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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[windeity]

Polaroids would be pretty cool. You could string them up on your side of the room and stuff. [But ah. That explains that.] What about just borrowing one of the darkrooms on campus? You could probably sweettalk somebody in the arts department.

[He'll just start making pancakes at this point.]

[parodeity]

Yeah. I'll have to look into trackin' one down. I used to actually have strings of photos that were dryin' and shit in my room?

[ dave talks about dirk like john talks - or talked - about his dad: intermittently and uncertainly. ]

And obviously I could flirt my way into anythin', regardless of what Hasumi thinks. I've actually used theirs once or twice, it's just not...very conducive to developing shit at like, two am or whatever?

[windeity]

I know. I mean I remember seeing the lines. [He's carefully making sure the pancakes are perfectly round and seems to be very specific about what he's doing. He doesn't bring up Dirk again because he can get that Dave redirects around it.]

I don't know who that is, but you probably could for reasons I do not get sometimes. We could probably set something up in here if you tried.

[parodeity]

In my room in this lifetime, I meant. But yeah, that one. And Keito. Keito Hasumi?

[ dave rolls his eyes. ]

One, it's because I am obviously smokin' in addition to being charming as fuck, two, the dorm's a little small and I don't mind the constant smell of chemicals but you might. And Mewpac. I'd be worried she'd get into the shit.

[windeity]

Oh. Well obviously I have never been in your room here so I'm assuming. And I actually did not know that was Keito's last name. [Oops.]

One, shut up. But two okay you have a point. I'd be worried about her poisoning herself, too. She's still a baby. [He apparently has nothing to say about chemical smells for himself, so he flips the pancakes in the pan. They probably smell delicious at this point.]

[parodeity]

She also gets into everything, which is a cat thing, but yeah: I wouldn't feel comfortable runnin' a darkroom with her around unless I had a door that locked and more space.

[ it's actually a reasonable concern so SOMETIMES his objections are more nuanced than "this is a nice thing i do not deserve".

he slides his phone out to snap a shot because his camera is not on him, shut up. ]

[windeity]

Maybe someday then. [He's somehow capable of doing that perfect flip where it lands on the spatula again while he cooks it for a little longer on one side. These pancakes are going to be awesome, and he doesn't notice or care about Dave taking pictures.] I've thought about it some and I really want my own studio space, I think.

[parodeity]

Finally gettin' tired of sharing your workspace with the entire university?

[ there's a hint of amusement but at least he doesn't tell john to flip majors Again. he thinks it, but. ]

It'd probably be good for you. Come to think of it, I've never had any space bigger than one room that was "mine", and I haven't had that here for more than like a year or two. And I don't currently, obviously.

[windeity]

They keep having to kick me out lately. [He'll probably change majors Someday okay. Still...he's busy sliding a few pancakes on a plate now before he turns to grab a fork and a small bottle of syrup that drops out of his sylladex.]

I like having space to spread out. Obviously I don't mind sharing a room with you but mutual space is okay, too, when it's more than one room. Here, breakfast.

[parodeity]

You need to eat. [ apparently dave will not be eating until john is, annoying asshole that he is. ] ...It's not so much about space for me. I prefer smaller spaces when I can get them but...various ones, with multiple ways in and out, I guess?

[windeity]

There's still batter left, dummy. I'm making them as fast as I can. [It's said in his usual calm manner as he turns back to begin making another set of pancakes.] So like...I can't think of a good comparison right now, but I think I understand. You just like being able to come and go whenever you want.

[parodeity]

[ the plate is carefully set on the counter and dave will leave them for now. ]

To what degree that's possible, yeah. [ there's something quiet and hidden in how he says that, but. ]

[windeity]

[It's easier to have this conversation when he's not looking at Dave.]

You usually stay with me though.

[parodeity]

I do.

[ ......................

completely fails to explain why, his tone a little strangely quieter, but. ]

[windeity]

[...

It's hard to say what the fuck he's actually thinking, but he finishes making up two of his own pancakes before taking the pan off of the burner, sliding the pancakes onto a plate and turning off the stove. He stares at the bowl of batter for a minute before he turns back to Dave with a carefully neutral face.]

Put Mewpac down for a sec and come here.

[parodeity]

[ it's weirdly not an expression (lack of expression) he likes seeing on john, which is hilariously hypocritical as fuck. not that dave actually thinks about his poker face much at all at seventeen; it's second nature.

he gently sets the kitten on the ground because she'd do damage to the food on the counter, and slides off the stool to walk over and stand in front of john.

dave raises one eyebrow, prompting john to do whatever. he still has the blanket over his shoulders like a shawl. ]

[windeity]

[He's careful not to let Mewpac escape too far or step on her when she wanders, but Dave stops in front of him and he continues giving him a strangely blank look before lifting on his toes to match heights.

Someday Dave will probably get used to sporadic hugs. Maybe. Is there an explanation? Maybe, but fuck if he's going to elaborate yet.]

[parodeity]

[ things john probably doesn't intend to cause: dave tensing the fuck up at the continued blank look, so that his casual posture is proven to be a complete lie when john actually reaches out to hug him. since it's harder to act relaxed when someone is touching him and can feel the way his muscles are tied up in knots here.

he's not sure if he fucked up or not, actually. ]

John?

[windeity]

[He has zero explanation that he's willing to explain yet, so.]

Sup. [To borrow from Dave's vocabulary...but he's back up to his normal body temperature at least and he's not shivering and he's pretty sturdy otherwise. He's not entirely surprised that Dave isn't as relaxed but that's mostly coming from a place of observing Dave a lot lately.]

[parodeity]

[ DAVE IS still kind of cold actually, but less frigid than he was outside. just. he warms up slower. he doesn't immediately relax, even though he'd shifted to accommodate john even while tense, automatically steadying john-standing-on-tiptoe with his hands at john's waist. ]

...I don't know, you tell me?

[windeity]

[He doesn't reply immediately and instead he keeps his face hidden in Dave's shoulder for the time being. It's a little startling to be able to hear and measure each one of Dave's breaths and he thinks about what was just said.

"You usually stay with me though."
"I do."

And he thinks about October and he thinks about the meeting they're bound to next week because John opened his mouth and he thinks about piano accompaniments and late night movies and pink moon sand and a plethora of other things while he realizes that Dave is the type of person who doesn't want to stay trapped in something and that Dave's sacrificial to a fault.

There are other things, too, that he won't think about at the moment because they're confusing so he leaves them. What he says instead is:]

Do I give you enough outs for when you need them?

[parodeity]

[ that...sure is a question. dave's pulse speeds up but his breathing doesn't, even and slow. he has no idea how to respond for a second because it isn't the sort of question people usually ask him. in two days, he'll probably think about this question when someone else talks to him about claustrophobia and open spaces and understanding being broken and people who understand there are things you just can't handle.

right now, he stalls out, uncertain how to answer. he can't remember if he told john ever he'd offered to tell everyone everything just to keep dirk happy, once. ]

...Now why would you ask me that one? We talked about this already today. [ did they? ]

[windeity]

["I used to just talk, sometimes."
"What changed? Besides the obvious, of course."
"...It was my fault. I asked for a little too much, and I knew it, and it's why I tried to get him not to agree to any of it at the outset. And eventually it got to the point where my first instinct when shit went wrong was not to call my brother, but was to run away."

He doesn't feel the adjustment in Dave's pulse, doesn't understand that shift and he obviously can't know of anything future Dave will do. Instead...instead, Dave says that and John's arms tighten just a little more.]

Did we? We've talked about a lot of things today.

[parodeity]

[ all right. shit. it's one of those conversations where he feels like he's balancing on razor-thin glass over a straight drop into nothing. dave pauses again, before he shifts, left hand leaving john's waist to reach up and dislodge john from his shoulder, fingers hooking under john's chin and carefully turning his face up so dave can see what he's working with. ]

Egbert. Don't think, just answer. If I told you to fuck off and leave me alone, full stop, what would you do?

[windeity]

[He's not quite so blank anymore seeing how he's never been great at having a blank expression in the first place. He's nervous and curious and a little something unidentifiable. The question scares him because he doesn't know what the right answer is, so there's another short lull.

But then again, Dave said don't think and just answer.]

Say no. [That would be instinct.] Mostly because I know you better than that, and I would know if you were really serious. And even if you were the answer would be no because I don't think that is one of the things that should just go without a fight at all because you're...you. [Which means?] Meeting your own circumstances for why you'd make me leave doesn't count. The only time I'd actually do it would be if I could one-hundred percent be certain this was what you wanted and not because you think it'd be better for me or because it seems like something I secretly want or whatever.

But. If in the end that is really, truly something you were sure of I'd try to understand. [Try to understand, sure, but not necessarily just walk away. Without notice the grip on Dave tenses up a little. It's a scary concept, but it's also a concept that could maybe someday happen, given what Dave's told him.]