parodeity | WEEK ONE: WEDNESDAY, THE POOL

Things you'd take pictures of.

[ ok dave. thanks. ]

I can't promise to pick a non-chambered bullet. Luck of the draw. Kinda thought I did this time, but fuck me, I guess. [ he is still muttering this into dirk's shoulder. ]

I'd lend you the camera but it gets stuck up if anyone else tries to hold it. [So he's the only one who can play his role, as he suspected would be the case.

Dirk isn't trying to get him out of the weird awkward hug, also.] Will it be the same day every week?

See. If you die, that goes away.

[ oh my god dave why is that what you take away from this shit ]

Dunno. Might be better to do it sooner just in case it kills me.

That was not the point. [Brat.]

You take the worst thoughts away from everythin'. Wouldn't it be better to do it later in case it kills you?

I'll probably stick to earlier.

[ just get it Over with. ]

There's...I've got contingencies. You're one of 'em.

[He does not want to be a contingency. He wants to be the one making other people be a contingency. Not cool, Dave.]

Believe it or not, I'm not scared of what happens after you die. It's the dying part I worry about.

[ yeah it doesn't feel great to not be the one making people be contingencies, does it, that is why dave prefers to be the one doing it ]

Same difference, dude.

My point is that the contingencies don't comfort me. I want you alive for you, not what you do.

[It's certain but not aggressive. He's stating it as a fact instead of something he's trying to shove on Dave. Like explaining something.]

Just... let me know before you go, okay?

Maybe.

[ not encouraging but he hasn't pulled away yet. so there's...that? he still hasn't fucking explained why he's clinging to dirk, who he still...well, doesn't love? he isn't sure if it's like, either. it's not even familiar, because there is nothing familiar about this scenario.

but he can't really ask the other people he speaks to for this sort of thing, because he is supposed to be stronger than this.

at least that illusion was already shattered for dirk. ]

Are you sure you don't want anythin' in return.

All kinds of sure, dude.

[He wants Dave safe but he knows it's something he can't get. He wants to be there for Dave but he knows it's something he has to take as it is offered to him. So he wants nothing, and keeps Dave close, and in a way relaxes into this stupid Strider cling.]

If I have somethin' to give you, even?

[ cool. they're on the floor of the clinic and - ]

We gotta get back. Curfew.

Then give it to me if you want to, or don't if you don't. No debts on this.

[Ah yes. Curfew.]

We've got a little time.

[They met at 8 and curfew is at midnight so PROBABLY they can afford to do this a little longer if needed.

Also I forgot to mention it but this emotional conversation has probably been punctuated by awkward horrorterror dust coughs.]

I wouldn't give it to you without any of this shit bein' a thing. But does that really make it a thing you do not want?

[ oh my god. great. the horrorterror dust coughs kind of cinch it. dave...pulls back, although he doesn't stand up from the floor. he fiddles with the hem of his shirt out of awkward nerves. ]

[God these awkward idiots. Dirk swallows down another cough.]

I probably do want it, given everything that's going on here and your general reticence about everything. What I'm tryin' to say is—[HACK COUGH CTHULHU PHLEGM]—there ain't a debt, at least not from my perspective. You're free to make whatever choice settles things how you'd be most comfortable with them. If that means giving me whatever,, sure, I'll take it. But if you figure you'll regret it, then we're cool without.

I regret a lot of my life choices.

[ like. in general. that happens. still - he doesn't hesitate a second longer and figures dirk has put up with enough tonight to get something.

dave strider reaches up and removes his shades, because he figures that has to fucking count, somehow. it's not like he's incapable of it, but he hates doing it, doesn't like being asked to do it, and prefers to avoid the fuck out of it.

his eyes are red with pale lashes, and there are probably shadows under them but like. what is sleeping normally. ]

[Dirk's startled and he stares at them, eyes wide and surprised behind his own shades (put in place by Dave, and he's noticed how Dave doesn't like to take them off, but—) and he takes in the colour more than the shadows although they mirror Dirk's own, the same-but-different. It's font colours, of course, they are all stupidly their font colours, and he's seen Dave's font so he knows but—]

Thank you.

[Because he has wanted to see those eyes.

Because he knows that it means a lot to Dave to show them, even if he doesn't know why.]

Sorry about tonight. [ for making dirk agree to lie, and the cough he hasn't been able to shake, for not really completely trusting dirk because he's got about a week against thirteen (fourteen) years, for not having a better backup plan in place.

for knowing he'll do something stupid next week, too. ]

...And thanks. [ he shoves the shades back on after that, still somehow hesitant and unsure, but at least if he dies sometime in the future he maybe had to have made up for some of it. maybe.

(he knows it isn't enough, but he can't make himself do otherwise) ]

[Dirk doesn't say, 'Sorry for your entire childhood,' but it's one of the weights that hangs on him and it's probably why he'll take so much of this from Dave. The desperation to have any kind of connection doesn't help. He doesn't get up yet, or pull away. His cough isn't really going to die any time soon, he thinks.]

It's okay.

[To both of those, maybe.]

I didn't mean to keep up the trend of saddlin' you with my failures.

[ like. since bro had to used to pick up his slack, he means, but he isn't clear. ]

I—what? [He does not. Understand?] This isn't that. [And 'trend' makes no sense unless it's in reference to the alternate universe him but Dirk doesn't know exactly how.]

I should've been able to handle it on my own?

[ THE...FIGURING OUT WHAT THE FUCK TO DO ABOUT HIS BROKEN FINGERS, which: how, but also. ]

[Well. There's a little frown, and also:]

I was grateful for the chance to do something helpful for you instead of something harmful. So it's okay.

You specifically ain't done anything harmful to me so far.

[ ... ]

Like, arm bruise aside, but that was whatever. [ he only corrects that part so dirk doesn't argue about it first. and like. it's factually true? so far dirk has done jack shit to him.

it still somehow fails to make it easier. ]

You just referencing a thing that could only possibly be in reference to your Bro. You can't count him as me and then not let me do the same, dude.

[He has yet to learn how hypocritical Dave is. It's a young, naive Dirk we have here.

Also are they just sitting on the floor for this. Idiots.]

I can when you ain't ever done the shit he did to anyone.

[ he's a hypocrite and will do what he damn well pleases?

also yeah they are. ]

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