[He stays close so Dave can play notes along his skin and he turns his head just enough to kiss his face again even as Dave talks. Eight months isn't anything to sneeze at, and Dave has a point. When you put it with how long they've known each other in this life and how long they've known each other in the past life it's years and years of waiting coming into fruition.]
Time and timing are two very different things, but I think we have made the best of both of them. [His hand doesn't immediately go back between Dave's legs yet because this is important.] I already told you that you were probably right that I wasn't mentally ready for any of this stuff but now I am and that is all that counts to me. I'm ready to actually move forward and in a way maybe it shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is because it's important and you're important. So yeah, I am kind of just babbling a little but thank you for trusting me and stuff. I'll do my best not to make this awkward.
Yeah. [ he wasn't always the best at believing it but - ] Yeah, I do. [ but this time it's quietly sincere. ] And I love you. You know that, right?
[ dave pulls john down for a kiss by yanking on his hair a little, not really caring it's sort of stalling them from continuing because mostly he wants to kiss john and he thinks maybe they both need a moment. when he pulls back, his teeth scrape john's lip and dave smiles, eyes half lidded and warm. ]
...and I know you want me, which I wasn't for sure about. Pretty sure the reverse is also super obvious. So. I just want to be close to you in a new way too I guess? [ he's not into the idea of sex without feelings, apparently. ]
[He still doesn't care about hair-pulling and he's apparently into that, given there's a curious little noise before he dips his head down to allow such a thing. He kisses him and holds onto that for a bit before Dave pulls back and uses his teeth. John's eyes are bright, pupils wide and mouth curved up into a smile that pretty much says he's having a hard time believing he's this lucky but here we are.]
Yeah. To, like, all of that. I know you love me, I definitely want you, and I am very into being close in a new way. With only you. Not that I thought there would be anyone else involved but you know what I mean. You're the only one who should know what this is like with me.
You mean this ain't an open relationship? Damn. [ he's teasing, obviously, lips curving upwards despite himself. ] You're the only person I want to do this with. You're gonna be the only person who knows what a few things are like? Firsts and lasts.
I don't regret that. [He leans forward to kiss him again.] Likewise, obviously. It's...maybe other people would not make this into such a big deal, but I kind of think it is.
[ kissing is always good and acceptable and dave lets himself get lost in it for a second. ] It is. I mean, to me. I want to have sex with you, that's not, I dunno, a whim. So.
[He's fine with that, too. He doesn't think it's worth mentioning that it's just a handjob since it's still important to both of them for different reasons, especially with what he knows about Dave at this point. Instead, he nods along.]
If it was a whim we probably would have done this a while ago. So I think this was better. [He goes quiet for a beat.] ...ready?
I know. That is the main reason I would stress. [But he takes a breath and he grins at him, shifting a little closer. His hand moves again now that it's sufficiently slicked up and it dips into Dave's boxers again, wasting little time to seek him out and wrap his fingers around his dick again. At least his hand's sliding better? So thanks, Dave.] Better?
Messier. [ but he laughs, which maybe isn't what he should be doing but it's that quiet affectionate sound that happens sometimes when he's genuinely relaxed around john. so at least dave isn't stressing at the moment. he tries not to shift upwards again, because john promised to make it last and he's not stressed out but dave's focusing on a bunch of sensations all at once. john's voice, his hand, his weight. there's a lot.
there's a quiet hum as he kisses john's jaw again. ] It's the main reason you shouldn't stress.
[He's careful and handling him the kind of way you'd handle something important and sacred even if it's not something fragile. His free hand smooths some of Dave's hair back even while he works on building a steady rhythm. It's not that different from getting himself off, keeping his fist snug and more focused on other things he knows Dave likes.
You know, like the sound of his voice.]
The thing is, like, you are always going to make me a little nervous. In the good way. Because I love you and I want to make sure everything that happens between you and me is the best it can possibly be.
[ glad john remembers the vocal thing because that has never stopped being a thing. it's maybe unfair john already knows a few surefire ways to get dave going when this is the first time that there's ever been dick touching in their relationship. dave's eyes are fluttering shut a little but he's looking at john still when he remembers because he likes looking at john. it makes his eyes happy.
that's a stupid thought and he's glad he didn't -
yeah nah he totally just said it aloud, didn't he. "you make my eyes happy".
dave groans and it's half at himself because WHY and half at what's happening. ]
[On the other hand, this isn't too out of the ordinary for Dave so he says something like that and John takes it in stride, a pleased sort of inhale in response. He's not even being touched right now and watching Dave under him is getting to him.]
Yes, well, why do you think I go crazy when I get to look at yours? Just a thought. [His thumb slowly rubs over the head of Dave's dick while he seemingly contemplates. It never stops moving though even when his hand begins stroking him again.] You are a beautiful thing to look at.
[ there's a sharp inhalation but it's impossible to tell if it's because of john's hand or because john just called him beautiful. dave draws him down for a kiss, short and sweet because he likes john's voice, but it's a little hard to think in a straight line just now.
not like he's usually that great at it. ]
You're gorgeous. Fuck, John...your eyes are my favorite color, I think. [ helpful. he cants his hips up a little, whining through his teeth. ] I love you. [ he likes those words on his tongue so: ] Love you. Love you. [ it's mumbled like he gets sometimes, low and quiet but peppered with kisses to john's lips and cheeks and wherever he can reach. ] Don't even think "oh fuck" when I look at you and feel it hit me in the gut anymore. Still hits me in the gut, though. Like wham whenever I look over at you and you're just - jesus there, do that again.
[ probably john doesn't need dave to continue rhapsodizing about his feelings anyway so the self-interruption is maybe okay. ]
[No he likes it?? But also he likes watching Dave kind of babble and enjoy what he's doing so maybe there's a correlation there. As it is, he keeps himself bent down enough that Dave can reach his face and kiss him as much as he wants to, idly swiping over the head again and smearing precum for a little extra lubrication near the tip. It's fine, this is fine. Reverse-engineering seems to work for him and there's a low, breathy kind of laugh anyway.]
And you used to wonder why I am in love with you. Where do you get off saying such nice things? [He squeezes his hand a little, gaze sharp and a crooked almost-smirk on his lips.] And people say flattery gets you nowhere. C'mere. [He's strong enough to hold himself up while perched on his knees, other hand moving to cradle the back of Dave's head and pull him forward to actually kiss him. There's barely a pause as he works his hand and also settles for frenching his boyfriend to shut him up for a few seconds. And, you know, just because he really wants to.]
[ okay, fuck, that laugh shouldn't be as hot as it is and dave shudders and bites his own lip and jesus. dave would respond but there's frenching happening and he's okay with that? he lets his arms slide around john's neck, maybe helping hold himself up a little but honestly not much because mostly he's clinging.
his heartbeat is all over the place, and his breathing is officially heavy and uneven and he's kissing more off mark than he usually does, half-distracted by everything else happening. when he does pull back he stays as close as he can get, breathing in john's air and eyes still shut sorry john.
his voice is barely there. ]
Fuck John you're so - I'm so - [ it's stupid to want this strung-out moment of closeness and affection and adrenaline to stretch out forever. there will be other moments.
that thought has dave's eyes opening as he peers up at john and his teeth are scraping over his lip again as he moans, too flushed. ]
[Clinging is also fine. If he's honest with himself, this is one of the things he's missed most about being in a relationship. He likes the intimacy of fooling around and watching someone else come undone solely because he exists and he's doing things. It's a different experience than his past relationship, but somehow this is even more rewarding given how much progress this marks for them.
Watching someone who just a year ago was so locked down and pokerfaced slowly unravel is fascinating and insanely attractive. Why the fuck doesn't he have a third hand to touch himself? Wait, no, that's a weird thought, what the fuck. Okay Egbert, don't be weird.
Dave moaning in his ear doesn't fucking help though and there's a pleased groan low in his throat in response.]
I love you. I love watching you come undone just by my hand and I love having you next to me and I love everything about you, even the parts you haven't fully shared yet. I love them because they're yours and that is all that matters to me. [It's still said in a low and drawn out sort of tone as his hand picks up its pace.] And I love that you finally totally believe me.
[ it's an endless circle. john groans and dave does the breathy moan thing again because he likes that sound, feels it in his dick and his fingernails are digging into the back of john's neck and dragging and that's probably not the best thing but he's not watching himself for once.
john's hot, and dave's always thought he was gorgeous even before he'd wanted to kiss him or had a crush because he's always been able to appreciate aesthetics on an artistic level. this isn't an artistic level even if something in the back of his mind can appreciate the contrast of blue eyes and summer-darkened skin, the way john's throat moves when he swallows. he likes how john's looking at him right now because it does make him feel like john wants this (holy fuck john wants him) and that's sort of exactly an answer he's needed for a while.
dave laughs, soft and unsteady. ]
John, m'not gonna last. I'm so close. [ but maybe that's sort of to be expected when he barely ever does this shit for himself any longer. ] Kiss me.
[ it's a demand and not a request and said as he drags john down again without giving him time to fully obey. ]
[He'll be surprised if he comes out of this without some bruises or bleeding given how reactive Dave is, but he still loves it. He still loves how this is turning out and watching Dave flush and squirm under him. It's hard not to want him and it's hard not to feel proud of himself for what's happening here. It's a weird almost drunk-like feeling but he gives him another crooked little smile.]
That's something I like to hear. [It's whispered and it's hard to say if he means the first or the last part, but he doesn't bother to fill him in and instead obliges to kiss him again. Maybe he still definitely doesn't mind being bossed around. Whatever.]
[ at least dave seems to be getting more used to bossing john around. it doesn't precisely come naturally when he isn't doing it for john's own good ("stop jetting off to the endgame boss at level one" sort of shit) but he knows john likes it so he tries.
the little smile is almost too much but he doesn't start jerking his hips up to thrust into john's hand until they're kissing. dave doesn't french john because he simply does not have the required focus but he's dragging him in desperate and this kind of maybe Impedes john getting to watch him come undone but also: fuck that, dave wants to kiss his boyfriend and john can watch another time.
it's not loud. he gasps against john's mouth and loses focus on the kiss even more and there's the softest little noise in the back of his throat when he jerks to a stop, come uncomfortably sticky on his stomach and john's hand.
but he can think about the kiss after a second and his grip on john loosens even as he concentrates on kissing his boyfriend stupid for the moment, trying to regain the ability to think. ]
[The prospect of "next time" is enough that he doesn't argue. Also, he won't argue an actual demand and he has enough focus to split his attention between these few things. Maybe that's a miracle in and of itself, but his primary focus is Dave's pleasure and that means trying harder than usual. He doesn't bother holding Dave's hips down, doesn't do anything to stop the kissing but he presses as close as he can, still jerking him even when he finally releases into his hand and between them. His hand doesn't entirely stop, slowing down mostly to milk him through it while he focuses on the kiss instead.
He's not going to pull back right away since he doesn't want to send that kind of message, but the kissing is the slow and lazy kind, the kind that says he approves and he's happy with that result.
...he'll deal with clean-up later. Kissing is more important.]
[ clean up can happen eventually and dave responds in kind with slow and lazy. eventually he pulls back a little, feeling his heartbeat slow into something more manageable and actually opening his eyes to look at john again.
...embarrassing. it's kind of embarrassing but it's weirdly okay, so even if he's still flushed there's an almost shy smile and that's dumb but it's still a new level of intimacy. ]
Hey. Gimme a second? [ he's not unaware that john still needs to be taken care of. ]
[He nods, grinning softly because that's weirdly cute, Dave. As it is he's pulling his hand away and ignoring the fact that it's a mess, contemplating what to do about it.] It's okay, babe. Take all the time you need.
[He kind of assumed he'd finish himself off, but that's chill. He's not even thinking about it even though it's blatantly obvious that turned him on more than Dave probably expected.]
[ like dave would let john finish himself off. he doesn't seem to know any more than john what to do about the mess, though. ]
Just wipe it on the sheets, we can change 'em. [ but his solution is pretty teenage boy. "we" means mostly "john" because dave has basically fuck all to do with the bedding. ] So, hey, do you want...
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Time and timing are two very different things, but I think we have made the best of both of them. [His hand doesn't immediately go back between Dave's legs yet because this is important.] I already told you that you were probably right that I wasn't mentally ready for any of this stuff but now I am and that is all that counts to me. I'm ready to actually move forward and in a way maybe it shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is because it's important and you're important. So yeah, I am kind of just babbling a little but thank you for trusting me and stuff. I'll do my best not to make this awkward.
[A pause.] You know I love you, don't you?
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[ dave pulls john down for a kiss by yanking on his hair a little, not really caring it's sort of stalling them from continuing because mostly he wants to kiss john and he thinks maybe they both need a moment. when he pulls back, his teeth scrape john's lip and dave smiles, eyes half lidded and warm. ]
...and I know you want me, which I wasn't for sure about. Pretty sure the reverse is also super obvious. So. I just want to be close to you in a new way too I guess? [ he's not into the idea of sex without feelings, apparently. ]
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Yeah. To, like, all of that. I know you love me, I definitely want you, and I am very into being close in a new way. With only you. Not that I thought there would be anyone else involved but you know what I mean. You're the only one who should know what this is like with me.
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If it was a whim we probably would have done this a while ago. So I think this was better. [He goes quiet for a beat.] ...ready?
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there's a quiet hum as he kisses john's jaw again. ] It's the main reason you shouldn't stress.
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You know, like the sound of his voice.]
The thing is, like, you are always going to make me a little nervous. In the good way. Because I love you and I want to make sure everything that happens between you and me is the best it can possibly be.
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that's a stupid thought and he's glad he didn't -
yeah nah he totally just said it aloud, didn't he. "you make my eyes happy".
dave groans and it's half at himself because WHY and half at what's happening. ]
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Yes, well, why do you think I go crazy when I get to look at yours? Just a thought. [His thumb slowly rubs over the head of Dave's dick while he seemingly contemplates. It never stops moving though even when his hand begins stroking him again.] You are a beautiful thing to look at.
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not like he's usually that great at it. ]
You're gorgeous. Fuck, John...your eyes are my favorite color, I think. [ helpful. he cants his hips up a little, whining through his teeth. ] I love you. [ he likes those words on his tongue so: ] Love you. Love you. [ it's mumbled like he gets sometimes, low and quiet but peppered with kisses to john's lips and cheeks and wherever he can reach. ] Don't even think "oh fuck" when I look at you and feel it hit me in the gut anymore. Still hits me in the gut, though. Like wham whenever I look over at you and you're just - jesus there, do that again.
[ probably john doesn't need dave to continue rhapsodizing about his feelings anyway so the self-interruption is maybe okay. ]
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And you used to wonder why I am in love with you. Where do you get off saying such nice things? [He squeezes his hand a little, gaze sharp and a crooked almost-smirk on his lips.] And people say flattery gets you nowhere. C'mere. [He's strong enough to hold himself up while perched on his knees, other hand moving to cradle the back of Dave's head and pull him forward to actually kiss him. There's barely a pause as he works his hand and also settles for frenching his boyfriend to shut him up for a few seconds. And, you know, just because he really wants to.]
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his heartbeat is all over the place, and his breathing is officially heavy and uneven and he's kissing more off mark than he usually does, half-distracted by everything else happening. when he does pull back he stays as close as he can get, breathing in john's air and eyes still shut sorry john.
his voice is barely there. ]
Fuck John you're so - I'm so - [ it's stupid to want this strung-out moment of closeness and affection and adrenaline to stretch out forever. there will be other moments.
that thought has dave's eyes opening as he peers up at john and his teeth are scraping over his lip again as he moans, too flushed. ]
Say it again. [ the part about love. ]
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Watching someone who just a year ago was so locked down and pokerfaced slowly unravel is fascinating and insanely attractive. Why the fuck doesn't he have a third hand to touch himself? Wait, no, that's a weird thought, what the fuck. Okay Egbert, don't be weird.
Dave moaning in his ear doesn't fucking help though and there's a pleased groan low in his throat in response.]
I love you. I love watching you come undone just by my hand and I love having you next to me and I love everything about you, even the parts you haven't fully shared yet. I love them because they're yours and that is all that matters to me. [It's still said in a low and drawn out sort of tone as his hand picks up its pace.] And I love that you finally totally believe me.
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john's hot, and dave's always thought he was gorgeous even before he'd wanted to kiss him or had a crush because he's always been able to appreciate aesthetics on an artistic level. this isn't an artistic level even if something in the back of his mind can appreciate the contrast of blue eyes and summer-darkened skin, the way john's throat moves when he swallows. he likes how john's looking at him right now because it does make him feel like john wants this (holy fuck john wants him) and that's sort of exactly an answer he's needed for a while.
dave laughs, soft and unsteady. ]
John, m'not gonna last. I'm so close. [ but maybe that's sort of to be expected when he barely ever does this shit for himself any longer. ] Kiss me.
[ it's a demand and not a request and said as he drags john down again without giving him time to fully obey. ]
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That's something I like to hear. [It's whispered and it's hard to say if he means the first or the last part, but he doesn't bother to fill him in and instead obliges to kiss him again. Maybe he still definitely doesn't mind being bossed around. Whatever.]
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the little smile is almost too much but he doesn't start jerking his hips up to thrust into john's hand until they're kissing. dave doesn't french john because he simply does not have the required focus but he's dragging him in desperate and this kind of maybe Impedes john getting to watch him come undone but also: fuck that, dave wants to kiss his boyfriend and john can watch another time.
it's not loud. he gasps against john's mouth and loses focus on the kiss even more and there's the softest little noise in the back of his throat when he jerks to a stop, come uncomfortably sticky on his stomach and john's hand.
but he can think about the kiss after a second and his grip on john loosens even as he concentrates on kissing his boyfriend stupid for the moment, trying to regain the ability to think. ]
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He's not going to pull back right away since he doesn't want to send that kind of message, but the kissing is the slow and lazy kind, the kind that says he approves and he's happy with that result.
...he'll deal with clean-up later. Kissing is more important.]
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...embarrassing. it's kind of embarrassing but it's weirdly okay, so even if he's still flushed there's an almost shy smile and that's dumb but it's still a new level of intimacy. ]
Hey. Gimme a second? [ he's not unaware that john still needs to be taken care of. ]
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[He kind of assumed he'd finish himself off, but that's chill. He's not even thinking about it even though it's blatantly obvious that turned him on more than Dave probably expected.]
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Just wipe it on the sheets, we can change 'em. [ but his solution is pretty teenage boy. "we" means mostly "john" because dave has basically fuck all to do with the bedding. ] So, hey, do you want...
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...don't feel obligated if you're not up to it, alright? I don't mind finishing myself.
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