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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[windeity]

[He's not quite so blank anymore seeing how he's never been great at having a blank expression in the first place. He's nervous and curious and a little something unidentifiable. The question scares him because he doesn't know what the right answer is, so there's another short lull.

But then again, Dave said don't think and just answer.]

Say no. [That would be instinct.] Mostly because I know you better than that, and I would know if you were really serious. And even if you were the answer would be no because I don't think that is one of the things that should just go without a fight at all because you're...you. [Which means?] Meeting your own circumstances for why you'd make me leave doesn't count. The only time I'd actually do it would be if I could one-hundred percent be certain this was what you wanted and not because you think it'd be better for me or because it seems like something I secretly want or whatever.

But. If in the end that is really, truly something you were sure of I'd try to understand. [Try to understand, sure, but not necessarily just walk away. Without notice the grip on Dave tenses up a little. It's a scary concept, but it's also a concept that could maybe someday happen, given what Dave's told him.]

[parodeity]

[ okay, this is one of those times dave is just going to respond with. inappropriate laughter because that wasn't actually what he expected john to say so. it's a quiet huff of laughter and his grip on john's chin loosens and. what the hell. ]

Okay, let's dial it back to - don't think, just answer: what if I told you I needed you to fuck off for a day, or a week? For me.

[windeity]

[To be fair that wasn't entirely the answer he expected either when he started talking so there's a confused frown. At least this time his response when Dave starts laughing isn't to stalk off and be mad. He's also not sure what the hell Dave's getting at, so he answers.]

You didn't give me a space of time before, asshole. That is a lot more doable and I'd probably check just to make sure things were okay between us and then fuck off for a day or a week. [He makes a face.] I get wanting space and alone time sometimes, whatever.

[Yeah this. Is not clicking at all. He'll get there in a bit...]

[parodeity]

[ he drops john's chin entirely, and dave's hand slides down to rest at the side of john's neck like that's not weird but whatever. ]

So, [ to summarize ] If I told you to fuck off for a specific amount of time you would, and if I told you to leave me alone permanently and really, genuinely meant it for me, you'd try.

[windeity]

[Dave what the fuck.]

I'd be pretty unhappy about it, but yeah. That would be the thing, I guess.

[parodeity]

[ which part are we even what the fucking here. like yes, it is weird to stand here with one hand at john's waist and the other at his neck but like we could also be what the fucking how he chooses to have this conversation at all???

of course, that's another closed door, isn't it? dave isn't sure how well he can make his point. because he won't ever genuinely completely be able to ask john to do something that would make him unhappy. there's a pause after that where he just chews on his bottom lip before he just proceeds anyway. ]

Has it ever occurred to you that there are cages people make for themselves?

[windeity]

[Both. It's always both and John's never sure how to keep up with anything and he has the vague awareness that the pancakes will get cold but pancakes reheat well so he's less thinking of that. He lets Dave hold his waist and his neck and he keeps quiet while he waits.]

Yes. It has. Though I suppose that depends on the kind of cage.

[parodeity]

How does it depend?

[ - and as usual he gets derailed from his point to clarify what john's saying, curious and easily distracted as ever... ]

[windeity]

If the cages are created because people provided the materials, or if they were handcrafted all on their own. [Metaphors are hard.] But why do you ask?

[parodeity]

Because, [ because? ] The ways in which I can't get away from you aren't on you. So yeah, they exist. But they're not your fault, and you do your best to...let me fuck off as far as I can go, if I need to. You asked me if you gave me enough outs, right?

[ his fingers tap on the side of john's neck, frenetic even when his face is perfectly calm. ]

What other outs even are there, John?

[windeity]

["Not strong-arming you into something that's clearly made you uncomfortable?"

Naturally he doesn't say that. He lets Dave tap out a pattern on his neck and he keeps his expression as calm as possible while he thinks of a more appropriate answer.]

I don't know. I just wanted to be sure that the decisions I've been making aren't caging you in just because you'll follow me pretty much everywhere I'll go. Just because that's a thing doesn't mean I want to abuse it.

[parodeity]

[ stupidly it does not occur to dave that there is any sort of relationship that does not involve someone strong-arming him into things that make him uncomfortable so. whatever. ]

As you've pointed out, I'm an adult. My decisions aren't yours to get all bent up out of shape over. I'm fine? You're...you.

[windeity]

[He opens his mouth to say something and there's a little puff of air when he changes his mind but he falls quiet again.

Saying "I don't want to be like your brother" isn't going to help, maybe.]

You get crazy about my decisions, so I am just saying it should be allowed to be both ways. You got on my case earlier about what I want and...this is what I want. So. Shut up.

[parodeity]

Be more specific?

[ because john cannot mean having what feels like but does not sound like an argument in the kitchen at nearing five am while pancakes get cold, surely. ]

[windeity]

[He's also yet to let go of Dave so that might be another hint.]

I want to actually understand what it is you're thinking half the time if you'll let me. I know we've talked about this but I'm serious.

[parodeity]

[ IS IT REALLY. john has his arms around dave and dave has a hand at john's waist and he has no fucking clue how to deal with serious faced john.

abruptly, he lets his hand fall from john's neck and executes a spin to the right and pulls him into

a waltz

to keep himself busy, mostly. it's a little easier to think. he could have done something stupider but it is hard to think what. ]

Worry a little less? I'm not running away from you. Do you want me to?

[windeity]

[What the fuck Dave.

Luckily (or unluckily? Fuck why is their life so goddamn stupid?) this isn't the first time that Dave's done this and he can keep up even if he's now apparently waltzing with his roommate at nearly 5am in his pajamas and their mutated cat is watching them.]

Absolutely not, why the fuck would I want that?

[parodeity]

[ the other option was asking john to have a sword fight at five am and that would maybe be stupider????

stop going along with this sort of bullshit, john. ]

Lots of reasons, but mainly I don't know how to say it so you'll believe it when I say you're not trappin' me into shit. Or at least I - [ annoyed noise and he will do another stupid turn in the kitchen because it's activity and that helps ] - do not think that anyone ever cares about anyone else without kind of tyin' themselves down. That is a thing that happens when you love people regardless of whether or not you mean it to. I would cut out my heart and stamp on it if Rose asked me to, but that doesn't mean she's makin' me stay, or that she's at fault for my loving her that way?

[windeity]

[Also acceptable but that is colder so. Okay. He'll play along for a few minutes but give him time and he'll stop them.]

I do believe it but you have to admit sometimes it can be hard to tell what you're thinking when you close on me without warning. I don't mind if you wall off but it's a shift I'm getting used to. [What if he tries to take the lead and spin them?] But you also argued with me about monopolizing my time no matter what I said, so what's that about?

[parodeity]

[ dave gives the lead away without missing a single beat, allowing himself to slip into follow-along role and matching his pace to john's instead of the other way around. it's a familiar sort of routine; he's spent too much of his time dancing in this life not to take comfort in it.

this is really the sort of thing he should drag yuri or anya into instead. but.

it's enough to get him to try to be honest: ]

I'm not sure how I'd handle losing it.

[windeity]

Well first of all. [A twirl.] You won't lose it. Do you realize it's five in the morning and I'm dancing with you and I don't even dance, how in the fuck do you keep getting me to do these things?

[parodeity]

Five thirteen forty-seven. [ dave's lips twitch. ] It helps?

[windeity]

[He narrows his eyes a little.]

Because it's second nature? [Dancing and time, he thinks.] Do you do this with everybody or just me at this rate?

[parodeity]

[ ...um. that's a good question and dave doesn't quite miss a step but yeah he hasn't really thought about it? ]

- It's a just-you thing right now. It...gives me something to count.

[windeity]

You're already counting minutes in your head, aren't you? [He's trying to understand what the fuck but hey.]