recollé ic inbox 2.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[splinten]

[He looks at Dave calmly, certainly.]

Even if I've lost you, at least I'll have protected you. No matter what, I intend on doing everything I can to keep you safe.

[He hits send.]

[parodeity]

[ he hadn't read the message, and dave just shakes his head. ]

When you need to backtrack on this, I won't be mad. Just...keep that in mind, I guess.

[splinten]

I'm not going to. [He shows Dave the message.] Like I said. I don't want to be the one who makes someone remember that about you.

[parodeity]

[ ... ]

Then I guess let me know when it gets to be too much.

[splinten]

This is the only choice I can accept makin'.

[He stands up from the roof's edge.]

Sand castle or horse mural?

[parodeity]

When it gets to be too much, I'll make the other one for you. So let me know when you can't handle it any longer.

[ dave sits a moment longer before standing, shoving his hands into his pockets and shrugging. there's no relaxation or half-smile or any of the usual signs of contentment that admittedly have been fairly rare. ]

Whichever you want. I said it was your choice, and it is.

[splinten]

[It gets him to freeze.]

How are you going to make the other choice for me?

[parodeity]

You'll find out someday. Mural or beach?

[splinten]

Dave. [He can guess and it terrifies him.] Please don't ever tell anyone for my sake. That is the exact opposite of what I'd want.

[parodeity]

Mural or beach?

[splinten]

[He pushes his shades back on, so Dave won't see him shut his eyes tight.]

Beach.

[parodeity]

Sure. It shouldn't take more than like ten minutes tops, if that.

[ he steps off the roof and drops to the ground, only bothering to slow down when he can just step onto the ground itself. ]

[splinten]

Dave—[Dirk jumps after him on instinct and tries to catch him. Something like that terrifies him.]

[parodeity]

[ assuming dirk catches up before dave reaches the ground, he'll jerk away to set himself down, hands in his pockets. ]

I changed my mind. I want you to do the thing where you ask before touchin' me. And I would prefer you to not, just now.

[splinten]

[Dirk freezes completely and stares.]

...Okay. Sorry.

[parodeity]

It's whatever. Let's get this done.

[ he will head towards the beach. ]

[splinten]

[He stops, though.] Do you want to stop this? Do you want to stop Saturdays, cancel beach and mural plans. [He doesn't dare ask about the ReConvention. If Dave says no to these, then—then he probably will say no to those, too. And his stomach feels sick at the idea.]

[parodeity]

[ the answer isn't yes, but it isn't no, either. dave comprimises in the interest of honesty for his stupid bingo with: ]

We can. It might be easiest. [ facts, no opinion. ]

[splinten]

That isn't what I asked.

[parodeity]

I can't give you a resoundin' "no".

[splinten]

I can listen to the mixed answer.

[parodeity]

[ he's quiet for about five minutes. ]

Bein' around you these days hurts more often than it doesn't, and it'll be worse now. I hate it. I probably won't enjoy this like you want me to. But fuck me because I guess puttin' up with it is a thing I still intend to do. It's not a no and it's not a yes. It just is.

[splinten]

[He keeps himself steady and calm.]

If you're miserable you can be off the hook. Same thing as you pushed on me.

[parodeity]

It's not the same thing.

[ but it's his decision, apparently, so...what's best? dave already knows any of the options won't really do great for him, so.

okay.

a wound probably can't heal if you keep jamming a finger in it, and gangrene or cancer will just keep spreading if you don't cut it out. the halfway bullshit probably makes things worse on dirk. dave takes a breath, and says: ]

We can stop them. I'll see you at family gatherin' shit still, probably.

[splinten]

It feels like the same thing.

[He's quiet still, but his monotone isn't level, breaking uneasily, rising in distress as he talks.]

It feels like having someone yank the choice out of my hand and step on it while they say it's for my own good. It feels like gettin' told I can't make an A+ so I'm getting flunked out of school and left with jackshit. It feels like losin' my best friend.

[It's too much. He knows it. It's too much and he goes still again, his voice dropping back down.]

So I wanted to give you the choice. Stupid of me for hopin' you'd ever decide I was worth the work of tryin'. Stupid and selfish as usual.

Fuck.

[He isn't supposed to talk like that. He isn't supposed to let out how deep the hate goes anymore, or tell the truth of how bad things hurt.]