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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[parodeity]

I miss it.

[splinten]

[There are a lot of ways to read that. He decides to ask.]

Miss what?

[parodeity]

The piece of me that could flip backwards in time. So I...get it. It feels wrong.

[splinten]

[Dirk nods, quietly.]

Talking to you like this helps. That's... another thing I keep feeling. Despite the worst parts of it, sitting you with alone together and talking clears my head. It makes me feel like these rooftops are a space that's just ours.

That might be delusional or stupid, I don't know. I'm worried—frightened, to be honest, and second guessin' everything all the damn time. But there's a comfort in being beside you and just... sharing these things.

I also feel guilty for feeling that way, though, and worse for saying it. It's the emotional manipulation thing, like I'm doing damage and being selfish by feeling it and saying it.

[parodeity]

[ it's not what's helped dave feel the most normal and at ease this week or this month, and he feels...terrible that that's how it is. sitting here he feels like his head isn't clear and won't ever be, but for the past week working tirelessly on something else he felt almost normal and sometimes even something approaching happy.

once sitting on a rooftop just talking to his brother would have accomplished that. ]

It's why I barely ever tell you how I feel these days. [ among other reasons, but guilt and fear are chief among them.

he doesn't say the rest of it. ]

[splinten]

I know. I get it, honestly. You asked, though, so I'll tell you anything you want to know about how I feel.

[He doesn't know what else there is to cover. He wants to formulate some version of the truth between them for fear that this might be the last time he can.]

Does a deal to tell me things help you, or does it hurt you?

[parodeity]

I don't know. Both, sometimes.

[splinten]

Okay.

[He turns over his shades in his hands.]

I want you to be able to hang out with me without worryin' about being dragged through somethin' like this. At the same time, I want to be able to listen to you and be there for you when you want or need me.

[parodeity]

It's fine if this helps you.

[ he doesn't give an opinion on the rest. ]

[splinten]

[Gently,]

I'm not who I'm worried about.

[parodeity]

Same here. S'why I shouldn't have said anything.

[splinten]

Disagree, but either way we're here. It isn't on you that things have changed, and it's okay that you have other-life baggage that affects how you see me. That's just how it is.

What helps you relax these days?

[parodeity]

Most recently it was hangin' out with Emil at the beach, and workin' on the shit we did after that. Before that? Colorin' sidewalk shit with Chiyo. Yato drawin' fan art. Getting new jobs.

[splinten]

Keeping busy?

[parodeity]

Usually. [ it doesn't always work, but as long as people let him distract himself it kind of does. ] You?

[splinten]

Basically the same. It's how I've always been and it hasn't really changed. It might have been how I was back in my apartment. Though I'm not as good at relaxing near people except around select individuals, same as it always has been. The family and close friends only.

[parodeity]

I used to find that relaxin'.

[splinten]

Now we're more dangerous than we aren't, though. [A light raise at the end asking for confirmation.]

[parodeity]

In most cases.

[splinten]

[There's a quiet nod.]

You still don't know what you need with me? What would help you best.

[parodeity]

I don't know what would help that I'm willin' to ask for.

[splinten]

Are you willin' to tell me what you won't ask for?

[parodeity]

How is that different from askin'?

[splinten]

Intention, essentially. You aren't making a request. [He kinda shrugs.] I figured that wasn't the important part to you and that you wouldn't be willing.

[parodeity]

Then why'd you ask? Yeah, I do know some stuff that would help, but it wouldn't...stick when it went away.