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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[windeity]

...that...is a very hard bargain, Strider. [Because he's a sucker. And he loves Dave's eyes. Mostly he's a sucker and will do whatever for the chance to see them all the time.] ...fine, but you have to keep pictures of me with this stupid Santa beard to a minimum.

[parodeity]

I can't believe this worked better than my other attempts. [ or he can. but despite the sunshine dave slides his shades off and slides them into his sylladex. ] Also, I will attempt to contain myself.

[windeity]

You severely underestimate how much I like your eyes. But if the sun's too bright later you can put them on again.

[It shouldn't though. They fly and eventually land on a platform of lush umbrella-shaped plants and John touches down to begin walking.] What if we don't run into any cut-outs you'd actually do though?

[parodeity]

Then I'll dress up in whatever ridiculous bullshit you want at home and you'll look like a weird amalgamation of cut out art? [ and the forest is shady enough he seems fine, even if he does shade his eyes a bit at first. adjusting to the light is annoying. ] ...But let's be real, I'll break down and do one eventually.

[windeity]

That better be a promise. Both of those. I don't want to be the only person stuck looking like a dumbass here. [He's fine with that though.] The next one's probably not far from here. Any bets what it is?

[parodeity]

A girl in a bikini with a very muscular man. [ no he has no idea ]

[windeity]

Okay, I refuse to wear a bikini no matter how much I love you. I do not think I have the figure for that?

[parodeity]

Wow, you'll murder for me but you won't model swimwear? [ he would not ask john to and yet. ]

[windeity]

Only one of those is threatening to my dignity, babe, and it's not murder. [He says, while there's a murder case going around. As they walk, he spots the next cut-out and points toward it.]

I think that's our target. [Dave wasn't...entirely off. While it's not a muscular dude and a girl in a bikini, it's a muscular dude and a girl in a coconut bra and a grass skirt...]

[parodeity]

...yeah I wanna see if you get more ripped?

[windeity]

[It's definitely also a guy with a kind of bathing suit cover tied around his waist and also holding a ukelele. So there's that.] Do you really think it'll work that way?

[parodeity]

If not it will maybe make you shirtless so it's a risk I'm willing to take??

[windeity]

If it doesn't get rid of the beard and wizard hat, I'm definitely making you take the next one. [But he wanders over to stand behind the muscle board anyway.] Snap when you're ready.

[parodeity]

That's fair. [ he's snapping the photo with a laugh. ]

[windeity]

[The good news is the beard and hat disappear! The bad news is John's now in what's effectively a beach-y loincloth with bigger muscles and holding a ukulele. He looks at the guitar for a moment before he looks at Dave.]

This is so your fault.

[parodeity]

[ is that bad news???? dave...helpfully takes a picture. ]

Do you think the girl one would give one of us boobs? Maybe we shouldn't mess with nature. [ ... ] Time for a ukulele solo?

[windeity]

First of all, even though I still like girls I am not sure how I feel about either of us having boobs. Second of all what makes you think I can play the ukulele? [He's already fiddling with the strings though.]

[parodeity]

It's you, of course you can. Also I would look hot with boobs? Although I believe you said I'm already the hottest person you've ever met.

[windeity]

[He begins playing an aimless little tune.] When did I say that again? [There's a grin though so like. He's pretty sure that's true.]

[parodeity]

February fifteenth. You were sayin' I wasn't just a hot guy, etc. [ apparently it stuck out. ]

[windeity]

I forget sometimes that I cannot get anything past the dude of time. [He's...playing Dave's song on the ukulele, though it's missing a lot of notes. Woe.] But that was true then. Even more true now.

[parodeity]

[ dave is still charmed?? ] So, are you cold at all in the whole. Loincloth thing? And also you're the hottest person I know, too.

[windeity]

Don't judge me for this but I am sort of comfortable like this. I think we're in a jungle climate? [Shrug.] I wonder how many of these we have to do though.

[parodeity]

Let's find a terrible 80s fashion one. I will totally let you 80s montage me.

[windeity]

Sure, pick the cool one. [He rolls his eyes, but he begins to walk away while playing the ukulele.] Your turn to try and find it. Think the time thing would help us find it faster?