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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[splinten]

Of course I'm worried about it, Dave. It's fuckin' you up just to imagine people working it out. From your position, it's an hour glass running out of sand, and your best chance of escapin' game over is if someone knocks the hourglass off the desk completely.

[Quieter, but no less clearly,]

I am on your side. I know I can't be who you need, and I'm sorry. But this is a thing I want to protect you from. You don't deserve to have that... ripped out of you like this. It isn't right.

[parodeity]

It's not right to not let you talk about shit with people either, just because of - that. You do deserve better than me, bro. You deserve...everyone else. So it's up to you. Just...warn me if you do, I guess.

[ so he can consider death as an alternative or something

or something less drastic but that option sounds better than ever addressing the bro thing with anyone else ]

[splinten]

[He frowns.] Maybe it ain't fully right, but I also don't deserve 'better' than you. You're what I want. No matter how badly we're doing, you're important to me.

[The frown deepens. He doesn't know what to do.]

I won't talk to the trolls about anything. We don't interact much, and I don't think we did in the memories, either. I don't have any prior obligations to them, either. That one is easy.

Roxy, I'll tell her I can't talk about things. She'll maybe be annoyed, but I think she'll accept it if I tell her that I don't want to. If she gets that memory back, she'll likely go to you first, and if she goes to me I'll stick to the point that I can't talk about it and warn you. If it does reach that point... [He looks over at Dave.] I want to find a way to be a buffer between you, her, and the revelation. You can call me in to intervene.

[He pauses, because it leaves one person.]

You come before Jake. That isn't the issue, I protect you first. On top of that, he seems to prefer not to talk about it, and I don't want him to start. But if I tell you the effects of refusing to talk to Jake if he brings it up, I'm pretty sure I'll be forcin' your hand. No matter how willing I say I am, you'll think it's too unfair.

That's why I asked about whether or not you think he might be able to remember. I think you'll hate yourself if if I refuse to talk to him even about memories he has, and I think you'll never trust me to stick to that. I'd guess that you'd also expect me to resent you for it. Even though it's something I think I can do, I'm concerned that it's something that you can't accept me doing.

[parodeity]

It'd have negative effects on you. Tellin' Roxy no wouldn't, but tellin' Jake no would. So that settles it, doesn't it? I can't ask you to do somethin' for me that'd hurt you. The alternative is always preferable, no matter how willin' you are. You're right.

[ he doesn't even specify what alternative he means, staring down at the ground and frowning. ]

I'm sorry for ever bringin' you into this. I never should have called you any of those times. I know you wanted me to, I know you think you'd know what was up if I hadn't, but I'm sorry I did. It caused all of this. I won't make the same mistake again. Not for the millionth time.

[splinten]

I think it would damage my relationship with him. Despite that, I'd take the hit.

[But Dirk is being honest, and this is what they got stuck with]

What's the alternative? Makin' you take the hit isn't... It isn't preferable to me.

[parodeity]

It's okay, Dirk. I made a decision. I know what I'm gonna do.

[ want or need don't come into it. dave straightens out of his habitual slouch. his expression smooths out into bro's calm nothing and he speaks quietly but firmly. ]

As long as you want Saturdays and strife sessions we'll do those. If you call it quits, if you think it's too forced or fake or just stop wantin' to, we'll stop, no questions asked. Whatever time I've promised you already is yours to keep.

Consider yourself completely free of every promise you've ever made to me minus the decapitation thing. I'd still appreciate a heads up, but...you don't have to do that either, I guess. [ he sorts dirk mentally out of the category he'd been in and dumps him in the other, the one with everyone else in the world, and out of the halfway sort of trust he'd struggled to maintain. ] If you want or need to talk about or share your memories with people, feel free. I'd appreciate you not sharin' mine, but I won't enforce that, either, if that's a thing you end up needin' to do.

[ he doesn't fidget with his hands. there's no excess movement at all. ]

I'm not gonna do this again, though. Talkin' about things with you, from this world or the last one. When I need help, I won't call for you. I'll handle it alone. I'll do what you offered and I won't tell you what I remember, and whatever comes up, I'll handle it.

[splinten]

I shouldn't have told you. I should have lied and said it wouldn't hurt.

[It's a quiet dead whisper. He should have lied. He should have said it would be fine, nothin would hurt. He should have lied and told Dave everything would be okay and there wouldn't be any problems. He should have pulled Dave's own move on him and lied.]

[parodeity]

That's not the only factor. [ dave's voice is still quiet and calm and completely and totally controlled. he doesn't breathe. ] I've considered it before. Now I decided.

[splinten]

I never wanted to tell anyone about your things. It'd fuck me up if I was the one who made someone figure out what you went through. I—it isn't something—That just isn't the kind of shit I could stand makin' happen.

[parodeity]

[ he shrugs. he doesn't look over at dirk, and he doesn't slouch. ]

I'll forgive you when it happens. Did you still want to spend today together?

[splinten]

It isn't forgiveness I care about. It's making someone remember, forcing that on you—letting people know and see. I can't. I won't.

[He grabs his phone from his pocket and flips it on. He's going for Jake's number. He's going to stop this now.]

[parodeity]

Someone will eventually. What are you even doin'?

[splinten]

I'm telling Jake that I can't talk to him about our memories. I'll tell him that I just can't handle it.

[He is legit typing up the message. Assuming Dave doesn't stop him from typing, this is the message he is composing and will send.

Jake, bro. I've been thinking about our memories. I've decided I don't want to talk about them.
I want to face you in this life. I don't want the baggage from our last one. Can we agree to just focus on what's here and leave out the rest?]

[parodeity]

I'm not gonna change my mind, Dirk, so you don't have to. Don't...do this to yourself. You can still go to everyone else. The only change is I'm not an option.

[splinten]

[He looks at Dave calmly, certainly.]

Even if I've lost you, at least I'll have protected you. No matter what, I intend on doing everything I can to keep you safe.

[He hits send.]

[parodeity]

[ he hadn't read the message, and dave just shakes his head. ]

When you need to backtrack on this, I won't be mad. Just...keep that in mind, I guess.

[splinten]

I'm not going to. [He shows Dave the message.] Like I said. I don't want to be the one who makes someone remember that about you.

[parodeity]

[ ... ]

Then I guess let me know when it gets to be too much.

[splinten]

This is the only choice I can accept makin'.

[He stands up from the roof's edge.]

Sand castle or horse mural?

[parodeity]

When it gets to be too much, I'll make the other one for you. So let me know when you can't handle it any longer.

[ dave sits a moment longer before standing, shoving his hands into his pockets and shrugging. there's no relaxation or half-smile or any of the usual signs of contentment that admittedly have been fairly rare. ]

Whichever you want. I said it was your choice, and it is.

[splinten]

[It gets him to freeze.]

How are you going to make the other choice for me?

[parodeity]

You'll find out someday. Mural or beach?

[splinten]

Dave. [He can guess and it terrifies him.] Please don't ever tell anyone for my sake. That is the exact opposite of what I'd want.

[parodeity]

Mural or beach?

[splinten]

[He pushes his shades back on, so Dave won't see him shut his eyes tight.]

Beach.