parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 2.0;

A balloon has the same idea of the kind of circuit you're envisaging, so I'm taking it. Do you want to see my second leaf?

[ HE DOESN'T REALLY WANT TO SEE THE SECOND LEAF, DIRK, BUT: ]

Sure.

[TOO BAD. Dirk holds up his second diagram. This time, there are also two circles! But the circles are different. One circle is Da + Di. The other circle is Di + J. The two circles are connected by a tangent dotted line.]

That's what I was imagining. It's why I'd hoped it wouldn't be a problem. I didn't think...When I imagined it, there were still two closed circles, one for us and one for me and him. The only time anything crossed over that line was when it was stuff that doesn't matter and doesn't really mean anything, things about the Kharaa or stuff me and him discovered about URSULA's servers. I saw it as information that I'd want you both to know as someone on my team in a fight, information that doesn't seem important except for our basic survival so you both would have a right to know.

I didn't understand why you saw it as an open circuit. Now I do, and I get why it bothers you.

[ well. dave at least listened to the whole explanation. ]

All right. That's fine. I'm still fine with you tellin' him whatever. Next decision?

[ but he's not sure what to say about it and is well aware most of the issues are just His Issues. it's easier to let it go. ]

I don't think we're there for the next decision yet.

[Dirk... puts his leaves down. Goodbye, diagram leaves.]

The whole point of it is that I saw it one way, and now I understand. I get why you aren't okay with it. I'd like to make that the point we start working from.

[ the visual aids didn't have enough dumb comics ]

Oh. Uh. Ok? I understand how you saw it too.

[ it's not the way in which dave sees it and he gets that and. is not sure of step two. shit why does he suck at this. ]

I'm workin' on...not.

You don't... have to? You can if you want to. But... I bifurcated the information in my head, made a distinction between the two kinds. I get now that you don't and it makes sense why. From that, it doesn't make sense for me to ask you to trust someone you barely know. Jake's awesome and I love him, but he's basically a stranger to you. It would be stupid and unfair to ask you to trust him.

But it's important to you to be able to tell him these things?

[ so, obviously: yes he does have to? dave frowns, not. able to unfollow that logical leap there. maybe they weren't entirely done talking about how to say no or what constituted saying it. or sticking to saying no. or anything. ]

So it's fine.

I'm not disagreeing with that. But it's equally important for you to be able to tell me things, and it was a mistake for me to ask you to extend that kind of trust to Jake out of hand. It isn't like I'd trust [Karkat doesn't work. Well, sub in someone else] John. I don't trust John. I don't know him. Would you expect me to trust him with things?

No? But John wouldn't care one way or the other. His reaction to not bein' told shit has historically been pretty mild.

[ annoyed or oblivious or occasionally mad but. mild overall. ]

Yeah, but you still wouldn't expect me to even if he did care. Or if you did, you wouldn't just tell me that that was how it was from now on and expect me to deal with it.

[ okay that statement seems accurate, so where's the trap.

shit dirk hates it when he treats a conversation like a battlefield. okay. just...assume there's no trap. ]

I wouldn't expect you to, no. It's one of the things we'd have dealt with in wildly different manners.

Right. So... [Here's the trap. Here it comes.]

I guess I'm askin' what you would've done if our situations were reversed.

[The trap is: Dirk doesn't know what to do. Open expression, a frown just there at the eyebrows, but only looking at Dave wanting to understand him. Looking for answers, or at least some kind of compromise or better path forward.]

[ THIS IS WHY HE TREATS CONVERSATIONS LIKE BATTLEFIELDS, and dave gives a little "ugh" but. ]

I don't think it really follows, dude. If I told John to just trust me and not worry about trustin' you, his entire reaction would be "okay whatever". He's trusted me on weirder bullshit without anythin' other than my word before. He's like...

[ well. ]

He's John. We wouldn't have ever had to discuss the topic.

[EXCEPT IT ISN'T AN ACTUAL TRAP. It's just. Dirk not knowing. And hoping Dave might have an idea.

So much for that. There's the hint of some kind of self-mocking smile.]

He's John, and you're you. Jake doesn't trust me, for very good reason. Sorry.

None of them would have given a fuck if I'd told them to trust me and not worry about it, yeah. It's not like we wouldn't collectively decide to inform someone about an issue when it became an issue they'd have to worry about - although actually John maybe should worry about that since Rose and I sure did fuckin' not notify anyone else when the dreamself suicide mission became, like, a for real suicide mission.

[ but it's john and he wouldn't care. ]

Just...do whatever you have to do to get Jake to trust you.

Accidentally burning everything down because I totally misapplied what he told me is probably not the way to convince him I'm trustworthy.

[He's frowning. He's trying to work it out. He pauses, and then breathes.]

Okay. You can tell me if this is a really stupid, impossible idea. It might not make any sense. Just... let me know the truth of how you feel about it. We can throw it out if it seems idiotic to you.

You'll have to tell me the idea in order for me to tell you what I think about it.

[ unless that was an attempt to get dave to promise to be truthful, in which case he. didn't do that yet but. ]

[no he's just flustered and nervous]

Give a dude some time to work up to being an idiot.

[But Dirk, it comes so naturally to you.]

Okay. Uh. I pictured it as two circles with a tangent line. And you pictured a balloon. You're trying to make yourself okay with balloons. What if... What if you didn't make yourself accept a balloon, and you didn't make me break my own circle. What if. We took out the tangent and then...

Would it be... He wants to be your friend, you know. He cares about you and just wants to be your friend. Would you consider getting to know him? And he gets to know you, too. You make your own indeterminate shape, and I stop living in a bizarre triangular conflict with my best friend and my brother because you can just decide for yourselves what kind of relationship you want instead of having all of your conversations mediated by me. You don't have to trust him, that isn't a requirement. Just... the flow of information becomes a thing determined by your relationship with each other, instead of mine with both of you.

Or that's stupid and I should restrict myself to a life of silence and drawing dickbutts.

Edited 2017-01-13 23:15 (UTC)

I don't...I've never minded the idea of gettin' to know him. I'm not opposed, that just...does not actually resolve the situation, you realize. I do not actually tell my friends everythin', or even everythin' they'd want to know. Gettin' to know me would not help the whole him trustin' you thing.

[ or the dave trusting dirk thing but he's just. not addressing that in full. ]

I'm fine with it, it's just that you seem to be shootin' yourself in the foot here. You can just do the tell him whatever thing.

I know it doesn't, in that I know you don't share all information with your friends by any means. But I think it would help him trust me in the sense that you'd be making choices about information for yourselves, instead of through me. You're both most worried about messin' up my relationship with the other, so what I'm trying to find is something that will take me out of it.

I wouldn't tell him anything from you since that would be your choice to make, just as it would be his choice to tell anything to you. The only things I'd tell him would be my things, which is what he actually wants from me. Neither of you would have to decide on trusting me based on whether you trust each other.

In this scenario what exactly would you be doin' if I were to start consultin' you on shit like the Kharaa again?

[ dave files the question under "morbid curiosity". ]

I'd call you out on being an idiot for getting into a situation like that again. [First thing.] Then leave it up to you to decide if or when you decided to tell Jake about it.

They haven't killed me yet in this timeline.

[ that's Suspiciously Specific Wording, but. ]

I...don't know how fast I'll stop worryin' about you tellin' people shit or deciding you need to. But okay.

That was very specific wording.

[wait.

what.]

Okay?

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