You do not get to talk to me about neck pain, Strider. [But he finally sits all the way up and crawls out of Dave's lap, reaching down to grab his hand to pull him up.] Tickets though. I want to see what they are.
I do so, because you enjoyed your neck pain. [ dave licks his lips, but uh blood is less appealing now it's just...automatic. he takes john's hand and allows himself to be hauled to his feet. ]
Maybe a little too much. [He keeps his fingers laced with Dave's though and moves to grab his car keys and also an extra sweater to toss at Dave.] I'll drive.
Next time I feel like being bit I'll let you know immediately. [Probably soon. Whatever. He waits patiently before he heads out, waiting for Dave to follow before locking the front door and heading over to open Dave's door as usual. To the waffle house!]
Yes. Please don't bite any of our friends this time. [Driving! The drive to Wiffle-Waffle isn't that long, at least, and by the time John parks the place isn't so packed.] I have four tickets so far. Do you want me to read you what they are or just pick one at random?
I'd rather you suck something else, but that can be whenever. [Sure, let's make jokes about it. He grabs for the four tickets, holding up the first one and squinting a little.]
...hey, does the word "Homosuck" mean anything to you?
Yes, but that probably wouldn't be on this ticket if that's the only thing it meant. Come on. [Out of the car and to the mailbox he goes. He's waiting for Dave (he opened the door for him at least before disappearing) but when he hears Dave walking closer he shoves the ticket in the mailbox...
...and produces three shitty cardboard cut-outs of Dave, Rose and Jade.]
I don't know, a sculpture? I could at least carry that around. Anyway this isn't from thirteen year old me. Or sixteen year old me. This is from...maybe that green-skulled guy? I think.
Probably one of the ones we split up to go fight later, like how we were fighting Betty Crocker and also the dogs. Anyway, he was doing this, like, weird comic thing with you guys. I kind of remember it now but I think I ignored it after I was buried in a bunch of paper-yous.
Because he made you the hero and I didn't even exist. Also? He made like twenty of you. [There's a snort.] Come to think of it, I wonder if this is why I ended up punching him in the first place. Anyway we can keep them in the living room or something.
But I'm not the cool guy. Everybody knows the cool guy tells the best stories. [With that though, he sends their new cardboard buddies into his sylladex.] Three more tickets left. [He holds them up, backs facing Dave so he can't see what they are.] Wanna pick?
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...hey, does the word "Homosuck" mean anything to you?
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[ a blowjob joke followed by the word homosuck leads to only this conclusion. ]
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...and produces three shitty cardboard cut-outs of Dave, Rose and Jade.]
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...
[ it continues. ]
Dude, what the fuck? Did you make a stick figure me to role play with.
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[ he knows someone is named lord english okay. ]
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[ they have too many final bosses. ]
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