recollé ic inbox 5.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[parodeity]

[ the truest test of any friendship, tbh. ] Of course she does, we're Texan.

[windeity]

You are definitely the only Texans I know. And she sent me quizzes about what kind of dog I am so that is not that confidence-inspiring.

[parodeity]

And what kind of dog are you, Egbert? I'd say...labrador or golden retriever.

[windeity]

You and Rose both said that. Her guess was a chocolate lab or a pug, but according to the four different quizzes she made me take it was...a corgi, a basset hound, a husky, and an australian shepherd. So I guess you were both wrong.

[parodeity]

I should be more right than buzzfeed??

[windeity]

I don't know dude. Buzzfeed is pretty accurate on some things? [Absolutely not.]

[parodeity]

Yeah, but you're not datin' buzzfeed? Learn to white lie on fancy dates, Eggs.

[windeity]

Whatever, I don't like lying to you. Even white lies. [Just a push to his shin.] But you are a lot more appealing than Buzzfeed anyway.

[parodeity]

That is literally the most romantic thing you've ever said to me. [ IT'S NOT. dave loses his shoe because he has no idea what he's doing. ]

[windeity]

[It's fine, he'll use his foot to draw Dave's shoe closer and away from Dave because he's an asshole.]

I will have to up my game then. I'm still learning how to meme.

[parodeity]

[ dick. dave just slides his foot along john's other shin. :/ ]

It's cute when you fuck 'em up, anyway.

[windeity]

[He jumps slightly because he wasn't expecting that? Fuck off, Dave.]

Someday I will actually do them right! And that will probably be a day I regret everything. [Not really. But he's back to picking apart the rest of his lobster to move onto his steak.] I cannot believe you think that's cute.

[parodeity]

[ no, john has the option to give back the shoe? so he's just idly doing the pressure up and down john's shin. fuck off, egbert. ]

Tell you what, pull off a flawless day of memes and I will give you a prize. [ he'll work on his potato. ]

[windeity]

[This is probably sending his gambit straight the fuck down, thanks Dave. But he's also not giving up first.]

How the hell does that even work? You cannot just drop memes into normal conversation, Dave.

[parodeity]

[ dave isn't even being as big an asshole as he could be? but he looks faintly amused as he just continues to basically fondle john's leg ig ]

Guess you just don't have enough skill yet, then.

[windeity]

[His other foot tries to push Dave's away? Rude!!!]

Like you do? [#doubt.]

[parodeity]

[ dave just pouts. why isn't john letting him do stupid flirting. ]

[windeity]

[...he shifts his leg so Dave can continue??]

[parodeity]

[ .........

HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CONTINUE!!!!!!!!

there's a sheepish laugh as dave concedes and hooks his foot back behind his own ankle, just figuring he'll snag his shoe later. ]

I think we're getting distracted.

[windeity]

That happens a lot with you and me. I usually don't mind, but we're also in a fancy restaurant where I cannot lean over the table and kiss you. Plus we still have other stuff to do.

[parodeity]

Yeah, maybe not the best idea to feel you up at a five star joint. [ he has bad ideas frequently. ]

[windeity]

I mean I cannot say I mind? But I'm also not in the mood to get kicked out when we're not even done with dinner yet.

[parodeity]

You still haven't made out with me at work. [ THIS IS...COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO ANYTHING as he tries to work through his potato ]

[windeity]

[Just a sly look.]

You haven't made out with me either.

[parodeity]

You're the one who pinned me to a wall like two times and never followed through, so I think it is more on you??