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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[parodeity]

[ dave pauses his bill perusal to stare down at john, one eyebrow raising. ] The part where I was extra bossy or the part where I abused the fuck out of your neck or what?

[windeity]

Both? [He rubs the side of his neck though where the bruises are finally starting to fade.] Don't make it weird, but both. I know it was not entirely you, so I'm not going to ask that you do it again, but I am just saying.

[parodeity]

So like... [ he's not trying to make it weird, but. ] Uh, so I guess we should...talk? About all that. Like - were you fine with...

[ no this is weird ]

[windeity]

[He lifts an eyebrow.] ...if you're trying to ask if I was fine with fingering you, the answer's yes.

[COOL. MAKE IT EVEN WEIRDER, JOHN.]

[parodeity]

[ progress: dave doesn't shove john off his lap, though he considers it. it's stupid how he can make jokes and comics and even be upfront in bed but then he feels shy and awkward about being straightforward out of it. ]

That was one thing, yeah. Just...wanted to be sure since we were both. You know.

[windeity]

Monsters? [He laughs a little, but he sobers up pretty quickly after that.] ...I really love you. So even if I was not a monster, I would have been fine trying it to see what works for us and what doesn't work for us. You're you and that's what makes all of this okay.

[parodeity]

I love you too. [ he drops the bill on johns face. ] ...it's like the big and little spoon thing, you know?

[windeity]

[He doesn't even bother to move it, but thanks Dave.] ...you mean swapping when we feel like it?

[parodeity]

I mean...if you ever want me to like...maul your neck and boss you around. I can. For you I could pretty much...you know. Do whatever. It ain't my natural first instinct I guess, but that's to, like, make you happy? So maybe it is.

[windeity]

[...he's just grinning, give him a moment.] I get it. My first instinct is to make you happy, too. Luckily I don't always want you to maul the shit out of my neck and I can be content in other ways such as you doing all the math on our bills and then coming with me to figure out what the hell these tickets are for.

[parodeity]

[ god. dave picks the bill up again. pretend he doesn't have a small impossibly fond smile on his face. ] Like I'd let you handle the bills. Then I might have to handle the cooking...and I'm always game for memory item russian roulette. [ ... ] I don't always want certain things from you either, but uh - thanks. For...doing them, and y'know.

[windeity]

[He sits up just enough to kiss him.] I'd do anything you asked. That was true even before we were dating though. Thank you for figuring out this relationship with me.

[parodeity]

[ glad dave's going to hunch over at an awkward angle to kiss back. for about five seconds until john stops and then there's an annoyed noise as he tosses the bills to the coffee table. ] Okay, either we do the tickets or we get more comfortable because I love you but ow my neck?

[windeity]

You do not get to talk to me about neck pain, Strider. [But he finally sits all the way up and crawls out of Dave's lap, reaching down to grab his hand to pull him up.] Tickets though. I want to see what they are.

[parodeity]

I do so, because you enjoyed your neck pain. [ dave licks his lips, but uh blood is less appealing now it's just...automatic. he takes john's hand and allows himself to be hauled to his feet. ]

[windeity]

Maybe a little too much. [He keeps his fingers laced with Dave's though and moves to grab his car keys and also an extra sweater to toss at Dave.] I'll drive.

[parodeity]

Yeah, well. It's not like I didn't enjoy it. [ dave lets go of john's hand to pull on the sweater. ]

[windeity]

Next time I feel like being bit I'll let you know immediately. [Probably soon. Whatever. He waits patiently before he heads out, waiting for Dave to follow before locking the front door and heading over to open Dave's door as usual. To the waffle house!]

[parodeity]

Is it weird I have residual feelings of bloodlust. [ yes. but he slides into the car and buckles up. to the waffle house! ]

[windeity]

Yes. Please don't bite any of our friends this time. [Driving! The drive to Wiffle-Waffle isn't that long, at least, and by the time John parks the place isn't so packed.] I have four tickets so far. Do you want me to read you what they are or just pick one at random?

[parodeity]

Pretty much exclusively focused on you. [ clarifying! with horrible shit. ] Also, random is always the answer.

[windeity]

I'd rather you suck something else, but that can be whenever. [Sure, let's make jokes about it. He grabs for the four tickets, holding up the first one and squinting a little.]

...hey, does the word "Homosuck" mean anything to you?

[parodeity]

...uh, that you really really want me to suck your dick?

[ a blowjob joke followed by the word homosuck leads to only this conclusion. ]

[windeity]

Yes, but that probably wouldn't be on this ticket if that's the only thing it meant. Come on. [Out of the car and to the mailbox he goes. He's waiting for Dave (he opened the door for him at least before disappearing) but when he hears Dave walking closer he shoves the ticket in the mailbox...

...and produces three shitty cardboard cut-outs of Dave, Rose and Jade.]

[parodeity]

[ a long pause. ]

...

[ it continues. ]

Dude, what the fuck? Did you make a stick figure me to role play with.