after we've been fooling around a little? Whenever.
What. Like, while I'm in the bed still?? [ it's true john can move around a little more than he used to be able to without waking dave as he's acclimated to john's noises, but the idea is.
hot? attractive. confusing. something. he gets distracted from asking john to use the damn lube by this detour of conversation, which at least keeps him from focusing on john's hand that much.
Usually I sneak out of the bed but...I guess sometimes, yes. Just not often. [Leave him alone!! But he's flicking open the top of the lube with his free hand anyway.] I kind of figured it was not that important to mention.
...I wish I had known that sooner. But I will keep that in mind. [The lube's open and he lets go of Dave's dick to lather his hand up.] Think it'll be the same going forward?
I want this. [ letting go lets him focus more on what he's saying anyway, fingers playing out a beat from one of john's works-in-progress heard from the music room at the back of john's neck. ] I want you, like this. I...really don't think we rushed it. I didn't rush deciding I wanted this, you. I dumped you out of my lap in February for - I wasn't ready then and I would have shoved you out of bed if you'd tried shit back then.
[ so. ]
But we've been dating almost eight months. And I've known you for months, years, longer than that. And I trust you, and I want this. So. My mind isn't gonna change even if we manage to make this the most awkward experience ever. We'll just, like, have to practice or something if we suck at it.
[He stays close so Dave can play notes along his skin and he turns his head just enough to kiss his face again even as Dave talks. Eight months isn't anything to sneeze at, and Dave has a point. When you put it with how long they've known each other in this life and how long they've known each other in the past life it's years and years of waiting coming into fruition.]
Time and timing are two very different things, but I think we have made the best of both of them. [His hand doesn't immediately go back between Dave's legs yet because this is important.] I already told you that you were probably right that I wasn't mentally ready for any of this stuff but now I am and that is all that counts to me. I'm ready to actually move forward and in a way maybe it shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is because it's important and you're important. So yeah, I am kind of just babbling a little but thank you for trusting me and stuff. I'll do my best not to make this awkward.
Yeah. [ he wasn't always the best at believing it but - ] Yeah, I do. [ but this time it's quietly sincere. ] And I love you. You know that, right?
[ dave pulls john down for a kiss by yanking on his hair a little, not really caring it's sort of stalling them from continuing because mostly he wants to kiss john and he thinks maybe they both need a moment. when he pulls back, his teeth scrape john's lip and dave smiles, eyes half lidded and warm. ]
...and I know you want me, which I wasn't for sure about. Pretty sure the reverse is also super obvious. So. I just want to be close to you in a new way too I guess? [ he's not into the idea of sex without feelings, apparently. ]
[He still doesn't care about hair-pulling and he's apparently into that, given there's a curious little noise before he dips his head down to allow such a thing. He kisses him and holds onto that for a bit before Dave pulls back and uses his teeth. John's eyes are bright, pupils wide and mouth curved up into a smile that pretty much says he's having a hard time believing he's this lucky but here we are.]
Yeah. To, like, all of that. I know you love me, I definitely want you, and I am very into being close in a new way. With only you. Not that I thought there would be anyone else involved but you know what I mean. You're the only one who should know what this is like with me.
You mean this ain't an open relationship? Damn. [ he's teasing, obviously, lips curving upwards despite himself. ] You're the only person I want to do this with. You're gonna be the only person who knows what a few things are like? Firsts and lasts.
I don't regret that. [He leans forward to kiss him again.] Likewise, obviously. It's...maybe other people would not make this into such a big deal, but I kind of think it is.
[ kissing is always good and acceptable and dave lets himself get lost in it for a second. ] It is. I mean, to me. I want to have sex with you, that's not, I dunno, a whim. So.
[He's fine with that, too. He doesn't think it's worth mentioning that it's just a handjob since it's still important to both of them for different reasons, especially with what he knows about Dave at this point. Instead, he nods along.]
If it was a whim we probably would have done this a while ago. So I think this was better. [He goes quiet for a beat.] ...ready?
I know. That is the main reason I would stress. [But he takes a breath and he grins at him, shifting a little closer. His hand moves again now that it's sufficiently slicked up and it dips into Dave's boxers again, wasting little time to seek him out and wrap his fingers around his dick again. At least his hand's sliding better? So thanks, Dave.] Better?
Messier. [ but he laughs, which maybe isn't what he should be doing but it's that quiet affectionate sound that happens sometimes when he's genuinely relaxed around john. so at least dave isn't stressing at the moment. he tries not to shift upwards again, because john promised to make it last and he's not stressed out but dave's focusing on a bunch of sensations all at once. john's voice, his hand, his weight. there's a lot.
there's a quiet hum as he kisses john's jaw again. ] It's the main reason you shouldn't stress.
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Not yet. Just relax for right now, okay? I want this to be a good thing. [Boundaries are still a thing and he's respectful of them even as his fist tightens and glides over the length of the shaft. ] Besides, I like seeing you like this.
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[ quiet and a little embarrassed. ]
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I am pretty sure I will not be able to multitask if you touch me at the same time. [Murmured and sheepish all at once.] So just let me take care of you first, okay?
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[ why are we asking this dave ]
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...there's lube in my 'dex, yes. [It's weirdly matter of fact for someone who previously wasn't even sure about this, but here we are. He gives Dave a questioning look though because yeah, why are you asking Dave???
The lube drops onto the mattress not long after though.] I do not really have a schedule for that? [He's laughing under his breath, but he's not weirded out or anything.] Sometimes in the morning while I'm showering? Sometimes after you fall asleep and after we've been fooling around a little? Whenever.
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hot? attractive. confusing. something. he gets distracted from asking john to use the damn lube by this detour of conversation, which at least keeps him from focusing on john's hand that much.
which is maybe bad. but look. ]
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[ so. ]
But we've been dating almost eight months. And I've known you for months, years, longer than that. And I trust you, and I want this. So. My mind isn't gonna change even if we manage to make this the most awkward experience ever. We'll just, like, have to practice or something if we suck at it.
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Time and timing are two very different things, but I think we have made the best of both of them. [His hand doesn't immediately go back between Dave's legs yet because this is important.] I already told you that you were probably right that I wasn't mentally ready for any of this stuff but now I am and that is all that counts to me. I'm ready to actually move forward and in a way maybe it shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is because it's important and you're important. So yeah, I am kind of just babbling a little but thank you for trusting me and stuff. I'll do my best not to make this awkward.
[A pause.] You know I love you, don't you?
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[ dave pulls john down for a kiss by yanking on his hair a little, not really caring it's sort of stalling them from continuing because mostly he wants to kiss john and he thinks maybe they both need a moment. when he pulls back, his teeth scrape john's lip and dave smiles, eyes half lidded and warm. ]
...and I know you want me, which I wasn't for sure about. Pretty sure the reverse is also super obvious. So. I just want to be close to you in a new way too I guess? [ he's not into the idea of sex without feelings, apparently. ]
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Yeah. To, like, all of that. I know you love me, I definitely want you, and I am very into being close in a new way. With only you. Not that I thought there would be anyone else involved but you know what I mean. You're the only one who should know what this is like with me.
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If it was a whim we probably would have done this a while ago. So I think this was better. [He goes quiet for a beat.] ...ready?
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there's a quiet hum as he kisses john's jaw again. ] It's the main reason you shouldn't stress.
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